Not the post I planned...but this works too.

I had actually begun writing a post about Christmas when my wonderful laptop that is on it's last leg decided to crash and erase everything.  I've decided to take that as a hint and not write the post.  Not now anyway.  Unfortunately it wasn't exactly your typical joyful Christmas post.  Let's just say that this year was filled with entirely too much drama which lead to disappointment.  It's sad, but it's true.  Maybe I'll write about it later on, when I'm not so frustrated.  I could certainly use some advice on how to deal with some of these issues.

So instead I'm going to give you a little pregnancy update.  A lot has really changed in the last couple of weeks.  Just a bit of a disclaimer before I start.  Some of this may seem like complaining.  Believe me I'm not complaining.  I'm just being real and honest about what's going on and how I feel.  I am very thankful that I'm getting to experience this...even if some of it isn't so comfortable.  In fact, a lot of these symptoms have helped this to feel even more real.  Because, well, even at 28 weeks (tomorrow), there are still days that I don't actually believe that I'm pregnant...and that there will be a baby in my arms in 12ish weeks...despite my belly that is growing out of control!

Speaking of the belly.  Wow has it grown!  I need to take another picture.  It's like I woke up one day and it was twice what it was the day before.  It's getting pretty sore feeling.  It's like I can feel my muscles stretching apart.  I've been slathering my belly, hips, and lower back with a lemon and vitamin E oil everyday.  Not necessarily to try to prevent the dreaded stretch mark (from what I understand those are more genetic than anything...and so far I don't have any) but more for the itching.  It really seems to be making a difference.  On the nights I forget my tummy sort of feels sunburned.  You know that itchy feeling a sunburn gives you.  Apparently it was so itchy the other night that I scratched in my sleep until I broke skin.  Not very pretty.

Sleep has been super hard to come by.  I just can't seem to get comfortable.  I had just been using my regular two pillows (one under my head and one behind my back) and added a body pillow I got from Tar.get for cheap.  But that just wasn't cutting it anymore.  I finally broke down and bought a Boppy Total Body Pillow.  Oh my, what a difference!  I love this pillow!  I have slept a lot better since buying it last week.  Definitely worth the $50!

I feel like my body is breaking into a million pieces most of the time.  Everything hurts.  I has some serious restless leg and some major leg cramps.  I have never felt leg craps like this.  OUCH!  They wake me up a lot during the night.  My hips are super sore and so is my lower back.  I'm still having some sciatic issues that make it difficult to walk sometimes.  K laughs at me because I look like an 80 year old woman hobbling along.  It really is a funny sight.  To top it off, my feet and ankles are so swollen!  I have always had nice skinny feel and ankles...now I have cankles.  It's really silly looking.  None of my shoes fit.  I bought some flip flops several weeks back that were a little bigger, however, they aren't cutting it in our unseasonably cold Florida December.  I've been on the search for new shoes but haven't had much luck.  Sneakers seem to be my friend lately, although they don't fit so well either.

One of my doctors mentioned to me at my 17 week appointment that I have a very very short torso.  At that time he said my uterus should be measuring a few inches above my belly button.  However, I was already measuring up to about an inch below my bust line.  I was measuring perfectly for the week that I was it was just higher up than it is on most women.  He said this would make things a bit more uncomfortable as time went on.  He said I would experience some things a bit earlier than a lot of women do.  Well, he wasn't kidding!  I CANNOT BREATHE!  I feel like my lungs have been squished down to nothing.  It is not fun at all.  I feel like I'm out of breath all the time.  And, sweet little Mary-Grace, is loving to sick her feet up there making is oh so much more uncomfortable.

This same short torso issue also seems to be squishing my stomach.  I am starving all of the time but can't seem to eat more than a very small amount.  It's extremely painful if I do.

I'm emotional wreck most of the time.  I cry over everything, happy and sad.  I cried over hashbrown casserole on my birthday.  That's pretty sad.  I cry over commercials and tv shows.  I cry just thinking about things.  I've always been pretty emotional but this is pretty crazy, even for me.  I had a meltdown over crib bedding last night that was ridiculous.  When I'm not crying I find it all pretty funny.

Headaches and Migraines are still the norm for me.  It's pretty much a daily thing.  But, that's pretty much been my life for years.  It's just a little harder to deal with being pregnant since I can't take any of the good drugs.

On the plus side.  I haven't really had any heartburn issues at all.  Knock On Wood!  I think I've gotten it a handful of times.  Not too shabby seeing as how I've heard horror stories.  I've also had no constipation issues.  I've heard that can be terrible too.  I'm very thankful for that!

Mary-Grace is moving more and more everyday.  It seems to be constant and my doctors always comment on how crazy active she is.  Her kicks and jabs get stronger and stronger and can even be pretty uncomfortable at times.  I swear she's doing acrobatics in there.  I like to lay down, flat on my back, and just watch her move.  It's so much fun!

I find myself getting more and more anxious everyday to meet her.  I just want to see her face.  I'm not scared of labor at all (not yet anyway).  Whatever it takes to get here into my arms.  I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that in less than 3 months there will be a baby in this house.  In my house!  A baby?  It just doesn't make sense.

My baby shower is in just a few weeks on January 22nd.  MY BABY SHOWER!  How is that even possible?  How am I actually going to a baby shower that is for me?  I have longed for the day to go to my own shower.  I'm excited about it but also nervous.  I can't pinpoint the reason why it's making me nervous, it just is.  But I also feel so blessed.  This is all a dream come true.

Prayer Buddy Reveal!

This Advent I had the absolute privilege to pray for Barbie at Pray, Hope, Don't Worry!  It was truly an honor to pray for this lovely lady!

Throughout Advent I offered up many sufferings for her intentions as well as for her husband and beautiful daughter Alana Clare.  I prayed for her at Mass, during daily prayers and any time she popped into my head.

Barbie, I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.  I will also include all three of you in my prayer list that will go to the hospital with me in March.  I plan on offering up labor for you and your family as well as for others in this amazing blogging community.  I hope that you had a blessed Advent and a wonderful Chirstmas!


A special thank you to my wonderful prayer buddy Brenda at Life As We Know It!  Brenda, your prayers were amazing!  Thank you so much for praying for me!

Birthday Weekend

K and I had a blast in Orlando for my birthday weekend! It was so nice to get away for a few days and enjoy what has now become a birthday tradition. We can't wait to go back next year with Mary-Grace!

I didn't get a lot of pictures because I just forgot. And what pictures I did get were on our crappy camera. We have a really nice DSLR but I didn't feel like lugging it around. Some of these are iPhone pics others are my camera. Ignore the random date on some of the pics...I told you I didn't like that camera. :)







This is why I love my husband! He is such a goofball!!!







The only bump pic I got at Disney. :( I took my jacket off for the picture and it was freezing!!!







My view of the bump while on It's A Small World. :)







:)

We went to Disney on Thursday night. When we got back K had a cake for me. We usually have champagne after Mickey's Very Merry Christmas so this year we had to change plans slightly. :)






















The next day we spent at Downtown Disney. We both love walking around there. We had ice cream sundays at Ghirardelli's! Um...yum! We make a pit stop there every time we are in the area. Best ice cream eva!!!! We then had dinner at my favorite place, Bahama Breeze with my friend S and her fiancé.

On Saturday we made a pitstop at the Florida Mall before heading home.

On Sunday(my actual birthday) K too me out to breakfast at Cracker Barrel! Yum again!!! I did have a mini breakdown over hashbrown casserole that resulted in some tears but I won't go there. :) Let's just say a was being a big fat unreasonable baby!

Sunday night we had our last night with the youth group for a few weeks. We've been doing a lot to really teach them about Advent. The head of the youth asked K and I if we would mind dressing up as Mary and Joseph. We were to walk around the room during the story of Mary and Joseph pretending to be looking for somewhere to stay. She joked that we wouldn't need to use a pillow for my belly. :) it was surreal being dressed as Mary while pregnant. I had to fight back the tears.
--------------------------------------

Today I'm 27 weeks. THIRD TRIMESTER! Wow! Just Wow!
I still have absolutely nothing done for Mary-Grace's arrival. The room that will be hers still looks like a storage room. I'm hoping to get things moving next week.

I'm definitely getting more and more uncomfortable everyday. All the walking and late nights this weekend really took a toll on my body. My feet were so swollen. Sleep is definitely becoming increasingly difficult and I'm STARVING ALL.THE.TIME! A new symptom also developed this week. Um...the girls...well, they are leaking! Sorry if that's tmi. I knew this could happen but for some reason I thought it was closer to the end. I almost freaked out the first time. I woke up and noticed my shirt was a little wet. I had a dark shirt on and i was all sleepy-eyed so when I looked down my initial thought was that it was blood. I flipped out thinking they were bleeding. After further inspection I was happy to realize it wasn't that at all. Whew!

Mary-Grace will be here before I know it! I can't wait to meet her and kiss those cheeks and nibble her toes. I feel so unworthy!

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26 Weeks!

I'll be 26 weeks tomorrow!  Only 14 or so weeks left.  I just cannot believe it!

I'm definitely starting to feel more and more pregnant by the day.  I feel like every morning I look down and my belly looks bigger than the day before.  I definitely cannot see my toes without really bending forward to look.

We're leaving shortly for Orlan.do and I can't wait!  I'm curious how Disne.y is going to go tonight.  Mic.key's Very Mer.ry Chirst.mas is from 7-Midnight.  I don't usually last that long anymore.  And I got up rather early this morning.  Hopefully I'll get lots of rest while the others are riding the rides I can't go on.


I had an ultrasound yesterday.  It was actually supposed to be on Tuesday but I totally screwed up my appointment time.  I thought it was at noon.  Nope, it was at 10am.  Whoops!  They tried really hard to get me in seeing as how dh took a long lunch to be there are it's almost an hour drive but they just couldn't.  The office was open for only half a day that day and they were jam packed.  Fortunately they had an opening the next morning at 10am so I didn't have to wait long.  But I still lost it when we got in the car.  I just started to sob.  Poor dh, he didn't know what to do.  I don't know why I was so upset.  It's not like I was having to wait long.  I just can't seem to control my emotions lately.


The ultrasound went well but my darn anterior placenta made it difficult to get a great picture of her.  There's nothing we can do about that though I guess.  The tech found a great place where she could see clearly.  There was this great big pocket of fluid.  This would have helped with the view except that my sweet girl had already decided to flip head down.  So the pocked only showed her feet.  Cute as they are I would have loved a full view of her little face.  But what are you going to do?

Baby Legs!  Crossed like a good little lady. :)

Sticking out her tongue.

She's rubbing her left eye.

Big yawn!

Laughing! :)

This one is my favorite!  She's looking down with a little grin.  Her hands are near her chin.  We think she looks like she's praying. :)

Sucking on her fingers.

Resting her head in her hand.  BTW, that thing on the left covering the other side of her face is that darn placenta.

She was so much fun to watch.  We also got a video of the ultrasound.  I'm thinking about editing it and putting it to music.  You can already see that she has such a personality.  She was just so funny.  I think she knew we were watching her.  She had her mouth open the whole time.  The tech kept joking that she's going to be a talker.  K just sort of shook his head an laughed.  Poor guy!  If this is the case he's never going to get a word in.  I have a tendency to talk a bit too much. :)

**Updated**One of those days! Prayer Buddy...I need you!

So apparently you need 10,476 pieces of identification to renew your drivers license as of this past January. My license expires this Sunday and it completely slipped my mind. I went to the DMV today to renew. The nice woman behind the counter handed me a list of the 10,476 things I needed. Of course I had none of them. Fortunately I live only about 5 minutes away so I ran home to get them. After I gathered the ridiculous amount of documents to prove my existence, I hurried back to the DMV. My number got called right away! Sweet! I head up, find out I have to take a new picture...bummer! I look tired and swollen today...and the one on my license is actually pretty good. I had just gotten back from my honeymoon and was super happy and really tan! Oh well...gotta have a license right?

I start handing the lady all the necessary documents when she stops me. I guess the marriage certificate from the church is not good enough. Seriously? Why didn't the checklist I was given specify that? All it said was that it had to be certified. The one from the church had a raised seal. Besides it was the only one I had in our safe. I have no clue where the one from the state is!

Lovely! So she says I can go to the courthouse and get a copy. Um...yeah, that's great lady but I'm one county north of where we were married and it's an hour and a half drive to get downtown. With rush hour there is no way I'd make it there before it closes.

This would all not be such a huge deal except for the fact that we are leaving at noon tomorrow for my little birthday trip!!! I know, I know, I shouldn't have waited until the last second. If I wouldn't have, I could have renewed online and wouldn't need all of these documents. But I did so now I'm panicking!

My options are to try to get downtown and back tomorrow morning in morning rush hour, which will at minimum take 4 hours. And then hightail it to the DMV and pray there isn't a line. But even with that there is no way we will leave on time. The problem with this is that we have tickets somewhere tomorrow evening that we've already paid for so we're already on a time crunch. Or, just renew online. I know there is no way I will get my new license before Sunday, which I can deal with. But, there is a chance I won't get it until after Christmas. Um, I don't think I can not have a license all next week. Kind of a busy week. A day or two is one thing...over a week is a completely different story!!!

I double checked the law and in Florida, driving with an expired license gets you arrested. ARRESTED!!! Um...that's not going to work!

Now, again, I realize this is my fault! I should not have put this off. However, there is something I do not understand. Why do indeed my marriage certificate? I gave them that 4 years ago when I got married and changed my name. I even did that at the very same DMV office! So they're saying that for the rest if my life, whenever I renew, I have to bring that in? Makes no sense!!!! It's not like it changes or updates! I could get divorced and still have a copy if that certificate! I get needing your ss card and proof of address. Heck, I even get the birth certificate! But marriage license? I don't get it and frankly, I'm pretty ticked off right now!

Besides, if you need all of these documents why was that not included in the paperwork they sent me to tell me that I needed to review. That would have been very nice of them! Especially since these are new policies!!!!

So...if you've got a minute and could a spare a quick prayer that this thing turns up, I would be forever grateful!

P.S. I had another ultrasound today. It was supposed to be yesterday but that's a whole different story! It's been a crappy few days! I'll post picks as soon as I can. She's a cutie! :)

**Update**
I spoke with my BIL's girlfriend who happens to be a cop. She said that if I renew online and do not receive my license on time to just carry the print out that shows I renewed in my wallet. If I get pulled over, she said to give the officer both. She said they will take my license because it's not valid anymore but they will just look me up in the system and see that I renewed. She also said that a real nasty cop may write me a ticket for not having my license on me but I wouldn't be arrested. That makes me feel much better! I'd like to not have my mugshot out there for public record. Especially a pregnant mugshot. Wouldn't that be attractive? :)


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Yikes! Two posts in one day!

So I don't want to detract from my earlier post but I just noticed something...

I'm at the 100 day mark! Only 100 more days until my due date! Seriously? I know I say this all of the time, but when the heck did that happen?

I just can't wait to meet her and see her sweet little face! I get giddy and all misty eyed thinking about it. I have another 4d ultrasound tomorrow at noon. I'll be almost 26 weeks! Hopefully I've put some chunk on that skinny little body we saw last time. :)





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Prayer Request for a Stranger

So last night at Mass I took my usual seat in the second row while I waited for dh to finish up some things for youth later that night. A few seconds after insatiable down I realized a bathroom trip would be a good idea before Mass started. Upon my return I noticed a couple in the row eight behind me. We end up sitting near them every week. I stopped and smiled. The woman looked at me, then my belly, then back at me and said hi. I look pretty darn pregnant now do there's no denying it. It's been pretty obvious for a long time now. I'm pretty sure this isn't the first time she's notices.

Anyways. I tool my seat right I. Front of them waiting for K. Then I hear the woman start to tell her husband about a woman she works with who is pregnant. Then she tells him that something is wrong with the baby and that whatever it is is making the mother sick. She said something about it causing the mother some sort of kidney problems. I thought to myself, that is so sad! They the lady tells her husband that this particular woman also already has an Autistic child. I thought, wow! This has got to be a really hard time for this poor mother! The next thing I heard this woman say nearly caused my jaw to hit the floor. She said, "You know, I just don't know why women put themselves through these things! It's just not worth it!"

My first reaction was anger. I thought to myself, what is she saying? Is she suggesting that the woman should just abort the baby because it is just too much to deal with. Is she seriously sitting in church, in front of the tabernacle no less, having this conversation with her husband in a very audible voice? It's not like I had to strain to hear this conversation. I wasn't trying to listen, I couldn't avoid it. And then I thought, my gosh! She is talking about this in this loud voice right behind me, a woman who is obviously pregnant. What if there were some medical issues with my baby?

The whole situation broke my heart. And then I realized that me sitting there stewing in my anger was doing no good. I decided to say a prayer for the woman, her baby, and her autistic child. I also said a prayer for the couple that was sitting behind me. After Mass I told K, the story. He was sickened just as I was. We decided that we would add all five if these souls to our Advent prayer list. All five of them need our prayers.

I thought I would tell you all about what happened because I know what amazing prayer warriors you all are. If any of you have a minute and could pray for these 5, I think that would be wonderful! It certainly can't hurt.


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7 Quick Takes

Before I get started...thanks Leila for answering my question on my post yesterday. It has been something that has been eating at me for a really long time. Noe I wish I could just wish I could get him and the rest of the family to understand this. I feel like he doesn't understand his faith enough to get it and unfortunately neither does his family. They are steering him wrong. :(

So Anyhoo...let the quick takes begin!

1. I'm having lunch with a woman I met through working with the teenagers at church. She is a bit older than me (I believe late 30's) but we have so much in common. She and her husband suffered through IF for 11 years. They just finally had a baby girl this past February. Her little girl is one of the sweetest, most adorable little girls I have ever seen. It's kinda funny though. I always noticed her at church and one day our priest did the blessing of expecting parents at our 6pm Mass. It's never done then. It's always once a month at the 9:30am Mass. I remember she and her husband walking up to the front (he did it special for them) and tears started streaming down my face. However, I stead of my usual sad, poor me, tears I had nothing but tears of joy for them. I did not know them at the time. I had no real knowledge of their struggles. But I just knew. I knew this was special. It's like all of us IF girls have this unspoken bond. What a blessing!

2. It's Friday and I still haven't heard from my doctor about my gestational diabetes test. They said they would call by the end of the week but only if there was a problem. Fingers crossed they don't call today!

3. We are leaving for Orlando in less than a week! Wahoo! I'm such a 5 year old! I live Disney and am so glad we don't live too far. An hour, hour and a half away, tops. My 28th birthday is on Sunday the 19th and we are celebrating with my best friend S by going to Mickey's Very Merry Christmas. We have done this almost every year since K and I have been together. It's AWESOME! I cannot wait! I told K we need to get some bump pictures in front of Cinderella's Castle all lit up! And I. Front of all the beautiful Christmas Trees. One day we can show Marry-Grace her first trip to Disney. And believe me...we'll be taking her with us next year! She won't remember it, but I will! I can't wait!

4. Mary-Grace is moving around more and more everyday! And all of her little kicks are getting stronger and stronger. I can now see my tummy jump when she does it. It's got to be the coolest thing I've ever seen. Sometimes she kicks at the sMe time on opposite sides of my belly. I imagine her stretching her whole body. So sweet! I tried to catch it on video the other day so K could see it. She doesn't like to do it for him. But alas, she must have known it was for daddy. She's a bit stubborn like her mama. :)

5. I'm am just sew stinkin happy for Sew! What a trooper! Hannah has for to be one of the most precious little girls ever! Such a cutie! A 6lb 10oz preemie? That's bigger than I was at full term! And no time in the NICU! And got to go home with mommy and daddy in just 2 days! How amazing!!!!!

6. Hannah's early arrival reminded me that everything is in God's time. We so often make all of these plans and try to plan everything out down to the last detail. We want everything on our own time. But in the end it is God and his perfect plan for our lives. And Gods way always turns out to be better than our way. I find that very comforting. If everything went according to my plans I would be in big big trouble! :) Oh, and it also taught me that I may want to have my hospital bags packed a little sooner than I originally thought necessary. :)

7. I'm going to a special Advent Mass tonight. I wanted to let all of you IF girls who are still waiting know that you will be in my prayers. You are all still always in my prayers. I have not forgotten you. I know how hard this time of year can be. Please know you have not been forgotten and thy I love you all!


Happy Friday! Have a great weekend!


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Thoughts

What am I cooking?
I made BBQ Chicken tonight. Well Kevin actually cooked it on the grill. Raw meet is still giving me the creeps so he's been helping a lot in that department.

What are my weekend plans?
Saturday I'm going to look at some fabric for Mary-Grace's bedding. My MIL is going to help me make it. We may pick out paint colors if I find some fabric I like. Sunday I have a cookie exchange party! Yum!

What are my prayer intentions for the day?
Prayers for my prayer buddy of course! Also my anxiety. It's gotten pretty bad and I'm sure if I wasn't pregnant my doc would be recommending meds. I've been down that path and don't want to again.

What have I done for my marriage this week?
He was very happy with how clean the house stayed this week. I actually stayed on top of it! I also made him cookies on Tuesday.

What am I reading?
For the first time in as long as I can remember, nothing. I just haven't had the brain cells to comprehend much of anything.

What’s challenging me lately? Shaving my legs and painting my toes.

Something that made me think?
The annulment process. Does anyone know much about it. Not because I need one of course! Let me give you a situation (I don't want to name names). Say a man gets a divorce a year and a half after marriage (very sad). He wanted the divorce. He was actually the first to brig it up. The divorce was final about a year ago. He is interested in an annulment but has yet to start the process. He may have a valid case but I'm thinking it's definitely not a slam dunk situation. He is already dating a woman very seriously. Is this ok? I'm thinking no. Shouldn't he seek the annulment first? My thinking is, what if he is not granted the annulment? Then what? Isn't the annulment period (when sought soon after divorce as in this case) supposed to be a time of reflection? I have many more questions on this topic and will more than likely do a whole post about it soon. I just wanted to get a feel for how it works since I have no clue and I'm concerned about said person.

Happy almost Friday!!!!


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First of all, have y'all seen Sew's blog! I just can't believe it! So many prayers going her way!!!!

Second, thanks so much for all of your prayers and encouragement yesterday. Hopefully I won't be hearing from the doctor this week! Although I probably will. They also checked my iron. I have had low iron issues off and on since I was a teenager so I'm thinking that may come back abnormal. I'm ok with that though. I can take an iron supplement, no problemo!

Although I'm still praying for no GD, I'm feeling more at peace about it today. Must be all of your prayers. If I've got it, well then I've got it, and I'll deal with it then. No sense in getting ahead of myself!

So I thought I'd give you a little pregnancy update.

I have been so worried about gaining too much weight. My doctors are real weight nuts and are quick to tell you not to gain too much. The first doctor I saw said he tells all of his women that there is no need to gain more than 20-25lbs. Ummm, most women I know gain more. Anyhoo, I was worried that I had gained a lot over the past 4 weeks because I definitely got much bigger. Well somehow I managed to not gain a pound. Not only did I not gain, I lost 1/2 a pound. Seriously? How the heck did that happen? I am so much bigger!!!! Weight totally baffles my mind. It really is different for everyone in the case of appearances. I'm 25 weeks tomorrow and I've only gained 11lbs. However I look like I've gained about 30. So weird! I could have definitely stood to lose a few pounds before I was pregnant (darn IF, weight gain) but this seems crazy to me. I asked to doctor if I should be worried about the weight loss this month and he said not as long as Mary-Grace is growing normally. Of course I should try to lose but if I'm eating normally and healthy not to worry. He also pointed out that I have nice "birthing" hips so I don't need as much weight gain. Maybe that also explained why my hips haven't gotten any wider. :)

The doctor also measured my belly. I was measuring at exactly 24 weeks. I was 24 weeks 5 days yesterday so that's great!

He brought up the flu shot and asked if I planned on getting one. I told him I wasn't planning on it and he said it was totally up to me but did remind me if the risks. I told him I would think about it but I'm still leaning towards no. If I was still teaching I would but I figure my exposure is really low now.

I talked to him about my daily morning migraines. He said that I can call anytime I feel like the pain is unbearable and come in for some sort of pain shot. I'm going to try to avoid that but it's nice knowing that it's available if I need it.

When we listened to her heartbeat he noted that she was super active. I told him that sugar drink didn't help but that she's alway super active. He liked that and said she must be strong. He said it's very common for women with an anterior placenta not to feel the baby a lot and for the movements not to be strong. She's got strong legs like her mama.

I have another 4d ultrasound next week on the 14th. Wahoo! I can't wait to see my baby girl again!

Other than that I do t see the doctors again until January 4th. After that I go to bi-weekly appointments. I cannot believe it! She will be here before I know it!




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Silly Anxiety! ***Updated

I feel so silly asking for your prayers for this but I've had so much anxiety the past few days about it that I'm starting to make myself sick. Ick!

I've got my glucose screening today at 1:10. That means I will be drinking this nastiness is a few hours.






Oh yummy! I'm just being a bit sarcastic. :)

My mom had gestational diabetes with both of my younger sisters. We aren't sure if she had it with me because she didn't receive any prenatal care. (I don't know if I mentioned it here but my parents weren't married and she didn't tell anyone about me until 20 days before I was born.) I'm thinking she probably had it with me too. Just a hunch. I've heard that it can be genetic so I'm pretty worried.

I don't know why GD freaks me out so much. Everyone says it's not the end of the world. And I know that if I fail this test I may still pass the 3 hour one. I just really don't want to have to even worry about the 3 hour test.

I feel like I'm just going to bomb it. It's so ridiculous because there is no way for me to know that.

I'm worried that if I do have GD, it's going to totally ruin my birth plans. My office induces one week prior to your due date if you have GD. I have been praying and really wanting a natural, unmedicated birth. Induction means Pitocin...and Pitocin is definitely on my "don't touch me with that" list. With Pitocin comes epidurals, and I really just don't want tong there.

I know I'm getting way ahead if myself. And I know that in the end I want what's best for Mary-Grace. I'll do whatever I have to to get her here healthy.

So if you have a second and can say a quick little prayer for me, mostly for peace, I would greatly appreciate it!

Thank you! Thank you!

** I'm posting this from a new app on my iPhone. If it looks all wonky I'm sorry. :) I'll fix it when I get home.

***Update***

Remember these...



Remember drinking the melted part? That's pretty much what the stuff they make you drink tastes like. Except that it's like drinking 20 of them. No too terribly bad. It does make you feel pretty bad though. It made my stomach upset and my head hurt. I felt like I was on the worst sugar high ever.

Mart-Grace seemed to enjoy it though. She has been practicing her karate ever since I drank it. :)

Of course I don't have results yet. Thy said it will take a few days. If I don't here anything by the end of the week I'm good and have nothing to worry about. I'm hoping for no phone calls!



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PSA

When you need to wash clothes it is imperative that you actually put the clothes in the washer. Running the washer without laundry in it does you no good. The load of laundry will still be dirty. Or in my case, two loads. Yes, I made this mistake twice...in a row.

Bump Pictures! FINALLY!

Note to self: It is not a good idea to wait until you are halfway through your pregnancy to start taking pictures!  It is a serious shock to your system to see what you look like.  Oh my!  Oh my!  I almost passed out yesterday when I saw the picture K took of me.  Sheesh!  I'm getting huge.  I can't believe I'm about to post these on here.  I've never been photogenic.  Weird things happen to my eyes and my smile.  Especially when I am alone in a picture.  I never look like myself and I always look heavier.  K even agreed with me yesterday that the picture he took of me looks about 10lbs heavier that I actually do in person.  Thank goodness because I almost cried when I saw it.  I've always had body image issues and unfortunately they don't go away just because you are pregnant.  Silly me, I thought they would.  But despite my insecurities, I am so happy and so blessed to have this little one swimming around in my belly. :)  If I had to gain 200lbs I would...I may cry...but I would still do it. :)

So, after almost 24 weeks I finally present you with some bump pictures. :)

I took this one at about 20 weeks.  Please excuse my messy bathroom. :)

K took this picture yesterday at 23 weeks 5 days.  Yikes!

On a completely different note.  I am so excited about prayer buddies!  I feel so unworthy to be praying for the amazing woman I am praying for.  I will do my best to pray my little heart out for her.  Prayer buddies makes me giddy!  :)

Thankful

As I sit here and type this my house is filled with the smell of Jim.my De.an Sage Sausage that I just browned for my famous dressing (stuffing).  Yes it's famous...among my family at least.  I've got 5lbs of potatoes sitting on my counter waiting to be cut and boiled for mashed potatoes.  And, there is the first stage of Pione.er Woma.n's Pumpkin Cream Pie is chilling in the fridge.  Thanksgiving Day is a mere 11 hours away and I am finding myself so thankful for all of the blessings God has bestowed on me, especially in the last year.

* It was on Thanksgiving just last year that my infertility became known to my family.  It didn't exactly come out in a way I would have chosen but it still came out.  After years of hiding it, it was a relief to feel like I didn't have this huge secret anymore.  After that I felt like so many of my family came together to support me.  Especially my sister S and my Nana.  Sure, there were still hurtful things said, but it was mostly out of ignorance.

* This brings me to something I believe I've said before.  I am thankful for my infertility journey.  It brought me closer to God than I ever could have imagined.  I believe it played a big role in helping me to come to the Catholic Church.  It brought my husband and I closer than ever and taught us so much about each other.

* I am thankful for my sweet little daughter Mary-Grace.  I cannot wait to meet her!  I am reminded everyday as I continue to take my Pro.gesterone that she is a miracle.  I've said it before, Dr. G is in shock that I actually conceived when I did.  My labs were not looking good in the month leading up to her conception.  There is absolutely no reason for this pregnancy other than one of God's many miracles.

* I am thankful for the kicks I am now feeling in my belly.  I have felt tickles since about 13 weeks but hadn't felt a real kick.  I was hoping every day to feel those little feet but didn't have much hope as several of my doctors and ultrasound techs have told me that I have an anterior placenta.  But then on Saturday I finally felt it.  I was at the retreat I mentioned last week when we were asked to go off in silence, alone, for 2 hours and just listen to what God wanted to tell us.  I found a nice shady spot under a tree by a lake.  After about an hour I decided to lie down in the grass.  Not seconds later I felt it, 3 strong kicks.  At first I wasn't sure it was for real so I put my hand on my belly and just waited.  Sure enough, she did it again.  I think she was having a little party in there because it went on for several minutes.  Every day she kicks more and more and K was finally able to feel it on Monday.  The look on his face made my heart melt.

* I'm thankful for my wonderful, amazing, priceless, handsome, strong, caring, sensitive, loving, protective, man of God husband.  Did I use enough adjectives? :)  I knew he was amazing when I met him, but over the past year our relationship has grown to a new level.  A level I never though possible with any other human.

*  I am thankful for a roof over my head.  I tend to complain about our house a lot.  It's small and not what I would choose.  We bought at the top of the boom and we could now buy 3 times the house for what we paid for this one.  Our plan was to only be here for 5 years and then buy a bigger "forever" home.  Unfortunately that is not going to happen.  This upcoming March will be 5 years since K closed and we will definitely be here for several more years.  Like so many we are upside down.  But you know what, we still have it.  With all of the people losing their house to foreclosure we are very fortunate.

* I am thankful that K is getting busy at work again.  He is a Civi.l Engin.eer so his job relies greatly on the housing market.  If people are building he doesn't have work.  In the last two years we have seen his small company of about 100 people go down to about 24.  We were getting very very nervous.  But, it looks as though things are turning up and for that truly thankful.

* I am thankful for my family.  As dysfunctional as they may be they are awesome and crazy and I love them!

* I am so, so, so thankful for my faith.  If you would have asked me when I got married if I though I would convert I would have thought you were nuts.  In fact I would have told you if I had my way K would convert. And boy did I work hard to try to work that one.  Of course that never happened, it only pushed K to grow in his faith and that ultimately helped me to grow in my new found faith.  God sure does have a sense of humor. :)

* I am also so thankful for all of you ladies.  You have truly been a blessing my my life.  You all have made these last several months so much more bearable.

There is so much more that I am thankful for.  I feel so blessed to be living the life that I am.  God has been so good to me, such and undeserving person.

I hope all of you have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving!

Quick Takes

1.  K and I have been working with our youth group at church since about August.  It is very challenging but also very rewarding.  It is a Life Te.en program, which I know has gotten a bad rep, but K and I haven't seen anything like the awful things we heard about them.  To be honest, we have 3 wonderful priests and they would not put up with some of the things I have heard about.  In fact, these teens attend adoration as part of the meeting for 15 to 30 minutes every Sunday and one of our priests join them.  I have heard many comment that adoration is their favorite part of the night.  Love it!

2.  Since our youth is huge (about 200 teens) we have many adults working with them.  Tonight we are all going on a retreat at the new Bethan.y Cent.er here in town.  I've heard it's gorgeous there and can't wait for a nice relaxing evening and Saturday.  K and I are so thankful to have found this wonderful group of adults.  We have been attending our Parish for about 4 years and this is the first group of real friends we have met.  In fact, there is one couple that we found out lives in our neighborhood! (it's a big neighborhood)  This couple just had a baby girl back in January.  I got to talking to the wife (the whole group knows about our infertility) and she told me that she and her husband dealt with infertility for 11 years.  I asked her about doctor H and Napro and she had never heard of it.  I felt terrible.  Maybe she and her husband wouldn't have had to suffer so long had they known.  We have got to get the word out about this!

3.  My skin has drastically begun to change since pregnancy.  I have never had good skin.  NEVER.  I actually think it has been worse as an adult.  It has always been on the oily side with tons of breakouts.  Well, all of a sudden it's getting super dry.  But of course I'm sill having the breakouts.  Any suggestions on what to use.  I'd like something more natural.  It probably should also be oil free due to the breakouts.  I'm also in need of a new kind of makeup.  I've always used a foundation for oily skin.  That's not working so well anymore.  Any suggestions?

4.  We have finally signed up for our Brad.ley Cla.ss.  I can't believe I waited this long.  Unfortunately because of my laziness the next one doesn't start until Januarly 11th and runs through March 29th.  Yup, that puts me past my due date.  I was so ticked off at myself for putting it off.  I've been emailing the woman back and forth and she said she would be happy to meet with K and I privately between classes to make sure we have everything we need before MG is born.  Wahoo!  She's such a wonderful lady.  She suggested a few books in the mean time too.  I'm going to get them tomorrow.  I have no idea if I will actually be able to handle natural labor but I'm sure as heck going to try!  My fear is getting a migraine from the stress during labor.  If that happens all bets are off and I'm sure I'll be begging someone to knock me out.  We shall see.

5.  I've got banana bread baking in the oven right now...smells delish!

6.  I'm feeling pretty darn good today.  After several days of hormone hell and migraines today seems to be a good day.  Knock on wood!  Thank you to this wonderful lady for helping me to realize that I'm not crazy.  I have never met anyone else who knows how I feel and the pain in my head.  She is truly a blessing.

7.  I'm already 22 weeks!  Where is the time going.  Mary-Grace will be here before I know it.  I can't wait to see here sweet face. :)

Sleep Update

So after my little tirade the other morning I decided not to say much else that day about the whole alarm situation.  However, whenever K would ask me how I was feeling I would always reply "tire," hoping he would get the hint.  Then it dawned on my that I'm usually tired so this was nothing unusual.

The next morning the same thing happened.  I nearly reached across K and grabbed his alarm and threw it across the room.  I decided to restrain myself though.  I'm am so not a nice person when my sleep is disturbed.  It's not something I'm proud of but a person needs sleep!

After I finally got back to sleep I got a text from my sister at 7:30am.  This has been happening a lot lately and I've got a whole post about what's going on there but that's for another day.  I nearly chucked my phone across the room.  I decided not to respond to her because I was afraid I wouldn't be nice.

So I got my exhausted tush out of bed and decided that I seriously needed to get grocery shopping done.  It took a few hours but I finally got out of the house.  This is sad, but grocery shopping zapped whatever little energy I had right out of me.  I got home, put things away (well almost everything, there is still a few things on the counter) and plopped my but on the couch feeling like I was going to fall over.

DH called me on his way home so I decided I should attempt to cook dinner.  I had a specific meal in mind that is easy and only takes about 30 minutes in the oven.  I searched through my recipe stash because I couldn't remember exactly how to make it.  Of course I couldn't find it.  I hadn't made in in a really long time so I wasn't 100% positive how to make it.  That's when I lost it.

By the time K got home I was sitting on the kitchen floor sobbing.  No, it never crossed my mind that I should just make something different.  Then I just unloaded on him.  I told him everything that was swimming around in my head.  It was a lot and I want to talk about some of it with you ladies but I'll bring that up another day.  I have a feeling I'm not alone in some of my feelings.  I sobbed for a good hour and K ordered us a pizza.

I was feeling a bit better so I decided to bring up the whole sleep situation.  K can be pretty sensitive.  Sometimes when I bring thins like this up he feels like I'm attacking him.  I made sure to explain that this wasn't an attack but a desperate plea.  I explained that I really needed his help because the lack of sleep is really beginning to take a serious toll on me.  I gave him some ideas that you ladies gave me along with a few that I came up with.

We have decided that he is going to stop drinking caffeine after lunch.  Apparently he has been having a cup or two of coffee at work at around 3ish and he often has a diet coke when he gets home.  He didn't think it was affecting him, and maybe it's not, but it's worth a shot.  He is also no longer setting two alarms.  iRejoice confirmed what I had always thought.  He sets the second alarm to go off awhile after the first one.  He may not realize it but I think it's sort of a crutch.  He knows he doesn't have to get up when the first one goes off ten times because there is another one that will start going off later.  I have also asked him to keep the tone of his alarm the same and at a louder volume.  He uses his phone as his primary alarm and often changes the tone.  I just think that's a bad idea.  I also feel like he doesn't have the volume up loud enough for him to hear.  If he decides to use his actual alarm I asked that it be on a tone rather than the radio.  If all of this doesn't work he is going to put his alarm on his dresser so he actually has to get out of bed to turn it off.

I pray all of this works!  I really, really don't like screaming at him first thing in the morning.  It makes me feel terrible and it's not a good way for either of us to start our day.   I also would really prefer not to sleep in another room.  I enjoy sleeping next to my husband so much.  It makes me feel safe.  But if it comes down to it I will.  I need sleep.  It's not healthy to get so little on a regular basis.

And like Sew mentioned, not all of my sleep issues are pregnancy or husband related.  I know my body is screwy and I have never in my life slept well.  I've definitely got some adrenal and thyroid issues...and more than likely some cortisol issues too.  They are all things I desperately need to get fixed.  When you read Sew's stories about the exhaustion she feels regularly, the pain in her neck and head, the mood swings, foggy head, etc. that is me.  I feel like she is writing about me.  We are hoping that with K's Christmas bonus I will be able to fly to PA to see her saintly doctor.  I hope! I hope! I hope!

Thank you all so much for your wonderful advice.  I was so scared people would think I was bashing K.  I don't ever want people to think that.  I love that man and he puts up with a lot from me. :)

And to let you know...K got up with his alarm the first time it went off this morning.  I had to nudge him so he could hear it but he got right up.  It was glorious!

And Danya, you're right, peeing every two hours isn't normal.  I've actually always been like this.  Before I was pregnant I would get up twice during the night.  I've talked to doctors about it because it seemed a little excessive to me.  They never did find anything wrong.  I'm thinking that the reason is that I don't sleep soundly.  I spend most of the night in this light sleep so I think I just feel it more.  I think when you are in deep sleep you don't feel the urge so much.  It sucks!  I'm hoping that when I get to meet Sew's doc and he helps fix me this will lessen considerably.  :)

HELP! I need sleep!

So I have a little problem.  Actually the problem has been an issue since I got married 4 years ago but I am just now getting to the point where I can't take it anymore. Pregnancy is definitely exacerbating the problem.

I have been having major issues sleeping.  I feel like I just don't sleep soundly, I never have.  In the last few weeks I believe that Mary-Grace has been dancing on my bladder which is making sleeping that much more of an issue.  I'm up about every 2 hours to pee.  To add to that fun it is allergy season and dh unfortunately snores when his allergies are bad.  He takes allergy medicines and uses bre.athe ri.ght strips to help. but it doesn't work to well.  I'm not faulting him for this, he can't help it.  I feel like all of this I can deal with.  There is really no one to blame.  Pregnancy causes you to pee about a million times a day and allergies cause you to snore.

Here is the issue I'm having. Every morning dh's alarm goes off.  He doesn't hear it.  I shake him to wake him up.  He hits the snooze button.  Then it starts all over again.  This goes on for at least an hour every morning.  To make matters worse he doesn't just set one alarm but two and they don't go off at the same time.  So about every 5 minutes or maybe less there is some awful noise for and ENTIRE hour...sometimes longer.

Perhaps if I was getting better sleep at night I would just get up with him.  I know that I would feel like a better wife if I got up and helped him get ready for work...maybe make him breakfast on occasion.  But with my lack of good sleep due to the above mentioned reasons I feel like I just need the sleep.  I am not someone who can function without sleep.  I have major issues with foggy brain and exhaustion as it is.  The lack of sleep is really taking a toll on me.  When I get too little sleep I get migraines.  I know I've described my migraines before and believe me, they aren't pretty.  (I realize that when Mary-Grace comes I will be sleep deprived, but I will deal with that then.)

I have talked with dh about this on numerous occasions over the last several years.  He keeps telling me he can't help it.  He says he just doesn't hear the alarm.  However, I'm not buying it.  DH is a runner and often gets up early on weekends to run or for races.  He never hits the snooze button more than twice.  I realize that it's much more exciting to get up for sport rather than work but something's got to give.

I'm losing my mind here!  It has gotten to the point where I can't go back to sleep between alarm rings because my anxiety level goes way up in anticipation of the next time it will go off.  This morning I may have screamed at dh a bit and I feel terrible for it!  After the alarm had been going off for over an hour I shook him awake and told him I couldn't take it anymore.  I said that between my peeing, his snoring and the stupid alarm I was done!  I told him that I was going to start sleeping in another room.  I told him it was ridiculous and I was sick and tired of it.  I said something about being 29 years old and that he shouldn't need someone to help wake him up.  Yeah, real nice huh?  It wasn't pretty and I am not proud of how I reacted.

I finally got up and went to lay on the couch.  When he came out he apologized.  I told him that one of my huge concerns is what will happen when Mary-Grace comes.  She will be sleeping in our room for some time
(I plan on nursing and I don't want to be deliriously trying to stumble to the other end of the house every 2 hours).  I told him that he can't have the alarm going off like that with a newborn in the room.  I don't want him waking her up every morning.  I explained that I will be sleep deprived enough and would love to sleep when I can.  He said he understood but didn't know what to do to fix it.  He seems to think that when she is here he will just be better at it.  That may be the case but I would like him to work on it now.

I want to be clear that I am definitely not bashing my husband here!  I would never do that.  I am way too fortunate to have him in my life!  I know I'm a lucky girl.  And to be honest, this is really the only major source of contention in our marriage.  I'm looking for help.  I was hoping some of you wonderful ladies would have some advice to help me help him.

I look at the clock every time I get up and I've figured out that I'm lucky if I get 4 hours of sleep each night.  I NEED more.  I'm not a napper or I would try for that during the day.  Any suggestions I could get would be so wonderful!!!

Anatomy Scan Update

We had our anatomy scan yesterday.  I was really nervous going in but had the best tech EVER!  With all of the sonos I have had at this office I had never met this woman.  She was hilarious and quickly made me forget that I was nervous.

She went through each measurement starting with Mary-Grace's head and explained to me what she was doing with each one and how everything looked.  When she got to her heart I could see the 4 chambers so clearly (for some reason her heart is what had me worried).  The tech kept saying she is textbook perfect and so beautiful.  :)  I'm already a proud mama!  Unfortunately thought MG wasn't as cooperative as she was last time (last time I had a little caffeine before I went in and that helped wake her up) so we had trouble getting really clear views of her...especially in the 4d.  The first thing the tech noticed was how long her toes were.  She gets that from me. :)  Then I noticed how long her little fingers were.  She get's that from her mama too. :)  We didn't get a clear view of her face this time because she kept covering it with her hands.  She may be a little camera shy like me too.  I did get to see her suck her thumb though and that was too cute!  She is measuring about 3 days ahead of schedule which shocked me with the lack of food I've consumed.  It just seems crazy that she could possibly be growing that much.  She is already 10 inches from head to little booty and weighs 1 pound.  One pound already!

It's so crazy to me that she is going to look a little like me and a little like K.  It just baffles my mind.  I guess I hadn't really thought about that until I saw that she had my hands.  Her feet are a little bit of both of us because it looks like her second toe is longer than her first which is a trait of K.  I can't wait to see her sweet little face and see whose nose and eyes and lips she has.  It feels like March is so far away but it really isn't.  Only 4 more months.  That is just insane!  I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around all of it.

I have another 4d sono on December 14th.  Hopefully we'll get a good picture of her then.  If not the tech said I can come back every week until we get her to cooperate. Did I mention how much I love her?

I also got to meet with a new doctor.  Well, she isn't new to the practice, I just hadn't met her yet.  Can I just say that I love her!!!  She was awesome!  She made me feel comfortable and answered all of my questions without acting like she was in a rush.  She was funny and actually engaged  K in our conversations,.  I was so happy to finally find a doctor at this practice that I finally liked.  I have been so discouraged up until this point.  Now I just have to pray that she is on call the day I go into labor. :)  On can hope can't she?

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I've been doing some searching around online for different baby things.  I came across two things that I can't wait to order.

First is her baptism gown found here.  I have searched high and low and this one is by far my favorite!  This price tag is nice too!

The second thing is this totally amazing baby book found here.  They are a bit pricey for baby books but I just fell in love with them.  They just seem a bit more special than the typical one that you see.  I'm big on journaling and record keeping so this is right up my ally. :)

You know...I always struggle with ending a post.  I'm just not creative or witty enough and most of my post are just streams of thought anyway.  So...I'll just end by saying, have a wonderful rest of the day and you are all always in my prayers!

An update of sorts...

I feel like I've been a super bad blogger lately.  I haven't posted much and I certainly haven't been commenting much.  I don't know what my deal is lately.  Stress I guess.  And perhaps a little bit of mush for brains.

I figure I should update a little.  This is sort of going to be in quick take form because that seems to be the easiest way to do it...and I'm pretty lazy lately. ;)

I am 20 weeks and 5 days today.  Seriously?  When the heck did that happen.  Feels like just yesterday I was contemplating whether or not that second pink line was a result of the HCG injections or if it was for real.  I just cannot believe that I am half way there already.  It still seems so surreal.  And no, I still haven't taken a bump picture.  I'm so mad at myself for not doing that at all.  All of those years of praying for a baby I would think about taking a picture every week.  So much for that idea.  As silly as this sounds I blame it on poor self image.  I've been having a really hard time and feeling a lot like an ompa lumpa.  I've always struggled with body image so I'm not totally surprised that it's still bothering me now.  It doesn't seem to matter how much dh tells me how beautiful I am I just struggle to see it myself.  I'm working on it though.  DH and I are going to go see a movie this weekend and have a nice dinner out.  Since I'll be dressed nicer than I usually am I think I'll get him to take a picture.  Maybe I'll have someone take one of the two of us so I don't feel so insecure.  I am definitely more comfortable when I am not the only one in a photo.  I promise to post it as soon as I get it.

We have our anatomy scan tomorrow.  I'm excited to get to see Mary-Grace again but also nervous.  I get a bit nervous before every ultrasound but this one seems to be bothering me more.  At our 17 week scan the tech did a few measurements and said she was looking good so far so you would think I would be doing ok.  I really have no real reason to worry.  I'm just a worrier by nature.  I'm really trying to work on that.

Our neighborhood had a community garage sale this weekend.  DH and I have been cleaning out the room that is going to be Mary-Grace's room and decided to try to sell a few things.  It ended up working great!  We sold a bunch of old stuff and came out a few hundred dollars richer.  We plan on putting it towards furniture for her room.  Funny thing about the room we cleaned out is that we never actually had it set up as anything.  It was sort of a storage room.  When we first got married I knew right away it would be the nursery so I just figured why do anything with it to just have to change it.  Seemed like a waste of time and money.  Four years later and it just turned into the junk room.  Anything we didn't know what to do with just sort of landed there.  Including boxes on mine and K's that we never opened after moving in.  I've decided that all the stuff that didn't sell is going to Good.will this week.  It feels so good to get rid of all the old junk that never found a place here.  Next up.  Cleaning out the garage.  It has about 10 boxes of mine from when I moved here that never got opened.  I was considering just throwing them away without even opening them but was a little worried there might be some pictures in some of them.

I'm finally getting into the swing of this whole stay at home wife thing.  I felt like such a lazy brat at first.  I was just so sick for so long that I didn't do anything.  Not that I've ever been good at keeping a house.  I've always wanted to be but it's just not my thing.  I just always felt overwhelmed and didn't know where to start.  This usually ended up in me getting frustrated and just not doing anything.  It really was pathetic.  However in the last week I've sort of got this itch to get this house in order.  I'm going to definitely say it's nesting.  I even typed out a spreadsheet on Exce.l with the things that need to be done and on what day of the week I will be doing them.  My thinking is that if I do a little everyday it won't run away from me.  Now if I can just stick with it.

My wonderful best friend S is engaged to this wonderful man J.  I'm so insanely happy for them.  They got engaged last May after 4 years of dating and living together and buying a house together (no I do not approve of this but she still is my dearest friend).  Anyhoo.  Her fiance's parent's have a timeshare in Orlando that we got to use for 2 nights last December.  S, J, K and I went for the weekend of my birthday and had an absolute blast.  The timeshare was beautiful and S always knows how to make sure I have a good time.  We went to Mickey's Ver.y Me.rry Christ.mas on Friday night (it's where you go to Disne.y from 7pm until I believe Midnight and it's all Christmas themed and wonderful!).  The next day dh and I went to Ep.cot for my birthday.  Last year Flori.da residents got in free on their actual birthday and mine happened to land on a Saturday.  PERFECT!  We had a blast!  They gave me a birthday pin to wear on my shirt and everywhere we went all of the cast members were telling me happy birthday (yes, I'm a 5 year old and this makes me super happy).  K and I also got a lot of free stuff (food, drinks, and such) as well as bypassing long lines.  It was just a lot of fun.  Well, S called me yesterday and told me that they were getting the timeshare for 3 nights this year the weekend of my birthday and wanted to know if we wanted to go again.  SUPER!  We are definitely a lot lighter in the funds department this year with me no longer working but I think we can swing going to Mick.ey's Ver.y Mer.ry Chri.stmas.  The tickets are cheaper than a regular days admission which is now $81.  Seriously?  $81/ person is ridiculous!  I am so unbelievably excited for this little mini vacation.  And I am so happy to have such a wonderful friend who things of me for these sorts of things.  It would be so easy for her just to go with her fiance.  I'm sure they would like a nice weekend to themselves but she always thinks of me.  She is even coming up with some sort of non-alcoholic sparkly drink for me to toast my birthday with since champagne, which is our birthday tradition, is obviously out of the question this year. :)

K and I at dinner for my birthday last year.

S and J at that same birthday dinner.

Okidokie.  I think that will be it for now.  I have a post in mind that I will hopefully get to tomorrow after my appointment.  TaTa for now!

Mary-Grace Pictures and Nursery Idea

I'm FINALLY getting around to posting the 3D/4D ultrasound pictures of Mary-Grace that we had done on October 13th.  The tech printed us about 30 pictures!  But don't worry I won't post them all.  She did both 3D/4D as well as the regular ones and some of the 4D ones were printed in black and white.  She said that at 16 weeks babies don't have a lot of fat on them.  Especially considering how little food I have kept down this pregnancy.  So little Mary-Grace looks pretty skinny. :)  She's cute though.  I actually like some of the regular pictures better.  Probably because they are easier to see with her slim figure. :)  She said that when I go back for the anatomy scan on November 9th she'll also do the 4D again so we can see the difference.  Wahoo!  Any chance I get to see that sweet little face is a good day in my book!

She had her little hands up by her face the whole time.

B&W 4D _ Look at those skinny little legs!  This will not stay!  Skinny legs is not a trait of either myself or her daddy!

Look at that sweet little hand!  She wasn't waving hi to us though.  I think she was waving us off so we would leave her alone.  She's definitely related to her mama and doesn't like her sleep disturbed.

Her profile looks like my sister here.  My sister is a beauty!

She was so funny in the ultrasound!  The tech was able to see that she was in fact a she in about 2.5 seconds.  It was very obvious!  MG is not shy!  I'll spare her future embarrassment and won't be posting her girly bits.  The entire time we were doing the ultrasound she kept trying to hider her face in her hands.  She was moving all over the place and the tech had a hard time keeping up with her.  After about 15 minutes she was just done.  We had disturbed her sleep and she had had enough.  She sunk down really low and curled up into a little ball.  The tech shook my belly to wake her up and she put her foot up like she was trying to kick the probe thing.  I laughed so hard that I could see her shaking from my laughter on the screen.  She is just like her mama!  Stubborn and does not like being messed with when we are sleeping!  I can't wait for the next ultrasound so we can see the difference.  I have a feeling she will look like dh but with my darker hair and eyes.  We shall see.

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I have been agonizing over bedding for this little girl.  I don't know why but it has been causing major stress.  I actually started before we knew she was a girl looking for girl bedding.  I was so certain she was.  I wanted something that was appropriate for a nursery but wasn't too babyish.  I had an idea in my head but couldn't seem to find anything like what I had dreamed up.  I tend to do that a lot!  Then today I was searching once again and I finally found it!  It is not what I was originally thinking but it works and it definitely isn't too babyish.

It's from La.nd Of N.od.  I love love love it!!!

I'm still in utter shock of this whole thing.  I don't know that I will ever believe that this is actually happening.  I'll be 19 weeks tomorrow.  19 weeks!  Almost half way there.  I just cannot believe it.  I feel so unworthy.  I'm finally able to keep food down.  I haven't thrown up in a week!  Woohoo!  I'm still nauseous most of the day but at least the food is staying down.  After spending 18 weeks throwing up 10+ times a day any improvement is huge!  I'm still on my progesterone pills although my doctor thinks I'm not.  I hated lying to them but they wouldn't hear my side of it.  I know I need the progesterone and PPVI is monitoring it.  I just don't feel comfortable stopping it until Dr. H says I can.  I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to her because I stopped taking it.  Besides, I figure out pretty quickly that although my doctors are considered to be the best in town they are morons.  I know that sounds harsh, but they are.  I have decided to look at them as baby catchers.  That's pretty much all they will do on the day of delivery.  It's not like the doctor is the one with you during labor.

I'm definitely starting to look really pregnant.  I have been showing for awhile but I think I've sort of popped in the last week or so.  Sadly I haven't taken any pictures yet.  I'm kind of angry with myself for that.  I'm going to get dh to take a pic of me this week and will post then.

Four years ago today...

...I married my best friend.

At times I cannot believe that it has been 4 years.  At other times I feel like it has been a life time.

There is a country song out there by Brad Paisley called "I thought I Loved You Then."  Song gets me every time.  It is basically about the different stages of a couples life (dating, engagement, marriage, etc.).  After each description of time he says "And I thought I loved you then."  I feel like this perfectly describes our relationship.

DH and I dated for 4.5 years before we were engaged.  The day he proposed is forever etched in my mind.  I remember standing there and realizing what was happening and thinking there is no way I could possibly love him more than I do at this moment.  But on our wedding day I found our I was wrong.  Standing at the back of the church looking down the isle we locked eyes and my heart grew tenfold.  I thought I loved him more at that moment than was ever possible.  Then the truth of our infertility set in.  It didn't take long after realizing this was going to be a long journey that I realized I loved him even more.  The way he comforted me day after day, month after month, year after year just amazed me.  Last May when I finally told dh that I wanted to convert his reaction made my heart swell once more.  It was something that definitely drew us closer than anything had before.  It was a way of uniting us even deeper.

Then came the day that I finally saw those 2 pink lines.  My heart nearly burst.  I ran to dh who was standing in the kitchen.  I had tears streaming down my face and I couldn't speak.  I was in utter shock and amazement.  I just held the test up to show him.  He looked at me and all he said was "I love you." He grabbed me as my knees nearly buckled underneath me and we just stood there sobbing and hugging.  At that moment my heart grew once more as I realized my love for him was growing even deeper.  That very night was the first day I received my first Communion. Our priest had dh come up with me and receive at the same time.  He told us to remember that back before wedding ceremonies couples would be united in marriage by simply coming to the priest to receive communion together.  He said that this day was a day that would join us together in a deeper way that we could have ever imagined.  He was right.

On this day last year we went to a Mass in a neighboring town that was being said for all couples dealing with infertility.  On the day that we married I never thought that that was how we would spend on of our anniversaries.  As I knelt during Mass I prayed so hard that God would give us a baby to hold.  I had no idea that that gift would be given to us so soon.  After I found out I was pregnant Dr. H and Dr. G were both surprised to hear it.  Dr. H wasn't hopeful with my hormone levels and was waiting for me to come up for surgery.

It is so hard to imagine that this time next year sweet Mary-Grace will be here in our arms.  I will forever be grateful to our Lord for the abundant gifts he has bestowed upon my husband and I.  I truly feel unworthy.

Now that I am crying I think I will leave you with a note to my dh and some pictures. :)

K, I love you more today than I did yesterday and I know that love will only continue to grow.  The journey we have been on over the last 4 years has not been as we expected but I would not trade a minute of it for the world.  Thank you for making these years the best of my life.  I cannot wait to see what the rest of our life has in store for us.  We now know that sometimes things aren't easy, but together we can make it through anything.  I love you from the bottom of my heart.  Pinky Swear!  :)

Sanibel Island where he proposed.

A reenactment of our first kiss seeing as how our photographer, who was terrible, didn't take the picture of the actual kiss.

First Dance

Our FABULOUS!  Honeymoon Cruise!