Quick Takes

1.  I've been trying to get a post up about what really makes home births awesome...all the stuff that happens after baby is born...but haven't been able to finish it.  Partially because I'm crazy busy with a toddler (I can't believe she's a toddler) who has just started walking and currently teething 4 molars, and a newborn who doesn't sleep and doesn't nap, and partially because my brain is absolute mush.  Hannah is now 10 weeks old so I guess I need to get on that.

2.  I mentioned it above, but we have a walker!  Mary-Grace is a little over 14 months now.  Shes been cruising on furniture since about 10ish months.  At almost 13 months she started getting much braver.  At about 13.5 months she began taking steps, lots of them, but would alternate between that and crawling.  Then all of a sudden about 2 weeks ago she just took off.  She is walking all over my house.  It is so weird to be in my room and have her just come walking in.  The only downside, she no longer wants to be in her stroller or in a grocery cart.  Having Hannah means I can't always chase after her in public so strollers and carts are a must.  Grocery shopping has become very interesting lately.

3.  My cycles have already returned.  Seriously?  I breastfeed around the clock.  Same thing happened last time.  I was really hoping to get a break because they are still super screwy and super painful.  To make it even more fun I had pp bleeding until almost 9 weeks after Hannah was born.  I got a one day break and then CD1.  At least last time I got like 2 weeks.  I don't want to be one of those women who don't have cycles for over a year, but a few months would have been nice.

4.  I'm trying to think of activities for Mary-Grace to do while I'm busy feeding Hannah.  It seems that as soon as I sit down to feed her she is into something.  She usually heads to the pantry and yanks anything that is in her reach off the shelf.  Keeping the door closed all the time isn't an option because it gets super hot in there (the builders forgot the air vent) and I can't remove everything in her reach because we need the storage.  She also uses this opportunity to go running headfirst into walls, tables, etc.  I need some easy ideas to keep her entertained for 15-20 minutes.  Do you have any?

5.  I have decided that we are in desperate need of a vacation.  We took a long weekend to Disney last fall for our anniversary but I feel the need to get to the beach.  I am dying to spend a few days laying in the sand listening to the ocean.  Our favorite beach is only about 2 1/2 to 3 hours from here but it can be pricy to stay there (it's an island).  We have got to find a way to work in a vacation savings into our budget.  We haven't taken a real vacation in over 2 years.  I know that doesn't sound like long but we love to travel and I'm getting cabin fever really bad.  Besides, that vacation was to the mountains and I'm needing the beach.  It's been 4 years since we've done that.  I find that pathetic considering the state I live in.

6.  I know this may sound strange to most people, but at 14 months old we still haven't left Mary-Grace with anyone.  It started out because I was breastfeeding and despite my crazy oversupply of milk I don't respond well to a pump.  Sure I could pump enough for a few bottles but the time and effort just wasn't worth it to me.  Then I realized that I just had no desire to leave her anywhere and neither did K.  We have been together for 11 years now.  We have had 11 years of alone time and get alone time every night when she goes to bed.  We really enjoy just taking her with us wherever we go.  I'll be honest, some of it is due to my crazy anxiety as well.  It honestly gives me a panic feeling when I think about someone else watching her.  But really it doesn't matter what my reason is for not leaving her with others.  They are my reasons, and K's reasons and that's that.  I have left her with K, but only for an hour or at most two.  He's also taken her with him for an hour or two to go wherever, but that's it.  Anyway, the point is that last weekend I was chewed out and made to feel guilty because I told a family member she couldn't come pick Mary-Grace up for the day.  What frustrated me to start with is that she didn't ask me she just told me she was going to come buy one day during the week and take her for the day.  Then when I told her no, that she was welcome to come over and spend the day with us, but that I wasn't ready to let her go for the day, she started going on and on about how I need to get over it and that Mary-Grace is never going to know her.  She said that she used to take us places when we were kids and she never harmed us, yadda, yadda, yadda.  I apologized and explained that it was a lot in part to my anxiety.  She didn't care though and stormed off.  K and I talked about it later and he agreed with me that he didn't like the idea of this person (or anyone else really) taking her somewhere.  We agreed that we would be more comfortable with our children going somewhere with others when she can communicate better.  We also talked about how the first time we leave our children we would prefer that it be in our own home with someone here to watch her.  I know I'm a bit over protective, but as for right now this is working for us.  I haven't seen a movies since before I was pregnant with Mary-Grace, I'm ok with that.  I haven't had a pedicure or gone anywhere alone in 14 months, I'm ok with that.  My husband and I haven't been on a "date" alone in 14 months, we both really are ok with that.  Up until my little non-sleeper Hannah was born 2 months ago we had a date every evening after Mary-Grace went to bed.  Dates in our house are much nicer to the wallet anyway.  Our favorite bottle of wine isn't expensive at all. :)

7.  Speaking of oversupply (I mentioned it in the jumble above)...it SUCKS!  I mean seriously!  I remember before Mary-Grace was born worrying if I would have enough milk.  Forget having enough!  I have enough to feed a darn village!  I had the same problem with Mary-Grace but it seems to be 10X's worse this time.  I leak everywhere constantly.  I have to tuck a hand towel into the flap part of my nursing tanks when I feed Hannah because milk spills everywhere while she eats.  I also have to keep a separate towel or burp cloth in my hand so that when my milk lets down I can pull her off and catch it in the towel.  If I don't she chokes to the point where she can't breathe.  She is constantly stuffy and congested because of all the milk she sucks up and no amount of suctioning her nose helps.  I have started feeding her on the same side for at least 3 feedings before switching sides.  She wasn't getting nearly enough of the good, fatty, hindmilk before.  She's definitely getting that this way, I can tell when by the third feeding she finally gets that "milk drunk" look and falls asleep, but it isn't helping with the forcefulness of my let down.  It's not a huge deal at home, however it makes nursing in public really difficult.  It's very hard to be discreet when you have a baby flailing around and choking because your milk shoots out like a dang fire hose.  Hannah also can't comfort nurse because there is no such thing as nursing without much milk coming out when it involves me.  This happened with Mary-Grace too so I ended up giving her a paci.  Hannah however, wants nothing to do with a paci.  This makes for a very ticked off baby in the evenings when shes had enough to eat but just wants to nurse to sleep.  I've read that you can take very small amounts of Benedryl to decrease you supply slightly but I'm scared to do that.  I really wish Mary-Grace would have taken up nursing again after Hannah was born.  I could have used her to nurse right before feeding Hannah to help with the let down.  Does that sound horrible?  Like I'm using my first baby?