Not the post I planned...but this works too.

I had actually begun writing a post about Christmas when my wonderful laptop that is on it's last leg decided to crash and erase everything.  I've decided to take that as a hint and not write the post.  Not now anyway.  Unfortunately it wasn't exactly your typical joyful Christmas post.  Let's just say that this year was filled with entirely too much drama which lead to disappointment.  It's sad, but it's true.  Maybe I'll write about it later on, when I'm not so frustrated.  I could certainly use some advice on how to deal with some of these issues.

So instead I'm going to give you a little pregnancy update.  A lot has really changed in the last couple of weeks.  Just a bit of a disclaimer before I start.  Some of this may seem like complaining.  Believe me I'm not complaining.  I'm just being real and honest about what's going on and how I feel.  I am very thankful that I'm getting to experience this...even if some of it isn't so comfortable.  In fact, a lot of these symptoms have helped this to feel even more real.  Because, well, even at 28 weeks (tomorrow), there are still days that I don't actually believe that I'm pregnant...and that there will be a baby in my arms in 12ish weeks...despite my belly that is growing out of control!

Speaking of the belly.  Wow has it grown!  I need to take another picture.  It's like I woke up one day and it was twice what it was the day before.  It's getting pretty sore feeling.  It's like I can feel my muscles stretching apart.  I've been slathering my belly, hips, and lower back with a lemon and vitamin E oil everyday.  Not necessarily to try to prevent the dreaded stretch mark (from what I understand those are more genetic than anything...and so far I don't have any) but more for the itching.  It really seems to be making a difference.  On the nights I forget my tummy sort of feels sunburned.  You know that itchy feeling a sunburn gives you.  Apparently it was so itchy the other night that I scratched in my sleep until I broke skin.  Not very pretty.

Sleep has been super hard to come by.  I just can't seem to get comfortable.  I had just been using my regular two pillows (one under my head and one behind my back) and added a body pillow I got from Tar.get for cheap.  But that just wasn't cutting it anymore.  I finally broke down and bought a Boppy Total Body Pillow.  Oh my, what a difference!  I love this pillow!  I have slept a lot better since buying it last week.  Definitely worth the $50!

I feel like my body is breaking into a million pieces most of the time.  Everything hurts.  I has some serious restless leg and some major leg cramps.  I have never felt leg craps like this.  OUCH!  They wake me up a lot during the night.  My hips are super sore and so is my lower back.  I'm still having some sciatic issues that make it difficult to walk sometimes.  K laughs at me because I look like an 80 year old woman hobbling along.  It really is a funny sight.  To top it off, my feet and ankles are so swollen!  I have always had nice skinny feel and ankles...now I have cankles.  It's really silly looking.  None of my shoes fit.  I bought some flip flops several weeks back that were a little bigger, however, they aren't cutting it in our unseasonably cold Florida December.  I've been on the search for new shoes but haven't had much luck.  Sneakers seem to be my friend lately, although they don't fit so well either.

One of my doctors mentioned to me at my 17 week appointment that I have a very very short torso.  At that time he said my uterus should be measuring a few inches above my belly button.  However, I was already measuring up to about an inch below my bust line.  I was measuring perfectly for the week that I was it was just higher up than it is on most women.  He said this would make things a bit more uncomfortable as time went on.  He said I would experience some things a bit earlier than a lot of women do.  Well, he wasn't kidding!  I CANNOT BREATHE!  I feel like my lungs have been squished down to nothing.  It is not fun at all.  I feel like I'm out of breath all the time.  And, sweet little Mary-Grace, is loving to sick her feet up there making is oh so much more uncomfortable.

This same short torso issue also seems to be squishing my stomach.  I am starving all of the time but can't seem to eat more than a very small amount.  It's extremely painful if I do.

I'm emotional wreck most of the time.  I cry over everything, happy and sad.  I cried over hashbrown casserole on my birthday.  That's pretty sad.  I cry over commercials and tv shows.  I cry just thinking about things.  I've always been pretty emotional but this is pretty crazy, even for me.  I had a meltdown over crib bedding last night that was ridiculous.  When I'm not crying I find it all pretty funny.

Headaches and Migraines are still the norm for me.  It's pretty much a daily thing.  But, that's pretty much been my life for years.  It's just a little harder to deal with being pregnant since I can't take any of the good drugs.

On the plus side.  I haven't really had any heartburn issues at all.  Knock On Wood!  I think I've gotten it a handful of times.  Not too shabby seeing as how I've heard horror stories.  I've also had no constipation issues.  I've heard that can be terrible too.  I'm very thankful for that!

Mary-Grace is moving more and more everyday.  It seems to be constant and my doctors always comment on how crazy active she is.  Her kicks and jabs get stronger and stronger and can even be pretty uncomfortable at times.  I swear she's doing acrobatics in there.  I like to lay down, flat on my back, and just watch her move.  It's so much fun!

I find myself getting more and more anxious everyday to meet her.  I just want to see her face.  I'm not scared of labor at all (not yet anyway).  Whatever it takes to get here into my arms.  I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that in less than 3 months there will be a baby in this house.  In my house!  A baby?  It just doesn't make sense.

My baby shower is in just a few weeks on January 22nd.  MY BABY SHOWER!  How is that even possible?  How am I actually going to a baby shower that is for me?  I have longed for the day to go to my own shower.  I'm excited about it but also nervous.  I can't pinpoint the reason why it's making me nervous, it just is.  But I also feel so blessed.  This is all a dream come true.