Quick Takes

1.  Thank you all again for all of your prayers.  It has been a week since Nana passed and 2 weeks since the stroke.  Her obituary is in the paper today.  I helped write it but am not happy with it now that I'm reading it.  I wish we would have made it more personal and included "Nana" somewhere in it.  When Granddaddy and I sat down to write it we both cried through the whole thing making it hard to think.  I guess nothing we can do about that now.  I'm not going to say I'm feeling better, because I'm not.  But I will say that I seem to be crying a little less.  I went to a meeting with the other leaders for our youth last night to plan the semester and I actually laughed a lot.  I enjoyed myself.  I also went wedding dress shopping with my best friend yesterday.  I really enjoyed myself!  It was a wonderful distraction!

2.  K made an appointment for me with one of our wonderful priests, Fr. Carlos, for Tuesday.  Father Carlos is fairly new to our parish but K and I really love him.  He is AMAZING.  We have developed a great relationship with him.  I was telling K a few days back how I feel like I just need to talk to someone.  I'm struggling with some things and with Nana's passing everything seems to be getting worse.  I've been feeling for a long time like maybe I'm a bad person or did something wrong.  My whole life has been full of tragedy and heartbreak.  There seems to always be something and it's never something little.  K said he completely understands why I feel that way seeing everything I have been through.  He said he often feels guilty because nothing bad ever seems to happen to him while everything happens to me.  He thought talking to Fr. Carlos would be good for me...he is also a certified or trained or whatever you call it spiritual director.  I'm hoping he can help.  I'm really really nervous though.  I'm not so good at sharing my feeling with people, especially face to face.  I have always been someone who holds everything in until I just explode.  I think that's why you ladies have been so good for me.  I seem to tell you a lot.  Lucky you. :)

3.My baby shower is in a week!  A week!  My baby shower!  I never thought I would get to attend a baby shower that was actually for me.  I know it's going to be bittersweet with Nana not being there, but I'm sure she'll be watching.  She was so excited for it.  There is going to be nearly 40 people there so that should be a huge distraction.  I'm just hoping everyone doesn't keep asking me how I'm doing regarding Nana.  I don't want to crumble in front of everyone.  Hopefully people realize that it's not the time or the place.  My Aunt E (Nana's daughter) said she probably won't make it.  I know it's hard for her too but I'm really hoping she is there.  It would really mean a lot.  I have very few women in my family and it would be nice if some of them were actually there.  It's going to be all K's family and a few friends.  I've been praying for her, I hope she feels well enough to be there.

4. I never updated on my appointment with the endocrinologist.  It went ok, I guess.  He said that I'm definitely hyper for right now but that that often happens to women in pregnancy.  They aren't sure why.  The thing is that there isn't much they can do to treat that that is safe for Mary-Grace so he'd rather just monitor it for now.  He said it will resolve itself once she is born.  However, he is thinking, based on everything I told him about my past that I probably have Hash.imoto's Thy.roiditis.  He wants and ultrasound on my thyroid as well as a thyroid antibody test.  Ha!  A thyroid test I've actually never had done!  Is it sad that I'm actually hoping that I have this issue?  At least it would be a diagnosis and I could finally get some treatment!

5.  I'm now 30 weeks pregnant!  I know I say this every time, but I cannot believe it!  Only 10 more weeks.  And in 7 I'm considered full term!  Only 7!  This all just baffles my mind.  I'm sure it's going to fly by and she'll be here before I know it.  I can't wait to hold her in my arms and kiss her little face.  I keep trying to imagine what she will look like.  It's pretty much impossible.

6.  We started our Brad.ley classes on Tuesday.  I know, I know, we are really late with that one.  The class actually runs past my due date but the instructor agreed to meet with us on additional days to make sure we get everything.  I really love our instructor!  She's a little crunchy, but very nice.  She is also a doula, which I still need to hire.  K and I are thinking about talking to her.  I need to get on the ball!

7.  I think I'm starting to get to that really uncomfortable part of pregnancy.  I thought I was uncomfortable a few weeks ago.  Sheesh!  I can't imagine how bad it's going to be over the next 10 weeks or so.  She is head down and keeps using my bladder as a pillow.  It's getting increasingly hard to make it to the bathroom.  I'm waiting for the day I pee on myself.  I'm not above de.pends y'all!  I will buy them if that happens. :)  When she moves sometimes it feels like she is grinding on my hip bones.  I think you can actually hear it.  It's very weird.  She was too long for my body at 17 weeks...now it's just getting crazy.  I CANNOT BREATHE!  It's pretty scary at times.  I think I'm starting to waddle.  I always said I wouldn't waddle, but I can't help it.  My hips and back are killing me.  I guess it just comes with the territory.  Braxt.on Hick.s are picking up and becoming more and more noticeable.  Sometime sit scares me because they occasionally accompanied by some pain in my lower abdomen and my back.  But nothing is patterned so I have to remind myself that it's normal.  I don't want to be "that girl" at my doctor's office. :)

Thanks again for all of your prayers.  Any prayers you could continue to offer my family would be much appreciated.  I know they are helping.  And I promise, I'm still reading all of your blogs, I just haven't had it in me to comment.  I promise, I'll get back into it asap!