An Update and a Question

Wow!  I've been MIA for a long time!  I'm not sure what my excuse is...other than pure exhaustion.  Between insomnia and MG still waking up a few times at night I feel like I'm going to fall over.

I'm 12 weeks along today.  I find that hard to believe.  I still haven't totally grasped the fact that I'm pregnant again.  This pregnancy is definitely a lot different.  For one thing I don't feel like I dwell on it as much as I did with MG.  I think that is mostly because I don't have time to think about it.  My days are filled with entertaining a demanding 5 month old who doesn't nap and doesn't like to be put down.  I'm also not nearly as sick as I was with Peanut.  With her I could barely stand up without having to run to the bathroom.  I got dehydrated and had to be put on zo.fr.an to help me keep food down.  This time around I have spurts of nausea but that's really it.  I think I've only thrown up twice and that was several weeks ago.  I am thanking God everyday for not being as sick as I was before.  That was a huge fear of mine when I found out I was pregnant.  How in the world was I going to take care of an infant being that sick.  Fortunately that has not been the case.

I had my first appointment back at the beginning of August (my next one is next Tuesday).  It went really really well.  I was nervous going in.  I was expecting some rude comments about this being too soon and that it's not healthy or something like that.  I got none of it.  I was fortunate to be able to see my favorite doctor Dr. F.  I love him.  He did chuckle seeing me.  He is the doctor I saw for my 6 week follow up.  He was super nice and very happy for K and I.  He loves MG and spent some extra time with our appointment playing with her.  We got to haven an ultrasound and saw our little bean on the screen.  Super cute if you ask me.  I was happy to have K and MG there with me.  We met with the Patient Care Coordinator.  She has two children who are a week over a year apart.  She said that she loves it.  She said the first 6 weeks were really hard but after that it got easier.  It was nice talking to someone with a similar experience.  I'm going to be honest here.  While I am so happy to have this opportunity again I am terrified.  The thought of having a baby who isn't quite 1 and an infant is very daunting.  I have moments of panic and moments of guilt.  Sometimes I feel like it's not fair to MG ( I realize that is a ridiculous feeling).  I think I'm just worried about how I'm going to handle it all.  I didn't mention this on here but after MG was born I began having trouble with PPD. I was just finally beginning to seek treatment when I found out I was pregnant again.  I'm scared of it being worse next time around.  I'm scared because I really don't have any help once K goes back to work.

So while this pregnancy is better in the sense that I'm not so sick it definitely hasn't been smooth sailing.  They checked my thyroid at my first appointment.  I appear to be hyper again.  This happened to me with MG.  I went to the specialist and since I was nearing the end he decided not to treat until after she was born.  Well I never went back and now I'm having issues again.  I'm working on getting back in to see him.  Its hard though toting a 5 month with you for long doctor appointments.  I need it fixed though.  I've been cloudier than ever and can't seem to think at all.  I also haven't gained any weight...actually I've lost.  I would expect that if I was sick but since I'm not I find that strange.  The same thing happened at the end of my pregnancy with MG.

I'm also starting to have milk supply issues.  While I still have enough to feed MG everyday it seems to be just enough.  She used to be satisfied after only eating on one side.  Now I definitely have to feed her on both.  I've been trying to pump but I don't get much with that.  It's not so much that there isn't any milk to pump but more because my body hates the pump.  This is definitely where my guilt comes in. I really wanted to feed MG breastmilk until she was at least a year.  I'm not sure I will be able to for another 6 1/2 months.  If it's already decreasing I can't imagine that it will last until her first birthday.  It makes me very sad.  I love nursing her.  I have never been one to think that formula is "evil."  It absolutely serves a purpose.  However, I would much rather not have to give MG any.  I don't like some of the ingredients, I hate the smell, and I can't stand how expensive it is.  Our budget is already tight enough without that added expense.  I've looked into a milk bank but that is way out of my price range.  I feel horrible putting a cost on things like this but we just can't afford it.  I'm not really sure what do do.  Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

So now for my question...

In a few weeks we'll be starting MG on solids.  We'll start her on things like sweet potatoes, avacado, bananas, etc.  We will do one food every 4 days to make sure there are no allergies.  I've been reading many many websites on the topic but I'm overwhelmed.  How often do I feed her solids and for how long?  When do I increase?  I see that a lot of people feed their little ones yogurt.  Is that ok?  I thought you weren't supposed to do dairy until a year.  Any information or direction any of you can provide would be wonderful.  I'm so lost! :)

If you made it through all of this mess you deserve a cookie.  :)  Have a wonderfully blessed day!