Friday, February 12, 2010

God Has A Plan For Me...

"We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will be."  -C.S. Lewis

I think that may pretty much sum it up.  I have no doubt in my mind that God knows what is best for me...or that he has a plan for my life.  I don't question that.  What I do wonder and think about often, is whether or not I will be able to accept what his plan it.  That is the struggle in my life...acceptance.

I guess I should tell you a little about me.  I'm a 27-year-old wife, daughter, sister, granddaughter,niece, aunt, and friend.  I cherish each one of those rolls in my life.  However, i feel like I am missing the biggest roll in life, the roll of mother.  For as long as I can remember I have dreamed of only two things...to be a wife and to be a mother.  I have accomplished the first and now I just hold out and try to wait patiently for the second.

We are not still totally 100% sure of the cause of my infertility.  We, along with doctors are leaning towards a combo of things...endometriosis, low progesterone, etc.  My long story will be best for another day.  It's been a very emotional and stressful few years.  They have been filled with hope, despair, frustration, anger, and lots and lots of tears.  I'm hoping that this blog will serve as an outlet for me.  Somewhere I can vent and maybe meet other women who are going through the same thing.

So this is my journey.  The journey I share with my husband as we navigate through infertility trying to trust in God's plan.  Treating it the natural way, because infertility is a disease and children are a gift from God.