I went to see her in the hospital last night and it wasn't good. I've never seen her like that before and it broke my heart. My grandmother does have some health issues but they are all physical. Mentally she is totally with it. However last night she was not. She had an extremely high fever and they believe she has pneumonia. She also had a very irregular heart beat that was really fast. Combine that with all of her other health concerns (diabetes, copd, chf) and it was not good. I have never seen her the way she looked yesterday. She was very confused and combative. My aunt did call me today to say that she was doing much much better and has no memory of yesterday. They are not releasing her because she is still having the rapid irregular heart beat. So you if you could still pray for that I would be so greatfull!
So in cycle news...
I took my last hcg shot yesterday on p+9. Since starting the hcg I have been having a 12 day lp. That's actually the longest lp I've ever had...EVER! So that means CD1 should be on Sunday. I'm not holding my breath that it won't show up. We had great timing but thinking that this would work on the first cycle trying after that ridiculously long break just seems silly. I'm not saying that I have lost complete hope...I'm just trying to be a bit realistic. I need to be for my sanity. Besides...I'm already starting to get my usual mild cramping that I get about 3 days before CD1. I can feel it coming.
I've decided that I won't let it get me down if I'm not pregnant this cycle. I refuse! If I learned anything since I started this Creighton and Napro thing it's that I've got to be patient. Patient is not a virtue of mine. This is something that God is teaching me every single day. I'm really working hard on it...but it's very difficult.
I found this prayer for patience I though I would share.
~ A Prayer For Patience ~
God, teach me to be patient, teach me to go slow,
Teach me how to wait on You when my way I do not know.
Teach me sweet forbearance when things do not go right
So I remain unruffled when others grow uptight.
Teach me how to quiet my racing, rising heart
So I might hear the answer You are trying to impart.
Teach me to let go, dear God, and pray undisturbed until
My heart is filled with inner peace and I learn to know your will.
~Helen Steiner Rice~
God, teach me to be patient, teach me to go slow,
Teach me how to wait on You when my way I do not know.
Teach me sweet forbearance when things do not go right
So I remain unruffled when others grow uptight.
Teach me how to quiet my racing, rising heart
So I might hear the answer You are trying to impart.
Teach me to let go, dear God, and pray undisturbed until
My heart is filled with inner peace and I learn to know your will.
~Helen Steiner Rice~
