Welcoming Mary-Grace Part 1

This is the story of how we welcomed our beautiful little miracle Mary-Grace Eloise into the world.  It is an honest reflection on how I remember the three days of labor as I remember it.

On Friday night, March 18th, I went to bed disappointed.  Although my due date was still a few days away, I had truly thought our daughter would be here by this point.  I tried really hard in the weeks leading up to her birth not to put too much weight on the due date, they are only estimated after all.  But the previous week had been hard.  I had a false alarm earlier in the week that got me excited and then disappointed.  The date K and I hoped for her birth (how silly is that that we picked a date) came and went.  I was tired, uncomfortable, swollen, and anxious.  I wanted nothing more in this world than to hold my baby.  The baby I longed for for years.  The baby K and I prayed for.

K could tell I was getting anxious and frustrated.  He reassured me that God had a plan and that Mary-Grace would come when she was ready.  He then joked that maybe this weekend would be the weekend.  Not only was there a full moon, but it was also a "super moon" and was supposed to be closer to the Earth than it had been in 18 years.  I laughed at him and told him I changed my mind.  I could wait a little longer.  I didn't want to have my baby on a weekend that was bound to be a busy weekend for labor and delivery at the hospital.  We had been preparing for months for a natural, um-medicated child birth.  I was nervous about not having cooperative nurses and thought if they were really busy they were even less likely to cooperate.

We went to bed late that night.  Much later than I wanted but I just couldn't sleep.  The anxiety was keeping me up so we hung out together and watched some TV.  Once finally asleep I woke up several times as I had been most of the pregnancy.  I had been having contractions for weeks so the contractions I was having at this point didn't set off any alarms and I refused to time them.  I felt like I absolutely needed to do everything in my power to get some sleep.  I can't explain it but it was overwhelming.  The catch was that the overwhelming feeling of needing to get sleep actually kept me up.  If only I could have calmed those feelings.  I had no idea at the time how bad I needed that sleep.

At some point I finally dozed off and woke up at about 8:30 Saturday morning.  The minute I woke up I felt different.  There was this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that something was happening but I tried really hard to squash it.  I was still having contractions which was a bit unusual.  With the exception of the day we had the false alarm I didn't have contractions in the morning.  I tried to note the time that one began but still refused to officially time them.  After awhile I noticed that there was definitely a pattern.  They were coming every 8-10 minutes and lasting about a minute.  I also began to notice that the contractions were different from the contractions I had been having in the previous weeks.  Rather than just being crampy and in the front they seemed to be wrapping around my abdomen from front to back.

I still didn't want to get too excited but decided to get some cleaning done in the house just in case.  I told K that I was feeling strange but didn't say that I thought this might be labor.  When I told him I could tell that he was thinking the same thing but didn't want to say it.  He decided to mow the grass and we kept going about our day.

We went to Lo.wes to pick up a few flowers for the front yard and to a Catholic Store not too far away.  We decided the week before that we wanted to get a statue of Mary to take to the hospital with us when we went.  We had been feeling such a strong connection to Mary in the months leading up to Mary-Grace's conception as well as throughout the pregnancy.  K thought that it would be great to ask for her intercession during labor and maybe a statue of her would be a great thing for me to focus on.  While at the gift shop I noticed that my contractions were definitely getting stronger and closer together although I still wasn't officially timing them.  We spent quite a bit of time picking out a statue of Mary and also decided on a statue of The Holy Family for our home.  I started getting really anxious while there and felt like we needed to pick what we wanted and get home.  The contractions were strong enough at this point that they were pretty uncomfortable.

On our way home K called his parents because they were supposed to be bringing us a chair they were giving us.  Of course we mentioned nothing of me possibly being in labor.  They invited us out to dinner with them and we decided to go ahead and go.  This was a decision I would later regret.

While waiting for his parents to arrive the contractions got stronger and stronger.  His parents finally arrived and I kept thinking to myself, "We really should stay home, this had got to be labor and I need to rest."  Of course I didn't listen to my instincts and decided to suck it up and go out to dinner.  I however, was determined not to let on that something was up (a decision I'm very glad we made).  We went to a great place and I decided to order a really good meal thinking I may need my energy and I was absolutely starving!  I had a great fillet, garlic mashed potatoes, and roasted asparagus.  We even ordered dessert...banana's foster.  It was delicious! 

By the time we were done with dessert I was done!  I noticed that the contractions were about 6 minutes apart and were becoming increasingly uncomfortable.  I was having trouble sitting and felt like we needed to get out of there quick.  Before we left I made a quick stop at the restroom where I definitely lost my mucous plug.  At least a big piece of it.  Let's just say it was pretty gross looking.  I almost took a picture to show K but decided that that was taking things a bit too far. :)

By this point I didn't need to tell K that I was in labor, he was very aware.  The look on my face said it all.  Instead of heading straight home we made a pit stop at target to get some things I knew I would need for labor or want for labor.  We picked up some orange juice, water, Gatorade  popsicles, trail mix, honey sticks, hard candy, and one more nursing tank top.  I had a real hard time getting through the store.  I was having to stop during contractions and could no longer talk during them.  I told K I was nervous that things were moving very quickly.  He suggested we get home and try to get some rest.

By the time we got home the contractions were ranging from 4-6 minutes apart and lasting anywhere from 1 to 1.5 minutes.  I tried to lay down but that was just not working for me.  At this point I could no longer remain silent and would moan through each contraction.  There was no way I could sleep so I decided to take a bath.  The bath was wonderful!  K sat next to me and rubbed my back during each contraction and timed them.  He would tell me when I was about half way through each one to help me see the light at the end of the tunnel.  He would tell me how good I was doing and that he loved me.  In between each contraction he encouraged me to drink water.  Although the bath didn't slow the contractions (which I guess is good) or even make them less painful, it made them easier to deal with.  The warm water made it possible for me to relax.

While I was taking a bath K decided to call our doula Kristen to let her know what was going on.  She offered to come over but K and I declined.  This is something we discussed with her at our meetings and she completely understood our position and even agreed with us.  K and I thought that we might possibly want to labor at home alone.  I'm a private person and pretty modest.  I was afraid that having someone in my house would stress me out at a time when stress was the last thing I needed.  This ended up being a wonderful decision.  The early parts of labor were so special to both of us.  It was in a way romantic and it paved the way for what would turn out to be the longest three days of our lives.  I learned very quickly to trust K and rely on him only.  I wouldn't change that decision for anything.

After awhile I got really hot and decided to get out of the bath.  I figured I should try again to lay down and get some rest.  Unfortunately this still wasn't possible.  K got my birthing ball and I tried to drape my body across that.  No such luck.  I then tried sitting on it, but again, no luck.  I tried position after position but nothing was comfortable.  Finally I settled on a half squatting position with my hands on the side of our bed while I swayed back and forth with K putting counter pressure on my lower back.  Every now and then he would put his forearms under my arms and I would drop into the same half squat and sway.  Within a very short amount of time my contractions got to every 2 minutes lasting 1 to 1.5 minutes.  This means I was only getting a 30 second to 1 minute break between each one.  I quickly became very serious.  At this point K tried to touch me during a contraction and I hit him in the arm.  It was the only way I could think to communicate with him to not touch me.  It was like something shifted in me and everything changed.  In between contractions I could no longer relax and I started feeling like I needed to get to the hospital asap!

K called our doula again and told her what was going on.  In the short few minutes they talked Kristen could hear me moaning in the background and agreed that I was definitely in the late stages of labor and needed to get to the hospital.  We had a 45 minute drive so we were a bit nervous to wait to long.  I stayed in my half squat position moaning through each contraction while K made sure that we had everything we needed in the car.

In trying to get me to the car I had to stop through a few contractions leaning on whatever I could find near by.  When I got into the car I said a quick prayer and asked for Mary's intercession.  I begged her to ask her Son to take away my contractions for the car ride.  Throughout the weeks leading up to labor the car ride was a huge fear of mine.  She really can through for me.  In the 45 minutes it took to get to the hospital I only had 3 contractions.

We arrived at labor and delivery at 1:30am on Sunday, March 20th.  It took us several minutes to get into the hospital as I was having to stop and breathe through each contraction.  The whole time K was right there, holding me up, encouraging me, and helping me to relax.

Upon signing in with security I noticed that the counter was the perfect height for me to lean on and asked the security guard if that would be ok.  He was fine with it but after me moaning through one contraction he apparently got nervous and called triage for the second time to come get me.  He then offered me a wheelchair which I quickly declined.  After another contraction, he offered again.  I couldn't seem to make him understand that sitting was the last thing I wanted to do and that I really was in to mood to talk to anyone.

Fortunately within minutes a triage nurse, Nancy, came through the double doors to get me.  I swear she was an angel.  I didn't know it at this point, but I would come to love this woman and be very thankful for her.  She told me she was going to take me back to triage to be checked and if I was indeed in labor she would have me admitted.  In just a short time I had another contraction, and then another, and then another.  She was very patient and stopped with me every time I had a contraction and told me to take my time that there was no rush.

Once back in a room I undressed and got into the bed which was excruciating.  Sitting or lying down is the absolute worse position to labor in.  It really is torture!  She hooked me up to the fetal monitor and the contraction monitor.  Mary-Grace was doing great with a nice strong heartbeat and my contractions were measuring every 2 minutes and off the charts.  Nancy said "Wow! Those are good contractions.  Let me get you checked and see what we've got going on here."  Now, I don't know what I was expecting, I think for some reason I had in my mind that I wanted to be at least 6cm but I remember thinking I want to at least be 4.  K told me later that he thought I was going to be 8.  He says I was showing signs of transition and figure I had to be pretty far along.

I was nowhere near prepared for what she was about to tell me.  1cm!  1 measly centimeter!  I could not believe it.  There was just no way!  I had been having contractions every 2 minutes for several hours at this point and they were measuring off the charts.  There was no way I had only progressed to 1cm!  I was also only 70% effaced.  I was 70% at my doctors appointment 4 days before.

Nancy suggested that we go walk for an hour or two and see what happens.  I was frustrated but determined.  So walking is exactly what we did.

Part two coming soon...