Prayer Buddy Reveal

This Advent I had the honor of praying for Mathching Moonheads!  I have been reading her blog for quite some time (although I don't comment nearly as much as I should) and have always loved her!  A, I prayed for you, your precious miracle, and your husband whenever you popped into my head during the day.  I also prayed for you at Mass and Adoration.  I tried to offer up lots of things for you, especially the week Mary-Grace and I both had the flu.  I hope that your felt my prayers and please know that I will continue to pray for you.  I cannot wait to "meet" that sweet baby of yours when s/he arrives! :)

I also want to thank All You Who Hope for praying for me.  You were the very first blog I found (I found you the week you adopted your sweet Clara) when I was searching for answers and support.  You gave me hope when I was feeling hopeless.  Thank you so much for your prayers, it means more than I can tell you.

3rd Trimester and a Change

Today marks the first day of my third trimester with sweet Hannah.  I cannot believe I'm 28 weeks already.  I feel like it took me forever to get this far with Mary-Grace.  It's strange, but I often forget that I'm pregnant...until I try to bend over to pick something up.  I feel like this pregnancy has been so much smoother than it was last time around.  I wasn't anywhere near as sick in the beginning.  We haven't had any scares like we did last time.  I decided to forgo PIO injections even though my levels were slightly low.  I'm more exhausted this time around, but I also don't have the luxury of napping whenever I want like I did last time.  I haven't gained much weight,  as of a month ago I had gained 9 lbs.  I'm not sure what I'm up to now.  I was supposed to have an appointment today but I rescheduled for next week.  It's just so crazy busy here with an insane amount of family drama on both sides that I decided it would just be so much easier.  K is also off all next week so he won't have to take time to go with me.  Sometimes I feel guilty because I feel like I'm not paying as much attention to Hannah like I did with Mary-Grace (does that make sense?).  I'm just so busy chasing this increasingly mobile, 9 month old (tomorrow) around the house that I don't have time to think about it.  I used to talk to MG all the time, rub my belly, and pay attention to every move she made.  Now I'm sitting here wondering if I've felt her move in the past 24 hours.  I'm drinking some juice to wake her up so I can be sure she's doing ok in there.

I have moments of panic from time to time.  Before I know it Hannah will be here and we will be a family of 4.  I feel like we just became a family of 3 (probably because we did).  Ten years of just the two of us (5 of those married) and suddenly we have doubled.  It's mind blowing.  I can't wait to meet her but I'm also not ready.  I look around my house and think there is no way we are ready for another baby around here.  I haven't begun cooking and freezing meals.  I haven't cleaned the carpet, organized the closets, or gotten MG a big girl carseat so that Hannah can have her infant one.  The calendar says I only have 12 weeks to go.  But my gut says I have less.  MG was born 1 week early (well 6 days, but whatever).  My OBs said that typically the moms they see that have babies less than a year apart tend to go even earlier.  It's like their bodies are already so well prepped that it just kicks right into gear the second time around.  Hannah is due March 13th.  My plan is to have everything I need to do done by February 13th.  Then if she's early I'm ready and if not, great!  I can attempt to rest.

We still haven't made our final decision on a homebirth yet.  I've got to make a few phone calls later today and set up some appointments for next week when K is off.  Hopefully after some consultations with some midwives we'll be able to make our decision.  Surprisingly K is 100% for the homebirth, I'm the one with some reservations.  What's funny is that unlike last time around where my reservations were safety, this time I'm just worried that I won't be able to handle it.  I'm terrified of the pain this go around.  I'm thinking it's because of my experience with a 3 day labor that's making me a little uneasy.  I don't know if I can do that again.

We still haven't totally decided on Hannah's middle name.  We were wanting Therese but now I'm really wanting Elizabeth.  K is still stuck on Therese.  Any opinions to sway me one way or the other is appreciated.

Now onto the change.  I've been trying to figure out why blogging has taken such a back seat.  Obviously I'm a bit busier now but I know that's not it.  The truth is that when I sit down to write nothing comes out.  I started this blog while searching for support from other women who were experiencing the same things that I was.  The whole premise of my writing centered around IF.  Obviously I can't really consider myself IF anymore.  When I sit down to write all I can think of is writing about my experiences with motherhood, homemaking, life as a new Catholic etc. etc.  But obviously IF isn't really there anymore.  I want to keep writing.  I actually do have a lot of things I would like to talk about but I feel like I can't do it here.  It's a weird feeling I can't really explain.  So I'm thinking about doing a change.  I'm thinking about changing my name (I never really liked it anyway), changing the look, and changing the focus.  It will take some time but I think it needs it.  Like the name, I've just never been 100% happy with my little space.  Maybe a change will help.  We'll see what happens. :)

In the mean time I hope all of you have a Merry Christmas if I don't get a chance to blog before then.  You are all in my prayers (especially you prayer buddy) as always!

Good morning...

Couldn't ask for a better way to wake up on my birthday. :)

And yes that says A-Mommy.  Have I ever told you that from day one we created a "voice" for Mary-Grace?  Well we did.  She sounds sort of French and she also likes to put "a" in front of words (short a sound like uh).  I'm not sure how this all came about but we think it's pretty cute. :)  I've been wondering what sort of "voice" Hannah will have. :)

This little boy needs our prayers!

I stumbled across a blog today, clicking from blog to blog. Please, please, pray for this little baby boy as well as his momma.

Just a warning, it's hard to read, I'm still sobbing. I cannot even imagine.

http://ourordinarylifeextraordinary.blogspot.com/2011/12/tragedy.html


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone so please excuse they typos. My phone thinks it's smarter than me.

Prayer Buddy

Prayer Buddy (and anyone else who would like to say a prayer or two), I have a request.

I was planning on delivering Hannah with the same doctors and hospital as I did with Mary-Grace. Although it didn't not end up being unmediated as originally planned I did not have a bad experience at all. However, for the past few weeks home birth has really been on my heart. The main thing that deterred me with MG was that the closest hospital (with maternity ward) was 45 minutes away. I worried that if there was an emergency, it would be a really long trip to the hospital even via ambulance. Well, halfway through my pregnancy the newer hospital that is about 15-20 minutes away opened up their maternity center. However, at the time I didn't want to switch to a midwife. This time around I'm second guessing my choice to go with the same doctors and hospital.

Here are my concerns:

1. I want to try to go natural again. Although my experience wasn't bad last time it may be different this time if I don't actually get the epidural. My doctors and the hospital aren't exactly known for being natural birth friendly.

2. I don't want to leave MG. I know this sounds strange but it's an honest fear of mine. I have never left her. The longest she has been away from me is for a quick trip to the grocery store down the street with K. I have so much anxiety about leaving her already. I'm afraid that my fears may stall labor. I think I would be most comfortable knowing that she was being taken care of in the next room by my doula or K or possibly my sister.

3. I fear an unforeseen emergency.

4. I fear being transferred to the hospital and having to see an on call doctor and nurses who might not respect my wishes.

I'm already 27 weeks so of we are going to make this switch we have to do it very soon. I'm going to call around to set up interviews with midwives tomorrow.

If you could say a little prayer for peace of mind and clarity I would so appreciate it! Thank you! Thank you!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone so please excuse they typos. My phone thinks it's smarter than me.

Christmas Cards!!!

I have seriously dreamed of sending out Christmas cards with a little one on it for years!  Of course when I finally got around to being able to do it I totally slacked.  I'm going to blame it on being insanely sick last week (hence not getting up the post I told you I would).  Anyhoo...because I slacked I missed the awesome discount and had to pay out the nose for shipping to insure that I get them in time to get them mailed.  Whatever!  I'm just happy I finally ordered them!  I ordered way more than I needed because rather than counting households on or family list I counted people. :o/  Oh well...so now that I have way too many y'all are welcome to one if you want it. :)  Hopefully I'll have enough for whoever wants one.  I think I have quite a few extra.  So if you would like one email me your address to ktmathewson at gmail dot com.

Photo Card

View the entire collection of cards.

Finally...A Blog Post!!!

I am a bad bad blogger.  Everyday I say to myself I need to write a post.  Then I either forget or get one half written and something happens and I can't finish.  I have more half written posts in my drafts folder than I know what to do with.  And guess what guys?  Most of them actually have some thought behind them and aren't me just complaining.  Go figure. :)

So, before I get to the posts with actual thought I figured I'd give y'all a sort of update.  Then I promise I'll get one of two posts up that I've been wanting to do for a long long time.  I haven't decided which one will go up first...depends on which one I'm in the mood to finish.

Let's start with Hannah.  I'm a just over 25 weeks along now.  This is just mind boggling to me.  This time around it is going so much faster than it did with Mary-Grace.  I swear I never thought I'd make it to this point with her.  But with Hannah, I feel like I blinked and here I am.  I find that to be bittersweet.  I don't know how to put this so if it comes out like I'm ungrateful or complaining please know that I'm not.  I feel like the faster this pregnancy goes by the faster Mary-Grace's first birthday will be here.  I'm not ready for that.  I can't believe how fast it is sneaking up on me.  Before I know it Hannah will be here.  Don't get me wrong, I cannot wait to meet her, however, I feel like my baby is getting big so fast.  I miss my little newborn peanut.  I've got a weird case of mommy guilt.  I know that giving MG a sibling is such a blessing, both to her and to me, but I feel bad because she didn't get much time here on her own (I realize this is ridiculous because only the first child gets alone time at all).  I know that my heart has plenty of room to love multiple children (and I do already love Hannah, it's just different) but I can't imagine loving anyone more that I love Mary-Grace.  I don't know how to put my love for her into words.  I feel like my heart could just explode.  How can I possibly love someone else that much at the same time.  It hurts my brain trying to wrap my mind around it.

Other than that Hannah seems to be doing great!  She's growing and moving more and more everyday.  I'm assuming that I passed my glucose test last week since no one has called (wahoo!).  I've gained 9 pounds but it feels like 50.  I can't sleep to save my life and have to pee every 20 minutes.   Sounds about right.

Now for Mary-Grace...

She is doing wonderful!  She is 8 1/2 months old.  She still has no teeth but has two on the bottom that are trying their hardest to push through making her miserable.  She is doing a combination of army crawling and rolling to get around and has just begun to get herself onto her hands and knees and rock.  I'm sure crawling is right around the corner.  I have mixed feeling about that.  She sits up beautifully but if she falls over she can't, or won't, sit herself up.  Is this strange?   I feel more like she just won't not that she can't.  She's extremely stubborn.  And the most glorious news of all...SHE IS SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!  She goes down any time between 7pm and 9pm (it's usually at 7:30 but does vary from time to time) and sleeps until anywhere from 6am-7am.  Well, this morning she got up at 5am but whatever.  Lately she's been waking up briefly around midnight of so and fussing for 30 seconds or so and then falling back asleep.  I think this is teething related though.  Naps still leave something to be desired though.  She is typically ready for a morning nap sometime before 9am but how long she sleeps is up in the air.  It can be anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours but is usually closer to 30-45 minutes.  Afternoon naps are hit or miss.  But hey, I'll take what I can get.  This is such an improvement from a few months ago.

Breastfeeding is still going.  My milk supply is definitely dwindling as I get further along.  We are now having to supplement with about 6-10 ounces of formula a day.  It seriously broke my heart at first and was compounding the depression issues I was having but my wonderful husband has been so supportive and helped me to feel much much better about it.  He reminded me that feeding my baby formula does not make me a bad mom, starving my child would.  She was hungry and obviously not getting enough from me.  How could I deny her more food?  I've talked to many women who have been there as well as several lactation consultants and I've come to realize that I'm very lucky to still be breastfeeding her as much as I am at this point in my pregnancy.  A lot of women totally dry up by this point or their babies wean themselves to to the change in taste.  The LC reminded me that often when you hear of women bfing all the way through their pregnancies are women who get pregnant when their nursing baby is much older than MG was so they aren't needing as much milk as she does.  I was fortunate enough that a wonderful fellow blogger sent me some of her extra frozen milk.  Now that that is gone I would love to find more donor milk but the only bank anywhere near me is 2 hours away and the cost is $5 per ounce.  I just cannot afford that.  I will supplement as necessary and refuse to feel guilty for it.  I will also breastfeed her as much as possible, even if that means she only get an ounce from me a day.  I love the time we spend together and I figure the comfort she receives from it is just as important as the nutrition.

Yikes!  This is getting long!  I had more to share but I'll hold off for now.  I'll end with this:

Thanks Brenda over at Life As We Know It was so sweet to honor me with the Liebster Award for up and coming blogs.  I don't know that I would call myself "up and coming" seeing as how I'm lucky to pump out one post a month...but I was honored non the less. :)

The Liebster Award spotlights up and coming bloggers with fewer than 200 followers. In return for the award, the recipient bestows the award on five of their favorite bloggers.

I'm sure I'm going to name ladies who have already received the award but my blogging world is a bit small.  :)

1.Isaiah 55:8-9 - She was my prayer buddy during Lent and I love her blog.  I don't comment over there as often as I should but she is wonderful!

2.Angela at Mary Grace Holmes - I found her awhile ago and I just love her!  I ready her blog from the very beginning and fell in love with her faith through such tragedy.  Her beautiful daughter Isabel and son Ian are pretty darn awesome too!

3.Lauren at Magnify the LORD with me - Oh my, how I love Lauren!  She adopted a beautiful daughter last year and was just blessed with the adoption of another sweet baby girl a few weeks ago.  I was so fortunate to be able to visit her a few months ago for my first blogger meet up.  She is an amazing hostess and has an amazing husband.  And that sweet little Abigail of hers is even cuter in person.

4. Sew at Sew Hormonal - Can I even nominate her?  Isn't she the queen of these blogs?  Haha!  I seriously love Sew!  We often joke that she and I must be twins.  Our crazy hormonal antics often mirror each other.  I feel blessed to have found her.  She is the first person I've ever talked to about my hormonal hell that actually gets it because she experiences the same things.

5. Awaiting at Awaiting a Child of God - She was also able to join us for the blogger meet up at Lauren's and I fell in love with her instantly.  She is such a sweet southern girl with the most adorable accent.  She is due any day now with a sweet little baby that I just cannot wait to meet!


Thanks again Brenda!  And you made me chuckle...we definitely share the same sense of humor. ;)