Welcoming Mary-Grace Part 2

If you missed part one of Mary-Grace's birth story you can find it here.

I got up frustrated and put my clothes back on.  Then K and I set out to walk the halls of the hospital.  I was very frustrated but determined.  I was having such awesome contractions that I figured a little walking was all I needed to get this show on the road.

Surprisingly there wasn't a lot of places that we could walk.  The women's part of the hospital where labor and delivery is, is across the street from the main hospital.  Labor and delivery is on the first floor and that's basically the only floor we were allowed on.  We found a long hallway and just walked back and forth.  There was a handrail down the whole length of the hall so if I didn't hand off of K to sway during a contraction, I would hold onto the handrail and fall into a squat.  I was surprised how many nurses stopped me to see if I needed a wheelchair.  Um, no, I'm trying to dilate here.  It was pretty amazing how these nurses acted.  You would think they had never seen a woman in labor before.

After about an hour and a half of walking I just couldn't take it anymore.  I was exhausted!  We decided to head back to triage to get checked out again.  The whole walk there I prayed and prayed that I had progressed.

I undressed again and hopped up onto the bed and waited for the nurse.  It wasn't long before she came in but it felt like an eternity.  Did I mention that a bed is the absolute worst place to labor?  Instead of my angel nurse Nancy coming in, another nurse named Karen came to check me.  I just knew I would like her. :)  I began to have another contraction right as she was about to check me and she kindly waited until it was over.  I closed my eyes and prayed while she checked me.  When she was done I opened my eyes and the look on her face said it all.  She then told me that I was still 1cm.  My heat sank.  How could that be?  She looked at the strip of my contractions and said that there really was no reason I wasn't dilating.  She said I was having very strong, regular contractions and thought that when I did finally start to progress it would probably go very quickly.  She predicted that I would be back before 7pm when her shift would be over.  I hoped she was right.  She said that exhaustion was probably playing a huge role in what was happening and suggested I take an amb.ien so that I could get some rest.  She said it wouldn't take away the pain but would make it so that I could sleep through it.  I thought about it for a few minutes and talked to K about it.  We really didn't want any interventions but I really believed she was right.  Exhaustion was making this so much harder and I felt like if I could just get some sleep things would be much better.

So K and I packed up our things, disappointed but still hopeful.  Karen, the nurse, came back with my Ambi.en and a little water.  I took the pill and we left.  The drive home was horrible.  Not only was I extremely groggy from the Am.bien, I was feeling every single contraction.  It was the worst feeling every.  It was like I had no control over my body whatsoever.  I was quickly beginning to regret my decision but was hopeful that when I got home and could actually lie down things would be better.  Unfortunately that was not the case.  I got into bed and tried to get into the side-lying position we learned in Bradly.  K massaged my shoulders between contraction and then applied counter pressure to my lower back during them and I tried to sleep.

By this point I definitely regretted my decision to take the Am.bien.  There was definitely no sleeping.  The pill just made me so groggy and out of it that I could barely move and certainly couldn't communicate but I felt every single contraction.  It was the worst feeling I have ever felt.

Finally after several hours the Amb.ien began to ware off.  I decided to get up and try to move around more.  I would stop and squat and sway during each contraction.  They were still 2 minutes apart lasting for 1.5 minutes.  K encouraged me to eat but I had no desire to.  I would try to munch on trail mix when I could but I really had no appetite at this point.  K started bringing me Gator.ade and OJ rather than water figuring he could get some calories in me that way.  The contractions were feeling stronger and stronger so I decided to hop in the bath again to see if I could relax.  Just like the day before, the bath did not slow the contractions, it just made it a little easier to deal with.

After I got too hot I got out and tried to sit on my birthing ball again.  It was really uncomfortable but I tried to stick it out hoping that maybe it would help to progress me in some way.  For the next few hours I drank as much as possible and changed positions as often as I could.  I encouraged K to get some sleep but he refused to leave my side.  By 5:30pm on Sunday, March 20th, my contractions were feeling stronger and K said my attitude was changing once again.  I was even more serious than before and starting to feel a lot of doubt.  We learned in Bradley that doubt is a sign of transition so we thought maybe I had finally began to progress and reluctantly decided to head to the hospital again.

We decided not to call our doula this time until we knew what was going on.  I felt horrible that we had her come out to the hospital in the wee hours of the morning the night before only for her to have to go back home.

I prayed my same prayer on the way to the hospital and once again my contractions slowed for the drive.  Again I only had 3 contraction during the nearly 45 minute drive.  I was very thankful.

When we got to the hospital we checked in with security once again.  I asked the new guard if he minded if I lean on his counter.  He didn't, but just like the guard before, the second I had a contraction he asked if I wanted a wheelchair.  K mentioned later that you would think these people never actually see women in real labor which seems crazy seeing as how it's the maternity wing.

This time a different nurse came out to get me.  She wasn't as nice as Nancy.  She took me back to triage once again and I got undressed and hopped up on my enemy, the bed, once again.  Then, much to my delight, Karen came into my room.  I had completely forgot that she told me she thought I would be back before the end of her shift.  Again, I closed my eyes and said a little prayer as she checked me.  This time I didn't want to open my eyes when she was done.  I was afraid of what her face would tell me.

Finally, after what seemed like forever I opened my eyes and I was right, her face said it all.  I asked her how much I had progressed and she said I was barely 2 cm.  Barely.  I immediately burst into tears.  Over 12 hours since I had last been checked and I had only progressed one more centimeter.  I was beyond exhausted and told her that the Amb.ien did nothing to help, that I still had not slept.  By this point I had only had about 3 hours of sleep in 2 days.  She said that if I wanted I could get a small mor.phine shot and that would numb the pain for a few hours.  Again, I really didn't want and interventions but I was getting desperate.  I felt like my body had gone into survival mode and I knew sleep was absolutely necessary so I agreed.  I figured I had had mor.phine in the past and knew it worked.  It had to help!  Had to!  All I needed was a few hours of sleep and I knew I could do it.

So once again I got dressed and Karen came back with my shot.  As we were leaving I saw my favorite nurse Nancy.  I could tell she felt terrible that I was having to leave once again.  She said it would take about a half hour for the mor.phine to kick in but it should really help.  She had the same thoughts I did.  If I could just get some rest things should move along very quickly.  I told her goodbye and said that hopefully the next time I saw her she would be admitting me.  She said she was sure she would.

The drive home was horrific.  I began to have contractions one on top of the other.  There was literally no break between them.  A contraction would begin, then peak, and as it was coming down another would start.  I kept wondering when this darn mor.phine would kick in.  It never did.  Unfortunately, just as the Amb.ien did, the morph.ine did nothing but make me groggy.  I still felt every  single contraction.

Once home, I got into bed and tried to get comfortable.  I was determined to get some rest.  I convinced K to lie down too.  I told him he absolutely had to rest.  I needed him well rested.  He got into bed right next to me and tried to dose off.  I would moan through each contraction and he would wake up to try to help me.  I was delirious at this point and would cry between each contraction and would start apologizing to him and ask if he wanted me to go into another room so he could sleep.  He looked at me like I was crazy and assured me that he wasn't leaving my side.  After awhile I got up again and tried to move around stopping and squatting for contractions.  I took a shower, which didn't help at all but felt much needed.  I tried everything I could to relax through each contraction but as time went on it was becoming harder and harder.

By now it was early Monday morning, March 21st.  I had been up for well over 48 hours.  I was deliriously tired and was beginning to see no end in sight.  I tried one more time to lie down to rest.  While in bed K laid down next to me and decided to pray a Rosary.  I tried hard to pay attention but I honestly could hardly focus.  I was done and felt like I could not go on anymore.  I had been in labor for nearly 3 days.  For most of that time I was having extremely strong contractions every two minutes.  I felt like my body had given up.  I looked at K and said, "I'm serious now.  I can't do this anymore.  We have to go back to the hospital."  He asked if I was sure and I assured him I was.  I was more exhausted than I had ever been in my life and was worried about my health and the health of Mary-Grace.  When I got up I felt a drop and a lot of pressure on my cervix.  I also noticed my contractions suddenly get stronger and even closer.  They were now about 1 1/2 minutes apart.  I thought for a second that maybe I had finally progressed and maybe this was transition.  It's a 45 minute drive to the hospital and thought that if I was indeed in transition that it was possible we wouldn't make it.  Earlier in labor I feared this.  I remember leaving the hospital the first time and thinking that I had gone to the hospital at the time that I was taught to go.  I was serious, having contractions 2 minutes apart, and they were lasting more than a minute.  This was the guidelines and yet I wasn't progressing.  I wondered how I would know to come back.  But, at this time, I was so exhausted I didn't have the energy to worry.  So I got back into the car, too tired to pray my prayer this time, and once again we headed back to the hospital.

Part 3 (the final part) coming soon.  For real this time...it will probably be up Thursday. :)