Grateful

First of all...sorry for my lack of commenting lately.  My brain feels a bit fried.  I'm having trouble coming up with meaningful things to say.  Just know that you all are always in my prayers...ALWAYS! :)

I've been trying to work on my attitude.  I feel like I'm not handling things well.  I talked to dh about it and he was very supportive and kept telling me I'm not giving myself enough credit.  I know lately it doesn't seem like it but I'm not usually a complainer when it comes to not feeling well.  I can handle quite a bit of pain and ick.  Dh pointed out that if I'm complaining it's bad.  I usually suck it up but I just haven't been able to lately.  I'm working on it though.  I've decided to work on just being grateful for the blessings in my life rather than dwelling on the stress and the crummy feelings.  I've decided to document some of the things I find myself especially grateful for lately.  If anything I think typing it out will help remind me when I'm not feeling particularly grateful.

I'm grateful for this life inside me.  With pregnancy comes pains.  It's part of the territory.  But I am oh so blessed to have this little one.  DH and I honestly never believed this would happen.  We were not done working on some of my issues.  I shocked the heck out of my Napro Consultant when we found out.  She was (and still is) certain that I have endo.  We both realize that you need surgery to confirm but she said that if I don't have endo she would be shocked beyond belief.  I was working on planning my trip to Omaha to have surgery with Dr. H when out of nowhere we got those two beautiful pink lines.  The sickness blows...it really does...but it reminds me everyday that dh and I created life.

I am grateful for my husband.  He really is the best husband in the world. :)  I often feel like I hit the lottery when I look at him.  I'm still sleeping in the morning when he leaves for work.  He comes in every morning before he leaves and gives me a kiss and tells me he loves me.  I know he does this but I often don't really wake up.  The other morning I was a little more awake than usual and I noticed something.  After he gave me a kiss and told me he loved me he lifted up my shirt just a little, kissed my tummy and said "I love you too Sweet Pea."  I melted right there in bed.  I asked him when he started doing that and he said since day one.  I had no idea.  He's amazing!  I'm one heck of a blessed girl!

I am grateful for my new found Catholic faith!  I know I haven't talked about it much.  It seems like the news of Sweet Pea has taken over but I really am.  It's hard to explain the feelings I have.  Maybe that's why I haven't talked about it much.  The feelings and emotions I have are so hard to put into words.  Every time I go to Mass I feel like I'm home again.  It's so hard for me not to just cry through out the whole thing.  Happy tears of course.  God had been calling me home for so long.  I was just too stubborn to listen.  I'm so thankful that he found away to work in my heart.  I feel so blessed that we are given all that we are through our faith.  It is so unbelievably amazing.

I am grateful that God always provides.  I had a major freak out when I quit my job.  MAJOR!  I was so worried about finances.  DH kept telling me not to worry, that things always have a way of working things out.  As usual, he was right.  Everything we need has just been falling into place.  We are not hurting nearly as bad as I expected.  Sure, things are tight, but we are managing.  Things just seem to work out.  I'm also looking into subbing in our county for the public schools.  It's definitely part time but that's ok.  That's kinda what I want.  And it's super flexible!  It wouldn't bring in much but it would give me something to do and every little bit matters.  And a special thank you to a wonderful blogger (she knows who she is:)).  A few weeks ago I got a nice little package in the mail with some progesterone in it.  It has certainly helped to offset some of the unreal medical costs we have encountered lately.  Thank you thank you!

Speaking of bloggers.  I'm also grateful for each of you.  And I think dh is too. :)  It has been so wonderful getting to know you all.  It is nice to be able to spill my guts to all of you...women who really understand what I am going through.  It's amazing and I thank God for each of you every single day.  Thank you!

Also, thank you to my prayer buddy for the awesome rosary I got this week.  If I could find my camera I would take a picture of it for you all to see.  It's nice and small.  Perfect for my car ( I have always prayed a lot while driving).  There was also a book about praying the rosary and a little card that has all of the mysteries on the back.  Perfect for a newbie like me!