So today is P+12...AF should be here tomorrow. I feel it coming. I know it's coming. I'm sad but I was expecting it. With such a crummy mucus cycle I knew it would be inevitable. I did once again let myself get my hopes up though. I actually counted wrong and was thinking that today was P+13. I was figuring that if AF wasn't here tomorrow I would test on Wednesday morning...that's DH's birthday. Wouldn't that be an amazing birthday...and Father's Day present!?!? I know that would be silly considering that I take HCG but I just wouldn't be able to help myself. I'm silly like that. :) The end of this cycle has been a bit different. This may seem like tmi but I figure I tell all of my secrets on here so why not just tell them all. Right? Haha! My boobs have been super sore! They are always really sore and huge post peak but this time around it just feels a little different. They are achy which is also normal...but I keep getting these sharp pains, and they are kinda itchy. Make sense? My cramps have also been almost totally absent. Usually around P+10 I start getting a crampy feeling that just intensifies as time goes on. Not this time. I had a really sharp feeling somewhere around my left ovary Saturday. It actually felt more like a sharp pop feeling. If I hadn't had an ultrasound that said they were all good I may have thought it was a cyst or something. Not that I know what a cyst feels like. Then up until tonight I haven't had any cramps at all. I've had a few brief moments tonight of an achy feeling but nothing too bad. I'm guessing they just started late and I'll feel worse tomorrow. My typical headaches also started tonight so I'm sure AF is on her way. Yippee.
Maybe I'm a little sarcastic. No?
Today was my 3rd meeting with the deacon at church. He always seems so surprised at what I already know and yet I feel like I know very little. I guess most people go in looking for information to then decide if they want to join the Church. I'm just not that kind of person. I researched and researched, and bombarded Kevin with question after question to decide if that's what I wanted. Then I went to the deacon. That's just how I tend to do things. I'm so scared of looking stupid that I want to be super informed about everything. Make sense? I know it sounds crazy. I can't help it. After our meeting he said that he told me everything that I needed to know (obviously I don't know everything and never will, he was just saying that he went over all of the basics that I need to know). Next week we will be going over confession. Then from what I understand he will go to Fr. Ron and let him know that I am ready. Woohoo! Then I guess Fr. Ron will ask for permission from the Bishop. Then it's just a matter of me going to confession, getting confirmed, and then communion. There's one catch though. There's always a catch isn't there? Fr. Ron is leaving at the end of June to go to Israel and won't be back until some time in July. Soooo...that means I have to wait until July. No biggie I guess. I'm trying not to let my impatient self creep in. :)
Speaking of confession. Have I mentioned how much this terrifies me? Don't get me wrong, I want to go to confession, and I know that it has to feel so good to get all of that off of your chest. But I am just terrified!!! The thought of sitting down with someone and telling them all of my sins just makes me feel a little sick. I've got a lot of years to confess...this could take a really long time.
