Updates and Such

I'm now 9 weeks!  Wow! Well, 9 weeks and 2 days if you ask me...8 weeks and 6 days if you ask my doctor...but whatever.  I'm not going to get all bent out of shape over a few days.  Although when the doctor first said this to me I tried to explain how far along I really was to which she replied, "Well, you know, there is no way to know when you ovulated so maybe you didn't ovulate when you think you did."  DH just winked at me and I smiled.  The doctors at my practice think charting is silly and doesn't work.  Funny, because I have many many charts and lots of coordinating blood work to prove them wrong.  Haha!  I love it! 

I'm still feeling pretty crummy but I think I'm handling it a bit better.  I guess I'm getting used to it.  I did talk to my doctor on Monday regarding how bad I was feeling.  I told her that I was very worried that I was getting dehydrated due to the amount of upchucking I was doing.  I wasn't able to keep anything down, not even water.  I told her that I was throwing up at least 10 times a day (sorry tmi).  She got a little miffed that I hadn't called sooner.  How was I supposed to know?  She prescribed me some Phenergan to see if that would help.  She said there is a better one (Zofran) but for someone who is self pay it's super expensive (like $300 for 30 pills).  The Phenergan is working ok.  I'm keeping food down a bit more now so I guess that is progress.  I still feel crappy but at least I'm not dehydrated.  It could be much worse!  My younger sister had a heck of a time with her first one.  She was sick the entire 9 months and had to be hospitalized several times for dehydration.  So I'm trying to look on the bright side.  Hopefully in a few weeks when I hit the second trimester I will pep up.

Speaking of the second tri...when does that start?  I've heard anything from 12-14 weeks.

I have another appointment on Monday that includes an ultrasound.  I'm a bit nervous about it but really excited.  The only reason I have this appointment is because of that scare I had two weeks ago.  The doctor told me he wanted to see me every two weeks but that if I didn't have anymore bleeding I could cancel if I wanted.  Well, I haven't had anymore bleeding but I don't want to cancel.  I think it will be reassuring to me to see little Sweet Pea again.  I already have regular appointment set up for September 9th...I'm going to add an ultrasound to that appointment as well.  If everything is fine with both of those I think I will stop the every two week thing.  Hopefully by then I will feel a bit more comfortable.

On Monday I am going to talk to my doctor (which ever of the 9 there I see) about our plan for the birth.  I know it seems early for that but I have a feeling they aren't going to like my ideas.  I want an intervention free/med free birth.  DH and I plan on taking Bradly Classes this Winter.  Unfortunately, I don't think my doctor's are going to like the idea.  There is one midwife at my practice but there is not guarantee I can have her for birth...I already asked.  I also researched the hospital the practice delivers at...they aren't natural friendly either.  And to top it off their c-section rate is almost 50%!  Seriously?  That is a lot!  There are three hospitals in Tampa and 1 of them seems to be the most natural friendly...although it isn't great.  I also found a practice that delivers there.  It's made up of 15 midwifes and two doctors.  DH and I have talked about switching to them.  The downside, that particular hospital is a little over an hour away.  We don't exactly live in Tampa (although I grew up there).  We live about 20 minutes north and this hospital is at the very south end.  I guess we'll decide after I talk to my doctors.

There is a pretty nasty upper respiratory thing going around here.  Unfortunately I think I've caught it.  My nose is nice and stuffy and my chest is tight.  I've been coughing like crazy and when I lay down I'm having difficulty breathing.  Kinda shallow.  I'm just taking it easy and trying to get a lot of fluids in for now.  My question though is who do I call if I need a doctor?  I know that seems silly but I'm really not sure.  Do I call my ob or do I call my regular doctor?  Hopefully I won't get to that point.  I'll mention it to by ob on Monday anyway when I go in but I was just curious.

Anyhoo.  I hope you all have a great weekend!  God Bless!

Prayer Buddy

Unfortunately this is going to be short because I'm having some major nausea and vomiting issues again today.  But I didn't want to forget to post about my prayer buddy. :)

I had the pleasure of praying for a lovely woman that I did not know prior to being matched to her.  Her blog is private so JBTC had to do some work to get me invited (Thanks JBTC!).  Once in I could tell by the adorable picture of her, her husband and two adopted little ones that she was a doll.  I was right.  I was praying for lowly.

I started at the beginning of her blog trying to learn as much as I could about her.  Unfortunately there wasn't  a whole lot of information.  It seems that she has had I think two blogs prior to the one she has now.  At first I felt discouraged.  How could I pray for her intentions if I didn't know what they were.  Then I got over it.  I figured God knew her intentions...He knew her heart.  So I asked God for help and began praying.  I prayed for her at Mass and at adoration.  I started offering up every bit of this all day sickness for her intentions.  I prayed for her during my evening prayers and any other time she popped into my mind.

Through my prayers and offerings I felt very connected to her and felt like I was getting to know her.  It was an honor to pray for such a lovely woman and lovely family.  I will continue to keep her and her family in my prayers.

Quick Takes

1.  I have no brain cells left.  NONE!  Pregnancy brain is for real and I've got a bad case of it.  I can't remember my name most days.  I've really been slacking on the posting and the commenting lately because I just can't seem to formulate any thoughts.  I'll be back in the saddles as soon as I can figure out what day it is. :)

2. I think I may have found the magic solution to nausea and vomiting!  Woohoo!  My doctor suggested taking a Unisom at night and a B6 in the morning.  After about 3 days of doing that I am finally feeling a bit better.  Not great yet but not as bad as I was.  I kept everything down yesterday...that is a HUGE improvement!  I mean huge!

3.  I'm an emotional wreck!  It's kinda funny actually.  I cry at the silliest things...happy and sad...and things that aren't really either.  Sometimes my ridiculous tears make me laugh because I know it's so ridiculous.  I cried yesterday watching on of the players from the local football team retire.  He was a great player and everything but there is no reason why I would cry.  I'm more of a college football fan rather than pro.  Either way stuff like that has never made me cry before.  I cried this morning watching the news when they were talking about back to school.  Again, I have no clue.  Why would that make me cry?  It's weird I tell you.

4.I'm trying to be positive.  It's hard sometimes though.  One minute I'm feeling total joy and excitement about this little life inside me and the next second I'm freaking out, worried that something is going to happen.  It's funny because before my scare last weekend I really didn't think about miscarriage much.  I knew it was a possibility, and I knew I was at high risk for it according to the Napro folks but I really didn't think about it.  Deep down I just felt like everything was going to be fine.  Now I feel totally different.  It does consume my thoughts a lot of the time.  DH tries to reassure me.  He hates to see me stress about it.  He reminds me all the time that God is in control.  But I still struggle.  He tells me all the time like he just feels like God wants us to have this baby.  I pray he is right.

5.  I'm loving not going to work. It's so nice to be home.  I will admit though that I'm a little bored.  I know that will change once I'm feeling better.  It's just hard right now because I don't feel good enough to do much.  Heck, I haven't even been grocery shopping in like 4 weeks.  It's pretty ridiculous.  DH has just been stopping at the store on the way home from work.  I look around my house and see this disaster that I can't bring myself to clean.  I keep apologizing to DH because I feel bad.  He goes to work all day and then has to come home to a messy house and he is having to do the shopping.  He's doing everything around here.  He keeps saying he doesn't mind.  He says my only responsibility is to take care of Sweet Pea...he can handle the rest.  Have I mentioned how blessed I am?  Because I really am!

6.  I'm thinking about trying to teach myself how to sew.  I've always wanted to and I even have a sewing machine.  I would love to make things for our little one.  Any suggestions on books to help me learn?

7.  DH and I are going to a Rays baseball game tomorrow.  We aren't huge baseball fans (even though I played softball for 15 years) but I think we will have fun.  It will be nice to get out of the house.  We bought the tickets awhile back before I was pregnant.  We are going with our neighbors who we always go to USF Bulls football games with.  I guess it's USF night at the Trop so we got a huge discount on the tickets.  Should be fun...as long as there aren't any weird smells around to make me sick. 

Have a wonderful weekend ladies!

Sweet Pea Update

I wanted to update yesterday but I was feeling pretty crappy last night and could barely move.  I spent a lot of time trying to keep my dinner down...and I surely did not succeed. :(  It kept me up until about 3 am this morning so needless to say my exhaustion is even worse today.  I didn't know that was possible.

I had an ultrasound yesterday to check on little Sweet Pea.  S/he is doing well.  I heard a little hear beat that was music to my ears.  156 beats per minute!  My new favorite number.  It's funny because all weekend I convinced myself that everything was fine, which is actually very unusual for me.  I have a bad habit of always assuming the worst case.  I think it's my way of self preservation.  On Monday I even told dh not to worry about coming with me to the appointment...I regretted that when I got there.  I was so nervous.

The ultrasound tech told me everything looked fine and she couldn't even see a reason for the bleeding.  Then I met with the doctor.  He told me something totally different.  He said he could see bleeding around the pregnancy.  It's strange though because while he was telling me this I didn't get worried.  I explained the bleeding I had to him and looking back I really played it off like I didn't think it was a big deal.  I also mentioned that I had been having some mild cramping but played that off as well because I've had that from the beginning.

He quickly put me in my place though.  He said that he doesn't like to rest this early and I've still got another 5 weeks or so before we can sort of breathe.  Um...way to scare the pants off me doc!  He wants me to now come in every 2 weeks through out the first tri to get an ultrasound to make sure everything is ok.

I'm glad that he is wanting to be sort of proactive about it but at the same time I realize there is really nothing he can do.  If I am to miscarry there is nothing they can do to stop it this early on.  This is totally and completely in God's hands.  His will be done.  I am trying to remind myself of that everyday.

DH told me last night that he has been praying the rosary for me every morning.  He gets up much earlier than I do so I had no idea.  That made me feel wonderful.  I wish I could put into words for you ladies how amazing my husband is.  I truly am so blessed.  He's such a gift.

Thank you ladies for all of your prayers this weekend!  It feels so wonderful and reassuring to know that I've got people praying with me for our little miracle! 

I will leave you with two pictures of Sweet Pea taken at my first appointment last Thursday (I got two more yesterday but I can't find my camera and we don't have a scanner).

*Update* I Really Need Some Prayers!!!

I had planned on writing a post today about how great my doctors appointment went on Thursday and showing you some pictures of sweet pea. The appointment did go well, and I do have pictures, but that all changed last night. My doctor told me when I left Thursday afternoon that my cervix was really sensitive which isn't uncommon. She said that because of the pap she did I may have some spotting and not to panic. Well I figured the spotting would come that afternoon or maybe Friday morning. Instead I started spotting last night. Then the spotting got a little heavier. I prayed like I've never prayed before. Then this morning at about 4am I passed a clot. It was small but it was definitely a clot. Then I cried. I woke dh up and he cried too. I just know something is terribly wrong. Right now I am waiting for the doctor to call me back and dh is praying the rosary. If you could spare some prayers for us and little sweet pea I would really appreciate it. I'm at a loss right now and don't know what to do.

UPDATE:
I spoke with one of the doctors at the practice I go do. I must say she was less than helpful. Anyhow, she agreed that the bleeding more than likely had nothing to do with the pap. She just told me to get some rest and stay off my feet this weekend. She said if it gets worse to call on Monday and make another appointment for an ultrasound. I guess I kinda expected more from her even though I know there is nothing she can do. This early in the game it is totally in God's hands. There is nothing they can do for me if I begin to miscarry.

Fortunately to spotting has seemed to stop and the only clot was the one at 4am. I'm praying that it does not return and that everything is ok. I usually do my poi injections at night and I'm due for one today. I had dh go ahead and give it to me this morning. I'm not sure that that will actually help anything but at least I felt like I was doing something. I forgot to call ppvi yesterday to get my progesterone results. I'm going to call on Monday and maybe ask if I need some more supplementation. Anything to keep sweet pea growing!

Thank you all so much for all of your prayers! It means so much to me and to little sweet pea. :) I will keep you updated if anything changes.

Mush, Ick, and Feeling Blah

My brain has turned to mush.  I have to admit that I thought pregnancy brain couldn't possible be that bad.  I was wrong.  I have no clue what's going on up there in my head.  I am having difficulty formulating a sentence or remembering my name let alone writing an entire post.  This post is sure to be all over the place and probably not too upbeat.  I apologize now.  If you don't like randomness I would just stop reading now.  Ok?  I warned you. :)

I'm 7 weeks today and the "ick," as I like to call it, has set in full force.  Oh my gosh I feel like poo!  I feel like I'm trapped in a vicious cycle.  I have to eat because of the unbelievable hunger that makes me want to vomit or climb walls.  But then when I eat I struggle to keep it down.  I often fail at the last task.  I found myself lying on the floor of the bathroom this morning.  I was too exhausted to keep running back and forth from my bed to the toilet so I made the floor my new home.  I know it sounds gross but it made perfect since at the time.  In the brief reprieves I have, I am thankful for the nausea because it reassures me that my body is doing it's job and there really is a baby in there. But in the moments that everything wants to come up I have to admit I am not so thankful.  It's hard to be thankful when your insides hurt from dry heaving all day.  I try hard as I might though to offer it up for my prayer buddy.

I'm exhausted.  I have never in my life been this tired.  Most days I barely make it off my couch.  I hate it!  This is the one thing I can't stand.  I feel so unbelievably lazy that it makes me sick.  I feel guilty too.  DH is at work all day everyday earning a living for me and little sweet pea and I'm at home sitting on my bum.  The house is a disaster and it's everything I have in me to pull some sort of meal together for dinner.  Often he even does the dishes at night.  I feel terrible.  I am constantly apologizing to him.  He is so amazing though.  He tells me not to worry that I am working hard growing our baby.  I love that man!  I am so blessed!

On a happier note.  I have my first prenatal appointment tomorrow.  I am so excited!!!  I have a sono at 10:15 and then I meet with one of the doctors after.  I'm so excited to get to see sweet pea and hear his/her heart beat.  I'm hoping that this will make it all more real.  I still cannot believe this is happening to me.  I am beside myself with amazement.

Getting Involved

DH and I have been talking about getting involved more with our parish for awhile now (yes we discussed this before I had actually converted).  He had always mentioned possibly getting into working with engaged couples.  We have a great program at our parish and Fr. R takes this very very seriously.  I thought this would be fun but felt like maybe we haven't been married long enough (almost 4 years).  DH said it didn't matter.  He said that we have a wonderful marriage (and we do!) and he thinks that we may have a lot to offer.  We have been through a lot in our first 4 years of marriage (not just IF related) and rather than allow the stress of all of the craziness pull us apart we have grown so much closer together.  I actually often think back to our wedding day and think about what a silly little girl I was.  Sure, I loved dh, sure I wanted to marry him, sure I was sure.  But I had no clue!  No clue how much more I would love him (and need him) in the coming years.  And I know our love will only continue to grow.  So anyway, I began to pray about it...a lot.  And I felt like I wasn't really getting anywhere.  I felt like something just wasn't right.  I really didn't think that marriage prep was the way to go but I knew we should do something.

Fast forward to last Sunday night after Mass.  DH and I usually one of the lasts to leave the sanctuary (we actually stay for the last song to be entirely over...it seems like no one else does and we are one of the last standing).  As we are walking out K, the woman who runs Life Teen, stops us and asks if we have ever considered getting involved with the youth.  My face immediately lit up!  I have always wanted to work with a youth group.  The one I belonged to at the church I went to when I was a teen changed my life...and probably saved it too!  In my mind it would sort of be like paying it forward.  Besides, I love kids!  And although my specialty is special needs I think I can adapt.  However, I looked up at dh and he had this sort of deer in headlights look to him.  K encouraged him and told him not to be scared but I could see the fear.  She said she would like to set up a meeting with us if we wanted to and she would talk to us more this Sunday if we were interested.

As we left the vestibule Fr. R was standing outside.  DH and I went up to him because dh wanted to ask him for a blessing for me and for little sweet pea.  DH was telling him a very brief version of our IF story and mentioned that we had actually found out last weekend the weekend of my first Holy Communion.  Fr. R said that he thinks God has special plans for me and for little sweet pea.  :)  He then asked if we had ever considered getting involved in Life Teen.  Haha!  I could help but laugh.  DH asked if he and K had gotten together about this because she just asked us the same question.  He assured us he hadn't.  I could not believe it.  Too funny.

DH and I talked about it a bit more on the way home.  I can tell he is nervous about the idea.  I don't want to pressure him or anything but I sooooo want to do this.  I just think that it would be wonderful and a great way for us to get involved.  I think the high school years are so important.  It is such a difficult time in our lives, especially if we are trying to go against the grain and live out our faith.

DH isn't against it by any means.  He's just unsure.  Underneath his goofy, witty, exterior he really is shy.  I think the silliness is just his way of making himself more comfortable.  I'm just praying.  Praying that he will be clear in his decision and praying that God gives him courage.  I know he can do it...and I know kids would love him.  All of the kids in both of our families do!  He is great with them he just doesn't know it.

On another note.  Kaitlin, I promise I will get my post up about grocery shopping tomorrow. :)  It will take some work but I have saved so much money since I started all of this.  I promise. :)