Some Random Things

In case you missed it I introduced our beautiful daughter Mary-Grace and shamelessly posted pictures of her here. :)

I'm still working on her birth story but I've been having some random thoughts and thought I'd jot them down. I guess it's a sort of quick takes but I won't be numbering.

• Mary-Grace is only 11 days old and she has more nicknames than anyone could possibly need. She is known as Sweet Pea (that started before we knew we were having a girl). Pea Pod (b/c she loves her swaddle), Pumpkin, Pumpkin Butt, Mud-Pants (um...I'll let you figure that one out) and Baby (K likes to call things by what they are, he calls Oscar, our doxie, dog). I think there are more but my brain is malfunctioning at the moment.
• Recovery from labor would have been a piece of cake if it wasn't for the two tears I had. Yup, two! I had a 2nd degree tear as well as a tear that when upwards. I forget what they call it but thank goodness it missed the two important things that are up there!
• MG's head came out no problem and with no tearing. But, after her head came out while we were waiting my next urge to push the rest of her out, she decided to stick her arm out. Oops, she didn't get the memo that shoulders come before the arm.
• I still don't thinkI will believe that she is mine until she is like 12 years old.
• I have cried more in the last 11 days then I have in my entire life. Tears of joy, thanksgiving, excitement, amazement, and even some of sorrow. I feel like a walking basket case.
• I have the best husband in the world! Seriously! He has taken such good care of me. He just went back to work on Wednesday and up until that day I barely had to move. He did absolutely everything. He took what our Bradley instructor said seriously. During the postpartum period my only jobs are to eat, sleep, and feed the baby.
• I liked to think that K and I had no secrets. After all, we have been together for 10 years and married 4.5. But, I'm a lady and bodily functions are not something we discuss. :) I was under the assumption that he still figured I didn't have any of those sorts of things. Labor and recovery sure changed that! We have discussed the inner working of my digestive tract more over the last two weeks than I ever thought possible. I even made him come hold my hands the first time I went to the bathroom after MG's birth. I was so terrified and a nurse's hands just wouldn't do it. I needed my husband! I like that these things aren't taboo anymore. :)
• I just discussed my bathroom habits on the internet. Who am I???
• I seriously enjoyed praying for all of your intentions while in labor. I'll share how I did it in the birth story.
• I can't believe I'm a momma!
• K is the most awesome daddy! I didn't have to change one diaper when we were in the hospital.
• I have never understood how my mom walked away from her children. I really don't understand it now.
• I cannot believe how the weight is flying off! I have already lost 23lbs!
• I only gained 15!
• My belly feels and looks a bit like a marshmallow though. The weight seems to be coming off my butt and legs. I'm more than ok with that!
• I'm more attracted now to my husband than I ever have been.
• Maybe Irish Twins are in order.
• Haha! I can't believe I just said that less than two weeks after I gave birth.
• I'm just joking...maybe. :)
  
  I just remembered a few mire nicknames...Squeaker, squiggles, and Piglet!
  
  

Thank you all for the breastfeeding prayers. I won't say that things are getting better yet, however, I'm not as stressed about it. MG had a pedi appointment today and she has been gaining weight so at least I know she is getting plenty of food despite what she throws back up!

The Long Overdue Introduction

K and I Proudly Introduce You to Our Daughter

Mary-Grace Eloise

 Born Monday, March 21st, at 6:15pm

8lbs 7oz, 21.5 inches

I have so much I want to say about her birth.  It's such a long story involving 72 hours of hard labor (read contractions 2 minutes apart measuring off the charts when monitored) and not one minute of sleep.  I didn't know it was humanly possible to go that long without sleep.  I'm working hard on her birth story now and hope to have it up very soon! :)  I will say this, it went nothing as I expected.  I had to surrender and realize that my plan was not God's plan.  But every single second of it was worth it!  The moment they placed that gooey little person on my chest my world stood still and I saw a glimpse of Heaven.  And it was good!  So, so very good!

The last week and a half has been a whirlwind of emotions.  I cannot even begin to describe the transformation that is going on inside of me.  I am blessed beyond what I could ever put into words.  I have so much I want to tell you all I just can't seem to wrap my mind around it right now.  I will say that you all got lots of prayers offered up for you over the three day ordeal! :)  So until then, I leave you with pictures. :)

Finally a family of 3!  We both look so exhausted here! :)

  

I wish I could have recorded the thoughts that were going through my head at this moment.

Proud Daddy!

Welcome Home Mary-Grace!!!

My Princess!

 I do have one little request.  Prayer Buddy, if you're reading, could you please pray for Mary-Grace and I?  We are having a few feeding issues.  Apparently I am having an oversupply problem as well as a very forceful letdown.  I can't feel the let down so I can't pull her off to keep her from choking.  We are having a lot of choking and gagging at each feeding.  She is also spitting up A LOT!  As well as some vomiting.  It breaks my heart and I often feel like every time I feed her I'm hurting her.  Feeding are often met with tears from both of us.  I'm trying some techniques to help with the oversupply and the letdown but it takes time.  In the mean time things are really hard.  I am terrified that she is going to start gagging and need to vomit while she is sleeping and it's going to choke her.  If y'all could spare a prayer or two that we can get this resolved and that I can have peace of mind (this is where my anxiety disorder becomes a major issue), I would really appreciate it!

Why I Love My Husband (1)

I haven't done this yet but it's high time I do because I do have one amazing man for a husband! :)

1.  I haven't slept well in a really really long time.  Between getting up to pee an insane number of times each night to him snoring from his allergies, to not being comfortable, to insomnia, to his alarm going off at an insanely early time it's become near impossible.  It's been stressing me out because I'm afraid that I will have one of those nights with only and hour or two of sleep and then go into labor the next day.  That would not be good.  So yesterday K offered to blow up the air mattress and sleep in the living room (We no longer have a guest room b/c it's Mary-Grace's room and the office doesn't have room for a bed).  I told him he was crazy!  He said he wanted me to get as much sleep as possible between now and birth day so he would just sleep there until then.  Of course I didn't let him. :)  I don't want to sleep alone.  But it was so sweet of him to sacrifice a comfy bed for a cruddy air mattress for who knows how long.

2.  He prays a rosary with Mary-Grace every night before we go to sleep.  I often fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow but he keeps going.  He always starts and ends by blessing my belly and giving it a kiss.  It makes my heart melt.  I told him he should continue this once she's born, it could be part of their bedtime routine.  He said he already planned on that. :)

3.  He tells me every day what a good momma I'm going to be.  He knows how terrified I am.  We've talked about my fears with not having my mom around growing up and her not being her now.  And about how now Nana isn't here and how scared I am not having any help (there really will be no one here but K and I and I'm sad and scared about that).  So he makes sure to tell me how great I will do and how I'm already doing a good job.  It makes me feel really good. :)

4.  No matter what he is always on my side.  NO MATTER WHAT!  My MIL and I don't always get along.  We are just really really different people.  Whenever she tries to interfere and tell me what to do, especially regarding our baby, that I don't agree with, he always stands in my corner.  Even if he can see what she is trying to say, he will always back me up.  He may mention to me that I should think about what she said, but he would never say anything in front of anyone else.  I love that.  It shows that he respects me as his wife and trusts me to make the right decisions for our family.  I have seen MILs come between my sister and her husband as well as some friends and it is just very very sad.

*And just to clarify, I love my MIL.  We just have polar opposite personalities so we butt heads from time to time.  But I am very grateful for her.  She raised an amazing son that I get to call my husband and I will always be more than thankful for that!

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Just a little note to clarify how nutty I am about dates (I talked about this in my previous post).  When I buy something with an expiration date on it, such as milk, I look to see if there is a date with meaning on it.  For example, I bought milk the other day and there was one with the expiration date of 3/23.  That's Mary-Grace's due date so I had to get that one.  I told you, I'm a little nutty. :)

Also, thank you all for all of your encouragement throughout my last few posts.  I love you ladies!

Mary-Grace is just a bit stubborn like her mama...

Happy St. Patrick's Day!  Today is K's favorite feast day.  He's such a cheese ball and I love that! :)  When we were younger (and not so bright) we used to party hearty on this day.  But alas, now we are wiser older and someone happens to be pregnant. :)  There will be no partying for us.  There hasn't been for years.  Like I said, we are wiser older.  K is however decked out in his green polo for work today.  And as he is every day, St. Patrick is prominently displayed on his desk.  I bought the little statue for him for his birthday last year when I realized that he was also the patron saint of engineers (K is an engineer if I haven't mentioned that before).  He was excited to go to lunch today with one of his employees as he does every St. Patty's Day.  There is this really cool little Irish Pub down the street from his office that is usually only open for dinner.  However, every year on this day they open up for lunch.  The food there is AMAZING and if I didn't have my 39 week appointment today during his lunch time I would have totally crashed their party.  I was thinking about picking up some Guin.ness for him on my way home but I totally forgot.  Would it look bad if this huge pregnant lady was out buying beer?  I was joking with K the other night about how we needed to move to Europe.  Apparently it's perfectly acceptable, and often encouraged, for pregnant women to have a glass or two of wine or beer from time to time.  I do miss wine...and the occasional beer.  I'm not a huge drinker (especially since we became older wiser) but I did enjoy my wine.  I told K that when I can drink again I'm sure going to be a cheap date. :)

So today was the day we were predicting (hoping) to be Mary-Grace's birthday.  It's not exactly looking like that is going to happen.  I just got back from my 39 week appointment and I have made absolutely no progress.  None!  Nada!  I'm not sure what all of those contractions were on Monday but apparently they didn't do much of anything.  I'm still 50% effaced and have not started dilating.  She said my cervix was really tight.  Oh yippy.  She then told me to go home and go on lots of walks and have lots of sex.  Then I turned six shades of red because I'm still a child and that makes me all embarrassed.

I'm not going to lie...I am definitely discouraged.  I thought for sure we would have gotten somewhere.  She even said to me with a little chuckle that I might as well just plan on this baby being overdue.  I know, I know, due dates are arbitrary.  They don't really mean that much.  She'll come when she's good and ready...yada, yada.  I know, I'm the queen of telling people these things.  And to be honest, I don't know why it's bothering me so much.  I think I'm just tire.  I haven't slept in I have no clue how long.  I'm sore and uncomfortable and feel huge.  And, more than all of that, unknown things give me anxiety.  My anxiety is absolutely going bonkers right now.  It's not really an impatience thing, it's definitely an anxiety thing.  And, I really really just can't wait to meet this little girl.  I just want to hold her and count all her fingers and toes.

I've also got this strange OCD hang up thing with dates.  I don't know how to explain it, but it's pretty weird.  I like when things happen on dates with meaning.  They don't have to necessarily mean anything to anyone else, but they might have significance to me.  When I got my BFP on the same day I was received into the Church that was like the most amazing thing that could have happened to me.  There's something about dates.  And...since the doctor goes by the first day of your last period to determine due date that puts us at K's birthday.  It's things like that.  I'm always looking for things like that.  So when we realized that it was totally possible for MG to be born on St. Patrick's day we thought that would be amazing.  I also thought that Saturday, St. Joseph's feast day would be amazing too.  So driving home today after talking to the doctor I got a bit upset and discouraged.  I know it's really silly.  I'm just being honest here.

But then, when I got home I had an email notifying me of a comment on a previous post from dear sweet JBTC.  I love her!  And she seems to have the date significance thing going like I do. :)  She mentioned that Next Friday the 25th is the Feast of the Annunciation!  Um, how cool of a birthday would that be?  She reminded me that it's the first time the Angel Gabriel used the term "Hail Mary Full of Grace."  That definitely perked up my spirits just a little. :)  It's also the day before the due date the doctors gave me so I think it would be very fun to prove them wrong and not go past my date (even though according to my charting she's due on the 23rd).  I'm going to try really really hard not to let myself get stuck on a date though.  SHE WILL COME WHEN SHE IS GOOD AND READY AND NOT A DAY SOONER!  Now I just have to repeat that to myself over and over again. :)

On a completely different note.  Could you all spare a prayer or two for K?  He is having some difficulties at work dealing with being the only Catholic in a very Anti-Catholic environment.  It's a small, close knit office and things are getting pretty out of control.  He's having a really hard time.  A particular incident happened yesterday that he feels God calling him to address and he is very worried about it.  I wish I could go into more detail, but I probably shouldn't.  But trust me, you would be appalled!

Have a wonderful rest of the day! :)

Randomness

Randomness...I think that will define this post perfectly.  My mind is very scattered right now and I just need to vent.  Not vent as in I'm upset, more like I just need to get out everything that is running around in my mind. :)  Some of this will definitely be TMI so beware. ;)

*The contractions from yesterday have definitely slowed down.  However, I am much more crampy.  I also started to loose my mucus plug today... I think (sorry, I know that's kinda gross :) ).  I'm trying really hard not to look too much into it all but it's really hard not to.  Something is definitely going on but it doesn't mean she's coming now.  A girl in my Brad.ley Class for example, had these same sorts of signs including the mucus plug  and blood and still didn't go into labor for 3 weeks.


*I've had super bad heartburn today.  I have never in my life had heartburn...not even throughout this whole pregnancy and yet today I have it.  At least I think I do.  I imagine this is what heartburn feels like.  I don't like it at all!

*  I think my husband is a total hottie.  Like for real I can't stop staring at him.  Haha!  I've always thought he was a hottie but lately it seems very magnified. :)

*  K keeps telling me on a daily basis how beautiful I am.  He has always told me that but he says it different lately so I'm guessing he's feeling the same way I am.  He said he didn't realize how much more attractive pregnancy would make me.  I think he's off his rocker because I feel much more like a beached wale but I'll definitely take the compliments.  If he could have it his way I would be pregnant as often as possible.  Fine with me. :)  I've got some catching up to do.

*  Is it completely nutty that this baby isn't born yet and I'm already thinking about number 2?  I pray that we can have a number 2.  The IF mindset never leaves and the thought will always be in my mind that Dr. H called this a miracle pregnancy. Not that all babies aren't miracles.  He was just super surprised that it happened when it did because my body was a mess at the time.

*  K has been saying from day one that he would love for MG to be born on St. Patrick's Day.  It's his favorite day (of course the excuse to drink Guinn.ess helps :) ).  If she is my daughter she will come tomorrow or Friday just to be funny.  I'm not saying I'm stubborn or anything. ;)

*  I'm really hoping she doesn't come this weekend.  It's a full moon so L&D will be a flippin' madhouse!  It's going to be much harder to find a natural birth friendly nurse if they are super swamped with women having babies.  It will also seriously limit my chances of getting one of the two rooms that has a tub.  However, my best friend S would be supper thrilled.  Her birthday is on Sunday.

*  I don't know if I've mentioned this but my sister S is having a baby in July.  This will be number 3 for her (she's super fertile like the rest of my family she blinks and is pregnant).  She's having a girl too!  They are naming her Olivia Nicole (Nicole is my middle name too!).  I can't wait to buy MG and Olivia matching outfits!  My family is in serious need of girls!  There hasn't been any girls around these parts since my littlest sister was born 26 years ago.  We were due.

*  Yesterday I had absolutely no appetite whatsoever!  I was having to force food in me and still didn't eat hardly anything.  Today I could seriously eat us out of house and home!  I cannot eat enough to satisfy my hunger.  My body is weird.

*  I caved and bought Cad.bury Creme Eg.gs today.  MMMMMMMM!  They are my favorite!  I ate one and then realized that I had given up junk food for lent.  I'm doing other things as well, but I wanted to do something food related since I obviously can't fast.  Oops.  We aren't even a week in and I've already messed up. :(

*  I'm really missing my Nana right now.  I know it's because labor is nearing and I wish she was hear with me.  But knowing why doesn't make it hurt less.  If you could spare a prayer or two for my heart I would greatly appreciate.  It still feels very very broken.

Ok...I think I've rambled and bored you enough.  I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your Tuesday.  You are all always in my prayers...and on my labor prayer list just in case. :)

Long night and last chance for prayer requests.

I am exhausted!  Totally and completely exhausted!  I got absolutely no sleep last night and even thought that I was in labor for a bit.  It was interesting, let me tell you!

All day yesterday I had some pretty nasty cramps and lower backache.  Very similar to the cramps I would get for a day or two before the cramps that would land me in bed for days would show up.  It was definitely a familiar feeling.They progressively got worse throughout the day but I tried not to pay too much attention to them.

Last night after we got home from Mass and youth I noticed I was having contractions.  I didn't pay much attention to them though because I've been having them for weeks now and figured they were nothing.  I tried to go to bed but the left side of my back was hurting so bad that there was no getting comfortable.  Finally after awhile I got up and decided to take a warm bath hoping it would relieve some of the pressure.  I did have a moment where I thought it might not be a good idea to soak in a hot tub because if it was early labor it may possibly slow labor down.  However, the pain won out and I decided that even if it did slow labor I needed sleep so it would be worth it.

The bath was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!  Seriously!!!  I was immediately able to relax even though I could still feel the pain.  It was nice.  About 10 minutes in, K came into the bathroom looking for me.  He woke up and noticed I wasn't in bed and got a bit worried.  I told him about my back and that I just wanted to relax so I could go asleep.  He immediately got this silly grin on his face and I knew exactly what he was thinking.  I assured him that there was no way this was labor.  He just smiled.  I told him to go back to bed because he had work in the morning but he kept insisting that he couldn't sleep anyway.  There was no way I was going to convince him that he needed sleep.  I'm actually kind of glad he stayed with me.  He rubbed my back and neck and my feet.  We talked and I continued to try to convince him that this was not labor.  It was very nice though spending that time with him.  It was actually sort of romantic and it made me happy seeing how he was reacting to the thought that I may be in labor.  It made me realize that when the time comes he will be a wonderful coach.

After some time I got pretty hot and decided that maybe I should try again to get some sleep.  I laid in bed for another hour with contractions and back pain before I finally fell asleep.  I never got great sleep but I got about 3 hours of a sort of half sleep.

When I got up this morning I didn't notice many contractions.  They definitely weren't consistent.  I took a nap after being up for a few hours.  I don't think I've ever been that tired in my life.  When I got up I decided that I needed to eat something because all I had had all day was a glass of orange juice.  That didn't go so well.  After just a few bites I started to feel really sick to my stomach.  So instead I opted for a popsicle.  I was having more and more contractions so over the last hour or so I've decided to time them.  They are averaging 6 minutes apart and about a minute long.  However, that really is just average.  In that there have been a few that only last 30 seconds and some that are 8 minutes apart.  To be honest, I still don't think it's anything to write home about.  I've got the contractions going for me but I'm certainly not showing any of the emotional signs of labor.  If Brad.ley is right I should be excited and sort of "putsy putsy" right now and that I am not.  I'm just tired and lazy.

However, this has made me realize that labor really can be any day now.  So, I thought I would give you all another opportunity to get in your prayer requests before the big day.  I really would love to pray for you all and offer up the pains of labor for your intentions.  Leave a comment or email me at ktmathewson at gmail dot com.

On a different note.  I was talking to a friend of mine last night at church.  She is a labor and delivery nurse who is also going back to school to be a midwife.  K jokingly said to her that we were going to call her when I was in labor so that she could come with us (she doesn't work at our hospital).  She jumped at the opportunity.  So, if she isn't working she is going to join us for the birth.  I think this is awesome!!!  K and I have already hired a doula that we love but I think it will be great to also have a nurse who does this every day (but happens to seriously prefer to see it done naturally) be with us.  It will be wonderful to have someone who knows the medical lingo with us.  I'm so stinking excited!

Oh and one more thing.  If you have a spare moment, could you also pray for me.  Please pray for a safe and healthy delivery for both Mary-Grace and myself.  Also pray that I will know when labor is real.  I tend to doubt myself a lot. K is pretty worried that I will keep dismissing it because I have a ridiculously high pain tolerance.  Our hospital is about an hour away without traffic and he is worried I'll deliver in the car. :)  I think that's pretty funny.

This Is Why I Live In Florida

There are certain times of the year when I wish K and I would move somewhere different.  This usually happens during fall when I see all the beautiful fall pictures from people who live in the Carolinas or Virginia. I look at all the beautiful colors and wish I could see that.  Sometimes I wish we had snow.  Especially around Christmas time.  Then there is Florida summers.  Oh my they are so hot!  Especially July and August.  There's nothing like 98 degree temps with humidity that makes it feel like 120.  It really is the humidity that will get you.

Then there is the times every now and again that I just want to go somewhere new.  Somewhere where no one knows us.  Somewhere where we can start over and be whoever and whatever we want to be.  Both K and I have lived here our whole lives.  Not just in the state, but in the area.  We live about 20 minutes away from both of our childhood homes where our parents still live.  Of course this is wonderful.  Very few people live in the same area as their entire family and yet both of us do.  It will be wonderful when MG gets here.  We will never have to search for a babysitter.  It's so nice to have family around.  But, sometimes I still long for somewhere new.

But then there are days like Saturday.  Days when I am reminded why I live in Florida, and why I'll probably never leave.

Saturday K and I took a day trip to Ft. Des.oto.  It's only about an hour away.  We used to go all the time when we were dating but it seems that lately life has taken over and we haven't been in well over a year.  Saturday the weather was beautiful.  The forecast called for a cloudy day and it was when we left our house.  I was disappointed but figured at least it wouldn't be too hot.  However when we got there there was blue skies and a wonderful breeze that kept the temp from feeling too bad.  (In reality the temps are only in the low 80's which isn't too bad but this little girl in my belly also acts as a space heater)

This beach is the perfect mix of white sand and plenty of trees.  There are picnic areas that are totally wooded and tree lined but where you can still see the water.  Then you can walk along and be on white sandy beaches.  There are tons of picnic tables, grills, bench swings, playgrounds, and covered areas for parties.  There is an old fort that you can walk through, a camping area, and a dog beach.  There is a reason it has been voted best beach in the US.  It's beautiful!

We decided to have lunch right when we got there because we got a late start and it was already 1:00.  Usually we grill something but this time decided to just grab some Pub.lix Subs on the way.  YUM!

This is a view from our picnic table.  This was actually taken the last time we went.  I forgot to take one this time but we were sitting at the same table.

After lunch we went on a short walk.  Short because I'm 37 weeks pregnant and swollen. I don't move so well lately. :)

See.  SWOLLEN!  You should see my feet.  They aren't recognizable! 

Beautiful!

 
Along the trail, K noticed a little path through the trees that had obviously been created because people kept walking through it.  It wasn't supposed to be there.  I wasn't sure about going through because I didn't want to trip on all of the mangrove roots.  But K convinced me.

How could I say no to that?

I was so glad I did!  This is what was on the other side.

It was an adorable little secluded beach area.  Not much sand though.  I think if the tide was up we wouldn't have been able to get back there.

After hanging out there for awhile we decided to head back and drive down to another area of the park searching for some beach area to lay a blanket and relax.  You can't park too close to the beach so we found an area that didn't seem too busy and parked.  We gathered our things and went searching.  We found this...

Please excuse my ugly cr.ocs!  They are the only shoes I can find to fit my fat feet.

I enjoyed watching these two little guys.  They were hilarious!

This little guy was cool too!

After we left we took the long way home and stopped by Pasa Gri.ll.  This a little beach area just North of St. Pet.e Be.ach.  Again, beautiful area.  Such a cute little beach town right next to the famous Do.n Cesa.r Hotel.  I've never stayed there...but I will one day. :)

Of course I forgot to get any pictures there.  I actually started having quite a few contractions while we were walking on the beach there.  It got pretty uncomfortable at times so we decided to leave.

Besides, this girl was getting super hungry so we decided to finish the night off at my favorite restaurant, Bah.ama Br.eeze.  It's located right on the bay and has a wonderful patio overlooking the water.  They have a beachy band playing every weekend.  You kind of feel like you are on vacation there.  Not to mention the food is awesome!  I really wanted a Bahamarita but decided that I should probably wait until MG was actually here. :)

It was such a wonderful and much needed day.  Things have been so stressful lately and I've sort of been in a funk.  I feel much much better.  I think all of the walking did me some good too.  I think MG dropped a bit.  For a long time her little bum has been up in my ribs, this morning I noticed that she is several inches lower.  I can breathe so much better!  Now if I could find a way for all of the contractions I have to be more during the day than at night when I'm trying to sleep I would be really grateful.  The contractions aren't too uncomfortable and I'm sure I could sleep through them, and probably do through most of them, but when I move at night during one, it jolts me right out of my sleep.  It's just such a reminder that my little girl will be here any day now.  Its so crazy!  I'm ready.  I wasn't sure I was ready yet just a few days ago, but something changed.  All of a sudden, last night I realized that I just can't wait.  I don't care that I still have several things to do, I want to meet my little girl.  Everything else can wait. :)