Prayer Buddy...

...YOU ROCK MY SOCKS!!!

Bfing is going much much better (knock on wood). We seemed to have figured out the issues and both of us are much happier!

Thank you! Thank you!

And just because I can, I leave you with a picture of my Peanut Brittle (or butter depending on the day).






She's just a tad milk drunk. :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A Few Questions

Prayer Buddy, I still need your prayers.  Mary-Grace's gagging and throwing up (I'm not calling it spitting up because it's much more than that) is getting worse.  It's getting to the point where nearly every time I feed her she is choking, gagging, and throwing up.  Sometimes it's immediate, sometimes it takes a little while.  It's really heartbreaking.  The thing that scares me is that when she chokes it's silent.  Today about 45 minutes after I fed her, I propped her up in her Boppy while she was napping.  I've been doing this during the day because I'm scared to lay her on her back when I'm not right next to her for fear that if she throws up she will choke and I won't hear it.  Anyway, I had her propped up and went to check on her.  When I did she was choking (silently) and her face was beet red.  I grabbed her and flipped her over and she threw up.  It terrified me.  So now I've got her propped in her boppy sitting on the couch with me and I'm scared to go anywhere where I can't see her.

I've tried all the tricks for women with a forceful letdown.  Holding her upright after a feeding for 30 minutes, feeding her less but more frequently, feeding her before she is starving, feeding her when she is calm, burping her often, feeding her with her head higher than the breast, etc.  Unfortunately nothing seems to be working.

I'm beginning to think that there is something more to this than a forceful letdown.  I decided last night to give up dairy to see if maybe she has a dairy sensitivity.  I know that is pretty common.  I haven't had any dairy today (that is a huge feat for me :) ), but I'm sure it will take a day or two to get it all out of my system.  I'm hoping this make a difference.  If not I'm going to call the doctor.  I'm thinking reflux may be the issue.  I'm trying really hard not to be the paranoid new mom but this is hard.  I don't like seeing my baby uncomfortable.  It is making my anxiety level go through the roof.  I'm trying to manage the anxiety on my own but it is getting increasingly hard.  If any of you have any other suggestions of things to try I'm all ears!

I have another question.  I'm wanting to pump a little.  I don't need a huge supply of stored milk since I'm not working, but I would like a some.  My sister breastfed her 2nd baby but did not introduce a bottle (with breast milk) until he was 6 months old.  This turned out to be a huge mistake.  He wanted nothing to do with that bottle and absolutely refused.  The bad thing was that at the time she did it she had no choice.  Something came up where she absolutely had to be separated from him.  It was a nightmare and I don't want that.  There are somethings that are coming up in a few months where a bottle will be necessary.  I don't want to wait until then to try.  Anyhoo...my question is, when should I pump?  I only feed Mary-Grace on one side at each feeding.  So should I just pump the other side at the same time or right after?  Or do I pump at some point between feedings?  I googled but couldn't find much.

Oooh, one more question.  Pacifiers...
I was very against them at first.  However, someone told me that if I give her one while she is sleeping it may help with the gagging and choking.  Have any of you heard this?  I'm willing to try it out if it may help!

**UPDATE**

I forgot about one more question.  What brand ring sling do you have?  I have a Moby Wrap but want asling as well.

The positive in all of this...because I've got to look at the positive...is that I'm offering all of this up for you ladies.  Especially you prayer buddy and those of you still waiting.  I'm certainly keeping God busy. :)

Some Random Things

In case you missed it I introduced our beautiful daughter Mary-Grace and shamelessly posted pictures of her here. :)

I'm still working on her birth story but I've been having some random thoughts and thought I'd jot them down. I guess it's a sort of quick takes but I won't be numbering.

• Mary-Grace is only 11 days old and she has more nicknames than anyone could possibly need. She is known as Sweet Pea (that started before we knew we were having a girl). Pea Pod (b/c she loves her swaddle), Pumpkin, Pumpkin Butt, Mud-Pants (um...I'll let you figure that one out) and Baby (K likes to call things by what they are, he calls Oscar, our doxie, dog). I think there are more but my brain is malfunctioning at the moment.
• Recovery from labor would have been a piece of cake if it wasn't for the two tears I had. Yup, two! I had a 2nd degree tear as well as a tear that when upwards. I forget what they call it but thank goodness it missed the two important things that are up there!
• MG's head came out no problem and with no tearing. But, after her head came out while we were waiting my next urge to push the rest of her out, she decided to stick her arm out. Oops, she didn't get the memo that shoulders come before the arm.
• I still don't thinkI will believe that she is mine until she is like 12 years old.
• I have cried more in the last 11 days then I have in my entire life. Tears of joy, thanksgiving, excitement, amazement, and even some of sorrow. I feel like a walking basket case.
• I have the best husband in the world! Seriously! He has taken such good care of me. He just went back to work on Wednesday and up until that day I barely had to move. He did absolutely everything. He took what our Bradley instructor said seriously. During the postpartum period my only jobs are to eat, sleep, and feed the baby.
• I liked to think that K and I had no secrets. After all, we have been together for 10 years and married 4.5. But, I'm a lady and bodily functions are not something we discuss. :) I was under the assumption that he still figured I didn't have any of those sorts of things. Labor and recovery sure changed that! We have discussed the inner working of my digestive tract more over the last two weeks than I ever thought possible. I even made him come hold my hands the first time I went to the bathroom after MG's birth. I was so terrified and a nurse's hands just wouldn't do it. I needed my husband! I like that these things aren't taboo anymore. :)
• I just discussed my bathroom habits on the internet. Who am I???
• I seriously enjoyed praying for all of your intentions while in labor. I'll share how I did it in the birth story.
• I can't believe I'm a momma!
• K is the most awesome daddy! I didn't have to change one diaper when we were in the hospital.
• I have never understood how my mom walked away from her children. I really don't understand it now.
• I cannot believe how the weight is flying off! I have already lost 23lbs!
• I only gained 15!
• My belly feels and looks a bit like a marshmallow though. The weight seems to be coming off my butt and legs. I'm more than ok with that!
• I'm more attracted now to my husband than I ever have been.
• Maybe Irish Twins are in order.
• Haha! I can't believe I just said that less than two weeks after I gave birth.
• I'm just joking...maybe. :)
  
  I just remembered a few mire nicknames...Squeaker, squiggles, and Piglet!
  
  

Thank you all for the breastfeeding prayers. I won't say that things are getting better yet, however, I'm not as stressed about it. MG had a pedi appointment today and she has been gaining weight so at least I know she is getting plenty of food despite what she throws back up!

The Long Overdue Introduction

K and I Proudly Introduce You to Our Daughter

Mary-Grace Eloise

 Born Monday, March 21st, at 6:15pm

8lbs 7oz, 21.5 inches

I have so much I want to say about her birth.  It's such a long story involving 72 hours of hard labor (read contractions 2 minutes apart measuring off the charts when monitored) and not one minute of sleep.  I didn't know it was humanly possible to go that long without sleep.  I'm working hard on her birth story now and hope to have it up very soon! :)  I will say this, it went nothing as I expected.  I had to surrender and realize that my plan was not God's plan.  But every single second of it was worth it!  The moment they placed that gooey little person on my chest my world stood still and I saw a glimpse of Heaven.  And it was good!  So, so very good!

The last week and a half has been a whirlwind of emotions.  I cannot even begin to describe the transformation that is going on inside of me.  I am blessed beyond what I could ever put into words.  I have so much I want to tell you all I just can't seem to wrap my mind around it right now.  I will say that you all got lots of prayers offered up for you over the three day ordeal! :)  So until then, I leave you with pictures. :)

Finally a family of 3!  We both look so exhausted here! :)

  

I wish I could have recorded the thoughts that were going through my head at this moment.

Proud Daddy!

Welcome Home Mary-Grace!!!

My Princess!

 I do have one little request.  Prayer Buddy, if you're reading, could you please pray for Mary-Grace and I?  We are having a few feeding issues.  Apparently I am having an oversupply problem as well as a very forceful letdown.  I can't feel the let down so I can't pull her off to keep her from choking.  We are having a lot of choking and gagging at each feeding.  She is also spitting up A LOT!  As well as some vomiting.  It breaks my heart and I often feel like every time I feed her I'm hurting her.  Feeding are often met with tears from both of us.  I'm trying some techniques to help with the oversupply and the letdown but it takes time.  In the mean time things are really hard.  I am terrified that she is going to start gagging and need to vomit while she is sleeping and it's going to choke her.  If y'all could spare a prayer or two that we can get this resolved and that I can have peace of mind (this is where my anxiety disorder becomes a major issue), I would really appreciate it!

Why I Love My Husband (1)

I haven't done this yet but it's high time I do because I do have one amazing man for a husband! :)

1.  I haven't slept well in a really really long time.  Between getting up to pee an insane number of times each night to him snoring from his allergies, to not being comfortable, to insomnia, to his alarm going off at an insanely early time it's become near impossible.  It's been stressing me out because I'm afraid that I will have one of those nights with only and hour or two of sleep and then go into labor the next day.  That would not be good.  So yesterday K offered to blow up the air mattress and sleep in the living room (We no longer have a guest room b/c it's Mary-Grace's room and the office doesn't have room for a bed).  I told him he was crazy!  He said he wanted me to get as much sleep as possible between now and birth day so he would just sleep there until then.  Of course I didn't let him. :)  I don't want to sleep alone.  But it was so sweet of him to sacrifice a comfy bed for a cruddy air mattress for who knows how long.

2.  He prays a rosary with Mary-Grace every night before we go to sleep.  I often fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow but he keeps going.  He always starts and ends by blessing my belly and giving it a kiss.  It makes my heart melt.  I told him he should continue this once she's born, it could be part of their bedtime routine.  He said he already planned on that. :)

3.  He tells me every day what a good momma I'm going to be.  He knows how terrified I am.  We've talked about my fears with not having my mom around growing up and her not being her now.  And about how now Nana isn't here and how scared I am not having any help (there really will be no one here but K and I and I'm sad and scared about that).  So he makes sure to tell me how great I will do and how I'm already doing a good job.  It makes me feel really good. :)

4.  No matter what he is always on my side.  NO MATTER WHAT!  My MIL and I don't always get along.  We are just really really different people.  Whenever she tries to interfere and tell me what to do, especially regarding our baby, that I don't agree with, he always stands in my corner.  Even if he can see what she is trying to say, he will always back me up.  He may mention to me that I should think about what she said, but he would never say anything in front of anyone else.  I love that.  It shows that he respects me as his wife and trusts me to make the right decisions for our family.  I have seen MILs come between my sister and her husband as well as some friends and it is just very very sad.

*And just to clarify, I love my MIL.  We just have polar opposite personalities so we butt heads from time to time.  But I am very grateful for her.  She raised an amazing son that I get to call my husband and I will always be more than thankful for that!

***********************************************************************************

Just a little note to clarify how nutty I am about dates (I talked about this in my previous post).  When I buy something with an expiration date on it, such as milk, I look to see if there is a date with meaning on it.  For example, I bought milk the other day and there was one with the expiration date of 3/23.  That's Mary-Grace's due date so I had to get that one.  I told you, I'm a little nutty. :)

Also, thank you all for all of your encouragement throughout my last few posts.  I love you ladies!

Mary-Grace is just a bit stubborn like her mama...

Happy St. Patrick's Day!  Today is K's favorite feast day.  He's such a cheese ball and I love that! :)  When we were younger (and not so bright) we used to party hearty on this day.  But alas, now we are wiser older and someone happens to be pregnant. :)  There will be no partying for us.  There hasn't been for years.  Like I said, we are wiser older.  K is however decked out in his green polo for work today.  And as he is every day, St. Patrick is prominently displayed on his desk.  I bought the little statue for him for his birthday last year when I realized that he was also the patron saint of engineers (K is an engineer if I haven't mentioned that before).  He was excited to go to lunch today with one of his employees as he does every St. Patty's Day.  There is this really cool little Irish Pub down the street from his office that is usually only open for dinner.  However, every year on this day they open up for lunch.  The food there is AMAZING and if I didn't have my 39 week appointment today during his lunch time I would have totally crashed their party.  I was thinking about picking up some Guin.ness for him on my way home but I totally forgot.  Would it look bad if this huge pregnant lady was out buying beer?  I was joking with K the other night about how we needed to move to Europe.  Apparently it's perfectly acceptable, and often encouraged, for pregnant women to have a glass or two of wine or beer from time to time.  I do miss wine...and the occasional beer.  I'm not a huge drinker (especially since we became older wiser) but I did enjoy my wine.  I told K that when I can drink again I'm sure going to be a cheap date. :)

So today was the day we were predicting (hoping) to be Mary-Grace's birthday.  It's not exactly looking like that is going to happen.  I just got back from my 39 week appointment and I have made absolutely no progress.  None!  Nada!  I'm not sure what all of those contractions were on Monday but apparently they didn't do much of anything.  I'm still 50% effaced and have not started dilating.  She said my cervix was really tight.  Oh yippy.  She then told me to go home and go on lots of walks and have lots of sex.  Then I turned six shades of red because I'm still a child and that makes me all embarrassed.

I'm not going to lie...I am definitely discouraged.  I thought for sure we would have gotten somewhere.  She even said to me with a little chuckle that I might as well just plan on this baby being overdue.  I know, I know, due dates are arbitrary.  They don't really mean that much.  She'll come when she's good and ready...yada, yada.  I know, I'm the queen of telling people these things.  And to be honest, I don't know why it's bothering me so much.  I think I'm just tire.  I haven't slept in I have no clue how long.  I'm sore and uncomfortable and feel huge.  And, more than all of that, unknown things give me anxiety.  My anxiety is absolutely going bonkers right now.  It's not really an impatience thing, it's definitely an anxiety thing.  And, I really really just can't wait to meet this little girl.  I just want to hold her and count all her fingers and toes.

I've also got this strange OCD hang up thing with dates.  I don't know how to explain it, but it's pretty weird.  I like when things happen on dates with meaning.  They don't have to necessarily mean anything to anyone else, but they might have significance to me.  When I got my BFP on the same day I was received into the Church that was like the most amazing thing that could have happened to me.  There's something about dates.  And...since the doctor goes by the first day of your last period to determine due date that puts us at K's birthday.  It's things like that.  I'm always looking for things like that.  So when we realized that it was totally possible for MG to be born on St. Patrick's day we thought that would be amazing.  I also thought that Saturday, St. Joseph's feast day would be amazing too.  So driving home today after talking to the doctor I got a bit upset and discouraged.  I know it's really silly.  I'm just being honest here.

But then, when I got home I had an email notifying me of a comment on a previous post from dear sweet JBTC.  I love her!  And she seems to have the date significance thing going like I do. :)  She mentioned that Next Friday the 25th is the Feast of the Annunciation!  Um, how cool of a birthday would that be?  She reminded me that it's the first time the Angel Gabriel used the term "Hail Mary Full of Grace."  That definitely perked up my spirits just a little. :)  It's also the day before the due date the doctors gave me so I think it would be very fun to prove them wrong and not go past my date (even though according to my charting she's due on the 23rd).  I'm going to try really really hard not to let myself get stuck on a date though.  SHE WILL COME WHEN SHE IS GOOD AND READY AND NOT A DAY SOONER!  Now I just have to repeat that to myself over and over again. :)

On a completely different note.  Could you all spare a prayer or two for K?  He is having some difficulties at work dealing with being the only Catholic in a very Anti-Catholic environment.  It's a small, close knit office and things are getting pretty out of control.  He's having a really hard time.  A particular incident happened yesterday that he feels God calling him to address and he is very worried about it.  I wish I could go into more detail, but I probably shouldn't.  But trust me, you would be appalled!

Have a wonderful rest of the day! :)

Randomness

Randomness...I think that will define this post perfectly.  My mind is very scattered right now and I just need to vent.  Not vent as in I'm upset, more like I just need to get out everything that is running around in my mind. :)  Some of this will definitely be TMI so beware. ;)

*The contractions from yesterday have definitely slowed down.  However, I am much more crampy.  I also started to loose my mucus plug today... I think (sorry, I know that's kinda gross :) ).  I'm trying really hard not to look too much into it all but it's really hard not to.  Something is definitely going on but it doesn't mean she's coming now.  A girl in my Brad.ley Class for example, had these same sorts of signs including the mucus plug  and blood and still didn't go into labor for 3 weeks.


*I've had super bad heartburn today.  I have never in my life had heartburn...not even throughout this whole pregnancy and yet today I have it.  At least I think I do.  I imagine this is what heartburn feels like.  I don't like it at all!

*  I think my husband is a total hottie.  Like for real I can't stop staring at him.  Haha!  I've always thought he was a hottie but lately it seems very magnified. :)

*  K keeps telling me on a daily basis how beautiful I am.  He has always told me that but he says it different lately so I'm guessing he's feeling the same way I am.  He said he didn't realize how much more attractive pregnancy would make me.  I think he's off his rocker because I feel much more like a beached wale but I'll definitely take the compliments.  If he could have it his way I would be pregnant as often as possible.  Fine with me. :)  I've got some catching up to do.

*  Is it completely nutty that this baby isn't born yet and I'm already thinking about number 2?  I pray that we can have a number 2.  The IF mindset never leaves and the thought will always be in my mind that Dr. H called this a miracle pregnancy. Not that all babies aren't miracles.  He was just super surprised that it happened when it did because my body was a mess at the time.

*  K has been saying from day one that he would love for MG to be born on St. Patrick's Day.  It's his favorite day (of course the excuse to drink Guinn.ess helps :) ).  If she is my daughter she will come tomorrow or Friday just to be funny.  I'm not saying I'm stubborn or anything. ;)

*  I'm really hoping she doesn't come this weekend.  It's a full moon so L&D will be a flippin' madhouse!  It's going to be much harder to find a natural birth friendly nurse if they are super swamped with women having babies.  It will also seriously limit my chances of getting one of the two rooms that has a tub.  However, my best friend S would be supper thrilled.  Her birthday is on Sunday.

*  I don't know if I've mentioned this but my sister S is having a baby in July.  This will be number 3 for her (she's super fertile like the rest of my family she blinks and is pregnant).  She's having a girl too!  They are naming her Olivia Nicole (Nicole is my middle name too!).  I can't wait to buy MG and Olivia matching outfits!  My family is in serious need of girls!  There hasn't been any girls around these parts since my littlest sister was born 26 years ago.  We were due.

*  Yesterday I had absolutely no appetite whatsoever!  I was having to force food in me and still didn't eat hardly anything.  Today I could seriously eat us out of house and home!  I cannot eat enough to satisfy my hunger.  My body is weird.

*  I caved and bought Cad.bury Creme Eg.gs today.  MMMMMMMM!  They are my favorite!  I ate one and then realized that I had given up junk food for lent.  I'm doing other things as well, but I wanted to do something food related since I obviously can't fast.  Oops.  We aren't even a week in and I've already messed up. :(

*  I'm really missing my Nana right now.  I know it's because labor is nearing and I wish she was hear with me.  But knowing why doesn't make it hurt less.  If you could spare a prayer or two for my heart I would greatly appreciate.  It still feels very very broken.

Ok...I think I've rambled and bored you enough.  I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your Tuesday.  You are all always in my prayers...and on my labor prayer list just in case. :)