On Thursday, March 22nd, I had my 41 week appointment. I was now 9 days "overdue" and completely exhausted. About an hour before I was to leave for my appointment I began having some cramping much like period cramps and light spotting. I tried not to get my hopes up that this was the start of things because I had been having contractions on and off for weeks. At my appointment I asked my midwife, Kim, to check my progress. I was 1.5-2 cm dilated and 85% effaced - the same as the week prior. She offered to help "stir things up," meaning strip my membranes. I was all too happy to have her do this. I had less than a week for Hannah to arrive before I would be forced to transfer to a hospital to be induced. We left my appointment with a slip to have an ultrasound on the following Monday to check fluid levels and instructions to do a lot of pelvic rocks (Hannah seemed to have her head in a funny position so we were trying to encourage her to tuck her head), walk, have sex (Seriously, how many 41 week pregnant women want to do this?) and get some rest. The 3 of us went to lunch at 5 G.uys before K headed back to work. I decided that maybe Mary-Grace and I should make a quick stop at Target. I figured while I tried not to spend too much money I could at least get some walking in. :)
That evening I struggled to eat much at dinner. My stomach was queezy and I was exhausted and anxious. I was still having mild cramping and spotting but nothing more than earlier in the day. We put Mary-Grace to bed and I went on a cleaning spree trying to get the house spotless. Although I was trying not to get my hopes up, I had a strong feeling that Hannah would be arriving the next day. At about 9:30 we heard MG screaming from her crib. She had been teething so it wasn't unusual for her to wake up fussy and go right back to sleep. These screams seemed different to me though so I asked K to go check on her. Within a minute or two I heard him calling me to her room. My poor Peanut had thrown up all over herself and her crib. K took her to give her a bath while I cleaned up her crib and put new sheets on. After her bath he took her to our room to get her dressed. The poor thing then threw up all over our bed. I brought her into the living room with me to snuggle with her where she threw up on me another 5 times. Finally, after a few hours, she went back to sleep. I looked at the clock and realized it was after 11:30pm. I started flipping out. I got snappy with K (like it was his fault) and started complaining about how I needed sleep. I kept telling K that staying up this late was a really, really bad idea.
Finally, a little after midnight, I climbed into bed. Almost immediately after laying down, I noticed a few contractions. I tried not to pay too much attention to them and go to sleep. I'm not sure exactly what time, but at some point I noticed that I was waking up for contractions and falling asleep between them. At 3:00am, I woke up for a contraction that seemed much stronger and could not go back to sleep. I did this for about an hour and finally decided to wake K up at 4:00am. I told him what had been going on and asked if he would time them for me. I mentioned that I thought they might be 10 or so minutes apart and sure enough they were. After only timing about 3 contractions they went from 10 minutes apart to 8 minutes to 6 minutes to 5 minutes. By 5:30am K suggested I call my midwife. She lives over an hour away and needed plenty of time to get to us. I hesitated to call her for a minute, still worried that maybe this wasn't really it, but then decided that I really didn't want to have K deliver this baby without her. After a few questions from her she said she was on her way. I then called my doula, Dee, who said she was on her way as well. Then K decided that he should call my sister S. Mary-Grace would be waking up any minute and we needed her to help take care of her while I labored. I couldn't hear my sister's side of the conversation, but I could tell by K's reaction that she was very, very excited.
After I knew Kim, Dee and S were on their way it suddenly started to become very real to me. All of a sudden I had a huge urge to do my hair. Why? I have no clue! I knew that once labor really got going my hair would be a wreck and I wouldn't care anyway, but none the less, I JUST HAD TO DO IT. While I went to pretty myself up K headed out to the kitchen to make sure all of the dishes were done and things were at least picked up. While straightening my hair I continued to time contractions and noticed that they were now 3-4 minutes apart. After I finished, I thought I should put a little makeup on. However, not two seconds after this thought crossed my mind I had a HUGE contractions and decided to just forget it. I grabbed my birthing ball and decided to sit down and rock on it for awhile. K then came back in the room and said it would probably be a good idea to give Kaitlin a call. It was 6:00am at this point and I figured he was right. She did have a 4 hour drive after all. I was so worried that I would have her come and I wouldn't really be in labor. For some reason this phone call was very memorable to me. When she answered the phone it was in the sweetest little whisper. I could tell that she knew that if I was calling her this early in the morning it was for one reason only. Our conversation was short and sweet and she was on her way. When I hung up the phone I knew for sure that this was it. Hannah was coming today!
I rolled my ball over to the side of my bed and continued to rock on it using the side of my bed to steady myself between contractions. K came back in and put my labor playlist on for me...then the doorbell rang. Kim, my midwife, was already hear. She made it in less than 45 minutes! She came in our room, spoke very softly, got quiet while I had a contraction, and asked me questions. When she was done she took my temperature and blood pressure, all while I sat on my ball. She then asked if I wanted her to check me to see where we were. Of course I said yes, but I was so nervous! I was terrified she was going to tell me I was only 1-2 cm. I climbed up on my bed, closed my eyes, and prayed I was making progress. Then she said something that was music to me ears. I was 4cm! "Wahoo!" I thought. Then she told me to hold on a second, she did something with her hand, and then said "Great! Now your 6cm." "Wait...what?" I asked her. She repeated herself and I began to laugh right through a contraction. It took me 3 whole days to make it to 3 cm with Mary-Grace and here I was, only a few hours into labor, and I was already 6.
At some point after this, Dee, my doula, and S, my sister arrived. I knew Mary-Grace was awake so I decided to head into the living room with everyone to spend a few minutes with my Peanut before she became a big sister. When I walked into the room my baby girl was relaxing in her chair drinking her milk. My sister had her daughter Olivia in her the high chair feeding her breakfast. I kissed my Peanut and sat down on the couch to talk to everyone. Surprisingly, it didn't seem to bother me that people were talking while I had contractions. I liked the feel of how relaxed everything was - It was very comforting. I said something to K and my sister about Mary-Grace needing breakfast. I started to tell them how to make her oatmeal but then decided I wanted to do it myself. I walked the few steps to the kitchen and had 3 hard contractions back to back. I heard my midwife comment to my doula that they seemed to be picking up. She then suggested to me that I get into the tub and try to relax. I agreed and quickly gave S instructions between a few contractions.
By the time I got to our bathroom, the tub was already filled. I climbed in and OH MY GOSH, it felt amazing. It definitely doesn't take away pain from contractions, but it sure does make it easier to relax through. I spent a few hours in the tub (about 3 1/2). K and Dee sat next to me. They encouraged me to drink water and Gatorade and offered me food (which I declined). After awhile I mentioned that I was getting hot so Dee got cold wash cloths for my head, chest and back. K went and got the small fan we bought to help cool me down. The 3 of us chatted between contractions and they got quiet while I worked through them. Every now and again my Kim or her assistant Arlene (I'm not sure when she got there), would come in a check my temperature and listen to Hannah's heartbeat. Not once did I have to get out of the tub. When the water started to feel cool, Kim came in and ran new water for me. As I labored through contractions K started to notice that I was tensing my face. He gently touched the part of my face that was tense and I relaxed it. Dee then stared pushing right in the center of my forehead during contractions to help me relax it. It seems strange, but this helped so much!
At some point I started really noticing K. I don't know how to explain it. I kept looking up at him and was just wishing that our tub was big enough for him to get in and snuggle with me. I think Dee sensed this and left us alone for a little while. This was my favorite part of labor. I don't think it lasted long but it was so sweet. I felt so close and in love with my amazing husband.
Around 10:30 K let me know that Kaitlin had arrived. I remember thinking to myself that when we got closer to Hannah actually being born I should send for her to come be apart of it. Unfortunately by the time we got to that point I completely forgot.
At about the same time, Kim came in and asked if I wanted her to check me. I agreed and she told me I was about 8-9 cm. She then suggested that I get out and sit on the toilet for a few minutes to see if that helped bring Hannah down more. My water still had not broken and she was still a little high up. She thought that my water may even break over the toilet. I made some sort of comment about how that would be nice and there wouldn't need to be a clean up.
Let me just tell you now, sitting on the toilet during contractions is not pleasant at all! Not at all. I sat there for about 15 minutes and then I was done. K suggested I get in the shower. At first I said no but then decided what the heck, it's worth a try. K got in the shower with me to help support me if needed. My midwife and doula were in the bathroom with us but I was able to talk to K without them hearing us much. This was the time that I began to say that I could do it. I felt this way while sitting on the toilet but I didn't want anyone to hear me say it. K kept reminding me that I could and I was. Then it hit me. I was in transition and I knew it. I knew that the only reason I felt like I could do it was because it was almost over, this was the hardest part. Then I remembered that that meant that this was also the shortest part.
The shower didn't last long. When I got out, Kim brought me my ball to sit on. I really, really did not want to sit on my ball. I could tell that Hannah had moved a lot lower and I knew sitting on that ball was going to hurt. Dee told me to sit on it through 3 contractions. While sitting there things seemed to get even stronger. K stood in front of me for me to lean in. I started complaining of pain in my hips so Dee got behind me and squeezed my hips through each contraction. My moans got louder and I felt myself looking up and locking eyes with K through them. I began shaking and noticed tears streaming down my face. This was getting hard, very hard.
After several contractions on the ball (I stayed on for more than just the 3 my doula asked me to), my midwife suggested that I get on my hands and knees. The assistant laid out a huge waterproof pad on the floor. K helped me walk over too it and Dee placed my ball in front of me. I got on my knees and leaned over the ball rocking back and forth. I mentioned to someone that I didn't like how the ball felt sticky to me and the next thing I knew someone appeared with a towel to drape over it. I would rock in between contractions and then fall backwards closer to the floor during one. I kept moaning and telling them that there was so much pressure. Every down and then I noticed that Dee and my Midwife would look under the towel that was draped over my bottom (I requested the towel, they say you lose all modesty in transition, i did not). I felt my body sort of baring down during the contractions. After just 5 or so contractions like this I felt a big pop (I thought I heard it too). I then heard my midwife say something to her assistant about my water breaking. I rocked back to my knees sitting up and the assistant took the smaller chuck pad that was under me away. I heard the assistant note that the fluid was clear and then someone (I can't remember who) helped me up and walk me back to the tub. I don't know when they did it but there was fresh warm water in the tub for me to get into.
Once back in the tub things got very very intense. Kim checked me again and said that I was fully effaced and 9 1/2 - 10 cm. She said that there was only a small lip and that she could hold it back if I felt the need to push. While she was doing this my body seemed to take over and I began pushing without even trying. I had imagined that I would be more quit during pushing...wrong. I felt like I was screaming but K told me it was more like really, really loud growling and grunting. I don't remember feeling contractions at all at this point so there was no pushing during contractions and resting between. In hindsight it was like having one giant contraction. Without much effort from me I just pushed and pushed and pushed. I only stopped to breath. I stared saying Ow! Ow! Ow! My doula kept saying Out! Out! Out! So I started saying Out! instead of Ow! I remember begging Hannah to please come out. I kept saying "Please Hannah, it's time to come out. Momma is tired. All of a sudden I felt a strong burning sensation like nothing I've ever felt before. I thought it would feel like someone was lighting my bottom on fire but it was definitely a burning, stretching feeling. This whole time I'm still in the middle of this giant push that I can't stop. I heard my midwife telling her assistant +1, +2, +3, +4, +5. Then I told her "I can't do this anymore! It hurts too bad!" She told me that I could do it and that I was. She said that all of those numbers she was calling out was 1 cm closer to meeting my baby. As Hannah's head began to come out, I felt pressure like I cannot begin to describe. I remember locking eyes with K and silently begging him to make the pain stop. I noticed tears in his eyes as he kept telling me that he loved me and that I could do this. I looked back at my midwife as I pushed harder than I ever have (this time it was me pushing, not my body taking over) and I felt her head come out. The midwife had me stop pushing while she checked to make sure the cord was not around her neck. She then had me wait so that Hannah could rotate herself around. She then had me give one more big push and out came her shoulders. At 11:21am, our sweet Hannah Clare was born into the water in my bathroom.
After I knew Kim, Dee and S were on their way it suddenly started to become very real to me. All of a sudden I had a huge urge to do my hair. Why? I have no clue! I knew that once labor really got going my hair would be a wreck and I wouldn't care anyway, but none the less, I JUST HAD TO DO IT. While I went to pretty myself up K headed out to the kitchen to make sure all of the dishes were done and things were at least picked up. While straightening my hair I continued to time contractions and noticed that they were now 3-4 minutes apart. After I finished, I thought I should put a little makeup on. However, not two seconds after this thought crossed my mind I had a HUGE contractions and decided to just forget it. I grabbed my birthing ball and decided to sit down and rock on it for awhile. K then came back in the room and said it would probably be a good idea to give Kaitlin a call. It was 6:00am at this point and I figured he was right. She did have a 4 hour drive after all. I was so worried that I would have her come and I wouldn't really be in labor. For some reason this phone call was very memorable to me. When she answered the phone it was in the sweetest little whisper. I could tell that she knew that if I was calling her this early in the morning it was for one reason only. Our conversation was short and sweet and she was on her way. When I hung up the phone I knew for sure that this was it. Hannah was coming today!
I rolled my ball over to the side of my bed and continued to rock on it using the side of my bed to steady myself between contractions. K came back in and put my labor playlist on for me...then the doorbell rang. Kim, my midwife, was already hear. She made it in less than 45 minutes! She came in our room, spoke very softly, got quiet while I had a contraction, and asked me questions. When she was done she took my temperature and blood pressure, all while I sat on my ball. She then asked if I wanted her to check me to see where we were. Of course I said yes, but I was so nervous! I was terrified she was going to tell me I was only 1-2 cm. I climbed up on my bed, closed my eyes, and prayed I was making progress. Then she said something that was music to me ears. I was 4cm! "Wahoo!" I thought. Then she told me to hold on a second, she did something with her hand, and then said "Great! Now your 6cm." "Wait...what?" I asked her. She repeated herself and I began to laugh right through a contraction. It took me 3 whole days to make it to 3 cm with Mary-Grace and here I was, only a few hours into labor, and I was already 6.
At some point after this, Dee, my doula, and S, my sister arrived. I knew Mary-Grace was awake so I decided to head into the living room with everyone to spend a few minutes with my Peanut before she became a big sister. When I walked into the room my baby girl was relaxing in her chair drinking her milk. My sister had her daughter Olivia in her the high chair feeding her breakfast. I kissed my Peanut and sat down on the couch to talk to everyone. Surprisingly, it didn't seem to bother me that people were talking while I had contractions. I liked the feel of how relaxed everything was - It was very comforting. I said something to K and my sister about Mary-Grace needing breakfast. I started to tell them how to make her oatmeal but then decided I wanted to do it myself. I walked the few steps to the kitchen and had 3 hard contractions back to back. I heard my midwife comment to my doula that they seemed to be picking up. She then suggested to me that I get into the tub and try to relax. I agreed and quickly gave S instructions between a few contractions.
By the time I got to our bathroom, the tub was already filled. I climbed in and OH MY GOSH, it felt amazing. It definitely doesn't take away pain from contractions, but it sure does make it easier to relax through. I spent a few hours in the tub (about 3 1/2). K and Dee sat next to me. They encouraged me to drink water and Gatorade and offered me food (which I declined). After awhile I mentioned that I was getting hot so Dee got cold wash cloths for my head, chest and back. K went and got the small fan we bought to help cool me down. The 3 of us chatted between contractions and they got quiet while I worked through them. Every now and again my Kim or her assistant Arlene (I'm not sure when she got there), would come in a check my temperature and listen to Hannah's heartbeat. Not once did I have to get out of the tub. When the water started to feel cool, Kim came in and ran new water for me. As I labored through contractions K started to notice that I was tensing my face. He gently touched the part of my face that was tense and I relaxed it. Dee then stared pushing right in the center of my forehead during contractions to help me relax it. It seems strange, but this helped so much!
At some point I started really noticing K. I don't know how to explain it. I kept looking up at him and was just wishing that our tub was big enough for him to get in and snuggle with me. I think Dee sensed this and left us alone for a little while. This was my favorite part of labor. I don't think it lasted long but it was so sweet. I felt so close and in love with my amazing husband.
Around 10:30 K let me know that Kaitlin had arrived. I remember thinking to myself that when we got closer to Hannah actually being born I should send for her to come be apart of it. Unfortunately by the time we got to that point I completely forgot.
At about the same time, Kim came in and asked if I wanted her to check me. I agreed and she told me I was about 8-9 cm. She then suggested that I get out and sit on the toilet for a few minutes to see if that helped bring Hannah down more. My water still had not broken and she was still a little high up. She thought that my water may even break over the toilet. I made some sort of comment about how that would be nice and there wouldn't need to be a clean up.
Let me just tell you now, sitting on the toilet during contractions is not pleasant at all! Not at all. I sat there for about 15 minutes and then I was done. K suggested I get in the shower. At first I said no but then decided what the heck, it's worth a try. K got in the shower with me to help support me if needed. My midwife and doula were in the bathroom with us but I was able to talk to K without them hearing us much. This was the time that I began to say that I could do it. I felt this way while sitting on the toilet but I didn't want anyone to hear me say it. K kept reminding me that I could and I was. Then it hit me. I was in transition and I knew it. I knew that the only reason I felt like I could do it was because it was almost over, this was the hardest part. Then I remembered that that meant that this was also the shortest part.
The shower didn't last long. When I got out, Kim brought me my ball to sit on. I really, really did not want to sit on my ball. I could tell that Hannah had moved a lot lower and I knew sitting on that ball was going to hurt. Dee told me to sit on it through 3 contractions. While sitting there things seemed to get even stronger. K stood in front of me for me to lean in. I started complaining of pain in my hips so Dee got behind me and squeezed my hips through each contraction. My moans got louder and I felt myself looking up and locking eyes with K through them. I began shaking and noticed tears streaming down my face. This was getting hard, very hard.
Once back in the tub things got very very intense. Kim checked me again and said that I was fully effaced and 9 1/2 - 10 cm. She said that there was only a small lip and that she could hold it back if I felt the need to push. While she was doing this my body seemed to take over and I began pushing without even trying. I had imagined that I would be more quit during pushing...wrong. I felt like I was screaming but K told me it was more like really, really loud growling and grunting. I don't remember feeling contractions at all at this point so there was no pushing during contractions and resting between. In hindsight it was like having one giant contraction. Without much effort from me I just pushed and pushed and pushed. I only stopped to breath. I stared saying Ow! Ow! Ow! My doula kept saying Out! Out! Out! So I started saying Out! instead of Ow! I remember begging Hannah to please come out. I kept saying "Please Hannah, it's time to come out. Momma is tired. All of a sudden I felt a strong burning sensation like nothing I've ever felt before. I thought it would feel like someone was lighting my bottom on fire but it was definitely a burning, stretching feeling. This whole time I'm still in the middle of this giant push that I can't stop. I heard my midwife telling her assistant +1, +2, +3, +4, +5. Then I told her "I can't do this anymore! It hurts too bad!" She told me that I could do it and that I was. She said that all of those numbers she was calling out was 1 cm closer to meeting my baby. As Hannah's head began to come out, I felt pressure like I cannot begin to describe. I remember locking eyes with K and silently begging him to make the pain stop. I noticed tears in his eyes as he kept telling me that he loved me and that I could do this. I looked back at my midwife as I pushed harder than I ever have (this time it was me pushing, not my body taking over) and I felt her head come out. The midwife had me stop pushing while she checked to make sure the cord was not around her neck. She then had me wait so that Hannah could rotate herself around. She then had me give one more big push and out came her shoulders. At 11:21am, our sweet Hannah Clare was born into the water in my bathroom.
More to come on what it's like to have a homebirth and my thoughts on a few things.
