I finally heard back from Dr. G! I emailed her last Saturday to tell her how much better my last two cycles have been and hadn't heard back from her. They were pretty darn close to textbook. In her response she told me that dh and I need to pray about when we should start actually trying to achieve a pregnancy. She said that as long as my cycles are being consistently good and I'm feeling good she would leave ttc up to us.
So after yesterday's post you would think I would be jumping out of my chair with excitement that we have been given the green light. But...I'm not. I don't like that she left it up to us. I'm the kind of person who just needs someone to tell me what to do. I second guess myself a lot! It's really hard for me to make decisions like this. I think that the 11 months of avoiding have caused a lot of anticipation to build and now I am PETRIFIED!
I've been praying about when the right time would be for the last 11 months. I've been especially praying about it for the past 4 or so cycles. I have such mixed feelings. I have never felt like I truly hear what God is trying to tell me. I can't differentiate whether it's my own thoughts and desires or Gods. And no matter what I decide there is going to be that little piece of me who doubts.
There is a huge part of me that is totally and completely ready. A huge part of me says go for it! But then there's this little voice that says "what if." Ugh! I thought I would be excited but I'm so confused!
DH says we should go for it. He says that we are never going to know until we try. He reminded me that we spent a lot of time "trying" before we found out about Crei.ghton and then it was just truly winging it. Now we actually have the tools to know what we are doing and increase our chances. I trust his judgment and I know he has been praying about it. I know he wants this as badly as I do. I see the way he plays with our nephews...I see the way he looks at the little babies at church. I can tell it melts his heart. And seeing him melts mine.
So...let's say that we do go for it. I'm still pre-peak this cycle, should we start now? Or should we just finish out this cycle and wait for next? Decisions, decisions.
Now this question is going to see totally ridiculous but I have to ask. Is there a "right" way to try? Since DH and I have been charting our practitioner has only taught us how to avoid because it was very obvious that something was wrong. There has to be a method to this madness. I realize that peak type cm days are ideal. I just figure there is some kind of formula or something. Does that sound crazy? I don't know...I think it's my nerves getting to me. I just need someone to tell me what to do. It's easier that way. :)
I can actually answer the "right way" part. You see, when dh and I first ttc, I did something kind of silly, but I think others may easily make the same mistake. I popped up to pee afterwards. You know, due to the SF instructions. Well, when you ttc, you wait at least 30 min or max 1 hr before you do the instructions. So I always joke we conceived my son the first cycle we "tried correctly" (i.e. I didn't pee right after!) HTHs! I can understand overthinking after having this long, but I would say go for it. I think your doc now is just saying it is back up to you as a couple, as for every couple, and no need to avoid for medical reasons. This is great news!
ReplyDeleteThanks WBR! I didn't look at what she said that way. I kinda looked at it like she knew I was losing patience. I can be a bit pushy. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the "right way" advice! I feel so silly asking that question. It's almost like asking how babies are made. :) If I haven't figured that one out we are in big trouble! :o)
We had to figure it out too! And I thought the exact same thing as WBR-you no longer have a medical reason to avoid so the Church says "go for it!" Some advice I've been given from my Creighton teacher is to use "days of best quantity and quality and the two days following that." For us, that usually equates to 5 days before peak, and then I'll see more "quanity and quality" right after the two days ends-so it's ends up being 5-6 days in a row. It's tough sometimes, but as long as your husband's SA was ok-every day is totally fine. It helps me to know that we're not going to miss peak day when we're trying every day around that time. Did that make any sense?
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, butt on a pillow and legs in the air for 30 minutes afterwards. You're still safe to do the SF excercises afterwards.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!
Thanks Kaitlin! I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one asking questions like that. I felt a little silly.
ReplyDeleteI have lots of good quality and quantity so this should get interesting. I told dh this morning that he better get some rest. He just looked at me like I was nuts. After 11 months of avoiding I guess several days in a row sounds like fun. :) I think he make laugh though when I turn around and put my feet on the headboard. Haha!
DH hasn't had an SA yet. :( That concerns me a bit but Dr. G hasn't mentioned it much. We kind of live in the boonies and the closest place that will let us bring it in is an hour away. I guess we're going to need to get a hotel or something. Sounds kind of scandalish. :)
You could make a mini vacation out of it! But you should get one done, you don't want to "waste" time trying if he needs some help too. Let me know if you have questions about THAT part too!
ReplyDeleteHow exciting! Good luck with your decision and ttc-ing, I will say prayers for you!!
ReplyDeleteI say go with your husband's thoughts, and start now! Why wait another cycle if you have a chance this cycle? I say, YIPPEE!!!!!! This is very, very exciting!! Eleven months is a long time to wait it out. I'll be praying!!
ReplyDeletehttp://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2010/04/knowing-gods-will-and-catholic-freedom.html
ReplyDeleteAnd please, if you have time, read the blog post I wrote (above) which will ease your mind about decision making and knowing God's will.
Kaitlin: I like your way of thinking. Who couldn't use a mini vacation?
ReplyDeleteHebrews: Thank you! I hope you get to feeling better soon.
Leila: Thank you! That post is amazing and just what I needed. It has truly helped to ease my mind.
I say go for it! You could do the every other day method.... :)
ReplyDeleteLOL@WBR....I always jump right up afterwards...I wait 5 minutes, that's it and we conceived and I don't remember laying on my back! My dr actually told me it takes 5 minutes for them to get to where they need to be. I could be totally wrong, but after 4 1/2 years, I don't have it in me to lay down for 30 minutes. ;)
And the rumor that you have to O to conceive isn't all that correct either, because it was forced marital coitus too. :)
Good luck and have fun!