Mush, Ick, and Feeling Blah

My brain has turned to mush.  I have to admit that I thought pregnancy brain couldn't possible be that bad.  I was wrong.  I have no clue what's going on up there in my head.  I am having difficulty formulating a sentence or remembering my name let alone writing an entire post.  This post is sure to be all over the place and probably not too upbeat.  I apologize now.  If you don't like randomness I would just stop reading now.  Ok?  I warned you. :)

I'm 7 weeks today and the "ick," as I like to call it, has set in full force.  Oh my gosh I feel like poo!  I feel like I'm trapped in a vicious cycle.  I have to eat because of the unbelievable hunger that makes me want to vomit or climb walls.  But then when I eat I struggle to keep it down.  I often fail at the last task.  I found myself lying on the floor of the bathroom this morning.  I was too exhausted to keep running back and forth from my bed to the toilet so I made the floor my new home.  I know it sounds gross but it made perfect since at the time.  In the brief reprieves I have, I am thankful for the nausea because it reassures me that my body is doing it's job and there really is a baby in there. But in the moments that everything wants to come up I have to admit I am not so thankful.  It's hard to be thankful when your insides hurt from dry heaving all day.  I try hard as I might though to offer it up for my prayer buddy.

I'm exhausted.  I have never in my life been this tired.  Most days I barely make it off my couch.  I hate it!  This is the one thing I can't stand.  I feel so unbelievably lazy that it makes me sick.  I feel guilty too.  DH is at work all day everyday earning a living for me and little sweet pea and I'm at home sitting on my bum.  The house is a disaster and it's everything I have in me to pull some sort of meal together for dinner.  Often he even does the dishes at night.  I feel terrible.  I am constantly apologizing to him.  He is so amazing though.  He tells me not to worry that I am working hard growing our baby.  I love that man!  I am so blessed!

On a happier note.  I have my first prenatal appointment tomorrow.  I am so excited!!!  I have a sono at 10:15 and then I meet with one of the doctors after.  I'm so excited to get to see sweet pea and hear his/her heart beat.  I'm hoping that this will make it all more real.  I still cannot believe this is happening to me.  I am beside myself with amazement.