An Update and a Question

Wow!  I've been MIA for a long time!  I'm not sure what my excuse is...other than pure exhaustion.  Between insomnia and MG still waking up a few times at night I feel like I'm going to fall over.

I'm 12 weeks along today.  I find that hard to believe.  I still haven't totally grasped the fact that I'm pregnant again.  This pregnancy is definitely a lot different.  For one thing I don't feel like I dwell on it as much as I did with MG.  I think that is mostly because I don't have time to think about it.  My days are filled with entertaining a demanding 5 month old who doesn't nap and doesn't like to be put down.  I'm also not nearly as sick as I was with Peanut.  With her I could barely stand up without having to run to the bathroom.  I got dehydrated and had to be put on zo.fr.an to help me keep food down.  This time around I have spurts of nausea but that's really it.  I think I've only thrown up twice and that was several weeks ago.  I am thanking God everyday for not being as sick as I was before.  That was a huge fear of mine when I found out I was pregnant.  How in the world was I going to take care of an infant being that sick.  Fortunately that has not been the case.

I had my first appointment back at the beginning of August (my next one is next Tuesday).  It went really really well.  I was nervous going in.  I was expecting some rude comments about this being too soon and that it's not healthy or something like that.  I got none of it.  I was fortunate to be able to see my favorite doctor Dr. F.  I love him.  He did chuckle seeing me.  He is the doctor I saw for my 6 week follow up.  He was super nice and very happy for K and I.  He loves MG and spent some extra time with our appointment playing with her.  We got to haven an ultrasound and saw our little bean on the screen.  Super cute if you ask me.  I was happy to have K and MG there with me.  We met with the Patient Care Coordinator.  She has two children who are a week over a year apart.  She said that she loves it.  She said the first 6 weeks were really hard but after that it got easier.  It was nice talking to someone with a similar experience.  I'm going to be honest here.  While I am so happy to have this opportunity again I am terrified.  The thought of having a baby who isn't quite 1 and an infant is very daunting.  I have moments of panic and moments of guilt.  Sometimes I feel like it's not fair to MG ( I realize that is a ridiculous feeling).  I think I'm just worried about how I'm going to handle it all.  I didn't mention this on here but after MG was born I began having trouble with PPD. I was just finally beginning to seek treatment when I found out I was pregnant again.  I'm scared of it being worse next time around.  I'm scared because I really don't have any help once K goes back to work.

So while this pregnancy is better in the sense that I'm not so sick it definitely hasn't been smooth sailing.  They checked my thyroid at my first appointment.  I appear to be hyper again.  This happened to me with MG.  I went to the specialist and since I was nearing the end he decided not to treat until after she was born.  Well I never went back and now I'm having issues again.  I'm working on getting back in to see him.  Its hard though toting a 5 month with you for long doctor appointments.  I need it fixed though.  I've been cloudier than ever and can't seem to think at all.  I also haven't gained any weight...actually I've lost.  I would expect that if I was sick but since I'm not I find that strange.  The same thing happened at the end of my pregnancy with MG.

I'm also starting to have milk supply issues.  While I still have enough to feed MG everyday it seems to be just enough.  She used to be satisfied after only eating on one side.  Now I definitely have to feed her on both.  I've been trying to pump but I don't get much with that.  It's not so much that there isn't any milk to pump but more because my body hates the pump.  This is definitely where my guilt comes in. I really wanted to feed MG breastmilk until she was at least a year.  I'm not sure I will be able to for another 6 1/2 months.  If it's already decreasing I can't imagine that it will last until her first birthday.  It makes me very sad.  I love nursing her.  I have never been one to think that formula is "evil."  It absolutely serves a purpose.  However, I would much rather not have to give MG any.  I don't like some of the ingredients, I hate the smell, and I can't stand how expensive it is.  Our budget is already tight enough without that added expense.  I've looked into a milk bank but that is way out of my price range.  I feel horrible putting a cost on things like this but we just can't afford it.  I'm not really sure what do do.  Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

So now for my question...

In a few weeks we'll be starting MG on solids.  We'll start her on things like sweet potatoes, avacado, bananas, etc.  We will do one food every 4 days to make sure there are no allergies.  I've been reading many many websites on the topic but I'm overwhelmed.  How often do I feed her solids and for how long?  When do I increase?  I see that a lot of people feed their little ones yogurt.  Is that ok?  I thought you weren't supposed to do dairy until a year.  Any information or direction any of you can provide would be wonderful.  I'm so lost! :)

If you made it through all of this mess you deserve a cookie.  :)  Have a wonderfully blessed day!

Prayers Please

My sister just called. She spoke with my dad today and he told her he is losing his house. It will be foreclosed on on August 16th. We knew he was struggling financially, he always has, but we didn't realize it had gotten this bad. The house is old and needs several repairs that are very expensive. It just got to be too much for him and he couldn't keep up. To make it worse his hours have been cut at work. There is a lot more going on with the situation than I will get into here but I know he could really use some prayers. It's been a tough year for my dad, it's been a tough year for my whole family. Thank you all! I really appreciate it!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone so please excuse the autocorrect craziness! My phone is out to get me!

Recipes

A few of you requested my crock pot recipes so here you go.

Sweet & Sour Chicken

• 4 tablespoons butter, melted
• 3/4 c. ketchup
• 1/2 c. white vinegar
• 3/4 c. brown sugar
• 3 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
• 2 cloves minced garlic
• salt and pepper to taste
• red pepper flakes to taste
• 1 1/2 c. chicken broth
• 6 boneless skinless chicken breasts (I use frozen chicken.  At my grocery store you can buy a bag of all natural (no hormone/antibiotic chicken).  I just use however many breasts are in the bag)
• 1 can pineapple chunks, drained (If the fresh pineapple looks good I prefer fresh but in the winter I get the canned)

Place Chicken in the crock pot (no need to defrost).  In a bowl mix melted butter, ketchup, vinegar, brown sugar, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, salt, pepper, red pepper, and chicken broth.  Pour over chicken.  Cook on low for about 8ish hours.  When the chicken is done I like to pull it out and shred it with a fork.  Place the shredded chicken back in the crock pot and add the pineapple.  Cook for an additional 20 minutes.  I then serve it over rice.

Crock Pot Mac & Cheese

I found this recipe on Pinterest.  I haven't tried this one yet but my sister has made a similar one (Pau.la De.an I believe).  The recipe suggests using skim milk, and fat free condensed milk...I don't believe in fat free dairy...it just doesn't make sense to me so I will be using whole.  And like I said in my previous post.  If I have some leftover ham from my soup tonight and sandwiches on Thursday I'll be adding that to the recipe.  I also tend to serve broccoli with mac&cheese.  It just goes together if you ask me. :)
http://whiskandaprayer.blogspot.com/2010/08/magazinecookbook-monday-slow-baked-mac.html

 Crock Pot Lasagna


I also found this one on Pinterest.
http://gottalittlespacetofill.blogspot.com/2010/05/crock-pot-lasagna.html

Lentil Soup

I know this isn't a crock pot recipe but it's really good and easy.

• 1 1lb package lentils
• 2 10oz cans chicken broth
• 1/2lb ham
• 1 10oz can stewed tomatoes, chopped
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 large onion
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 2 cloves fresh garlic, minced
• 2 c. water
• 1 tablespoon fresh chopped parsley (I often leave this out for some reason)
• 1 teaspoon salt
• black pepper to taste

Wash lentils and drain.  Coarsely chop ham and onions.  Heat olive oil in a large soup pot with lid and saute onion until golden.  Add all other ingredients and stir.  Cook covered on low heat for at least 1 hour (It's better if you go longer).

This makes quite a bit of soup.  Sometimes the leftovers thicken up a lot.  If they do you can add more broth or serve it over rice.

I can't find my Santa Fe Chicken recipe. :(  Hopefully I'll find it before I'm supposed to make it.)  But it goes something like this...

1 bag of frozen chicken
1 Can black beans drained and rinced (I actually usually do 2 cans because we really like black beans.)
1 bag frozen corn
1 can Rot.el
Salt & Pepper to taste
Red Pepper to taste
Chopped Greed Onions
Shredded Cheese

Throw chicken, beans, corn, rotel, and spices in the crock pot on low for 8ish hours.  Serve over rice topped with cheese and green onions.

Let me know if you try any of these.  I hope you like them. :)

Menu Planning

Despite the nausea setting in I have this major urge to simplify and get organized. I realize the I'm only 7 weeks along but my anxiety is in full force and the thought of 2 under 1 terrifies me. Heck, I still haven't figured out what I'm doing with Mary-Grace let alone with another one. I have to face the harsh reality that my willy nilly multiple trips each week to the grocery store is not going to be as doable. I'm not going to be able to just wing it each night when it comes to dinner so I need to start planning. I think it's definitely best for my sanity and my wallet.

Last night I sat down and planned a menu for dinner each night this week. Then I made a list of what I need to make each meal. K is going to make a spreadsheet for me with all of my recipes. Then I can sort of drag and drop onto a calendar. Eventually I plan on picking my weekly menu base on the sale adds but for now just planning and sticking to a list is my goal.

This morning I set out to shop and already spent less than I usually do. Wahoo! If I get good at it maybe I can make one for a whole month. I'd also like to work in weekend lunches. I usually make enough of whatever we eat for dinner for us to have for lunch the next day so I'm covered there.

So anyway, this is what I have for the week.

MONDAY: Spaghetti w/ ground beef and broccoli (I put the broccoli in the sauce.)

TUESDAY: Ham and Lentil Soup

WEDNESDAY: Crock Pot Santa Fe Chicken w/ Rice

THURSDAY: Ham Sandwiches on Sourdough with the leftover ham from Tuesday

FRIDAY: Crock Pot Mac & Cheese (If I still have leftover ham I'll throw that in there).

SATURDAY: Crock Pot Sweet & Sour Chicken

SUNDAY: Crock Pot Lasagna

I'm not sure what veggies we'll have each night. I'll decide that based on what looks good when I go to the new little farmers market down the street from my house. I know there's a lot of pasta on the menu but it sits well in my sensitive stomach and I seem to be craving it. I'm also taking advantage of my crock pot right now. I'm exhausted beyond exhausted and it just makes my life so much easier.

If you have some good make ahead or crock pot recipes that you love I'd love for you to share them. I love trying out new recipes!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone so please excuse the autocorrect typos. My phone thinks it's smarter than me.

Quick Takes - But only 5 :)

1.  I still haven't posted Mary-Grace's 3 month post...she was 4 months yesterday.  One of these days I'll have enough braincells to get them done.  One day.

2.  I enjoyed my first ever blogger get together this week!  It was awesome!  I went to stay with Lauren for a few days and also got to hang out with Kaitlin and Awaiting.  We had a fabulous few days hanging out on the beach and eating Lauren's yummy food (she's a great cook!).  Here's a preview of our stay.  I'll post more about it later.

Mary-Grace, Abigail, and Hannah!

3.  This past Monday we celebrated 1 year since I became Catholic.  K made dinner and it was yummy!

4.  We also celebrated 1 year since we found out about our sweet Mary-Grace.  Do you remember?  We found out on the same day.  It was a bit crazy.  You can read about it here.

What a difference a year makes!

5.  We celebrated one more thing.  I have debated posting about this for fear of hurting someone.  But I've decided to go ahead with it.  I believe that things like this should always be celebrated, no matter what.  We are also celebrating the upcoming arrival of baby #2.  I found out a few weeks ago and am now about 6 weeks along.  To say that we were shocked is an understatement.  How can someone who has to work for years to get pregnant suddenly get pregnant again only 3 months postpartum?  I have no idea.  I do not pretend to know God's plan for me and for my family.  My heart is full of joy and my mind is very confused.  I believe I am due around March 11th but my chart was really wonky so I'm not 100% sure when I ovulated.  If you remember correctly Mary-Grace was born on March 21st...so that's pretty crazy.  Iri.sh tw.ins for the formerly infertile girl?  Who would have thunk it?  I have no clue how I'm going to take care of a newborn and a not quite one year old.  But I know that God in his infinite wisdom has a plan.  I will be doing a lot of praying in the next several months.  I want you ladies to know that I still pray for you daily.  I have been offering up the exhaustion for you and will now begin offering up the ick that set in this morning for you as well.  K and I are also praying for all of you every night.  I totally understand if you run screaming from my blog now.  I won't be upset with you.

To my family:  If you have somehow managed to find my blog please spill the beans.  We haven't told family yet for a reason.  We will be shortly though.  I promise.

A Letter

Dear Nana,

It has been 6 months since you left to be with Jesus.  Six months since your family gathered around you and I held your hand as you slipped from this life into the next.  Six months since we all told you it was ok to go.  Six month since I wished I could take that back.  I think back to that day every day.  I think about sitting there with you in that week leading up to January 6th.  I'm so glad I could be with you in those days before Jesus called you home.  I was in denial that this was actually it. They told me you would not get better but I didn't want to believe them.  I wanted to believe that you would, just like all of those other times.  I prayed they were wrong.  I prayed for a miracle.

I think about you every day.  Sometimes I smile and laugh.  Many days there are tears.  I miss you more than I could ever tell you.  Every day I wish I could hug you.  I think about sitting at your dining room table and just talking like we did so often.  I miss your stories, your advice, and you voice.

Thank you for being there the day that Mary-Grace was born.  I could feel you in the room.    My beautiful girl reminds me so much of you.  She has your nose and your smile.  I can't look at her and not think of you.  She is beautiful.  I wish more than anything that you could hold her.  I wanted so bad for you to meet my baby.  No one was happier for me when I found out I was pregnant than you.  I know how much you were looking forward to meeting her. 

Things just haven't been the same since you left.  You were the glue that held our family together.  I haven't been to your house much in the last 6 months.  Please let Granddad know that I'm sorry.  I want to see him but it is so hard for me to be in your house.  Every time I walk in I expect to see you sitting there at the table.  I want so bad to go in, get us both a diet coke, and sit down for one of our chats.  I miss those days so much.

Thank you for the red bird nest in my front yard.  Every time I see those red birds come out of the tree I think of you.  They are such a comfort.  When I see them it reminds me that you are watching over me.  Thank you for watching over our family.  Please continue to do so.  We need you so much.

I think about your reunion with your family in Heaven all the time.  I hope it was everything you always imagined it would be.  I found comfort in that January day remembering what you always said about Heaven.  You never were scared to go.  You knew that when you got there all of your family that went before you would be waiting for you to arrive with a big family reunion.  I hope you got to hug GG, Billy, Johnny, Big Daddy, and all of the others just as you always dreamed of.  Save a place for me.  One day, when I get there, I'm giving you a big hug.

Please continue to watch over your family.  Pray for us.  Pray for me.  Pray that one day I can think about you without the tears.  On those hard days when I feel lonely, let me know you are here beside me.  I know you are, I just need a little reminder.

I love you Nana.

At my bridal shower in Sept 2006

Tridentine Mass

K and I are going to our first Tridentine Mass.  Can I just tell you how excited I am.  Oh my gosh I'm really really excited!  We have been talking about going to one but didn't think any of the parishes around here had them.  We were talking to one of K's aunts a few weeks ago and she told us there is one at a parish about 45 minutes north of here.  Well, she emailed us today and we are all going on July 10th.

Like I said, I'm super excited, but I'm also a bit nervous.  I know it's going to be very different from what I am used to.  Anything I should know before going.  I've researched but I'd like to hear from you ladies.  Can you give me an idea of what to expect or anything I need to know before going?

Thank you, Thank you!