The State of Things

I haven't decided on a new doctor yet. I've had two people recommend two different doctors to me to I'm researching both. One is looking somewhat promising. I ended up digging a little deeper on the doctor I went to last week, apparently he used to be good but he has had a lot of bad reviews in the last few years. Lots and lots of complaints about how you see him for your first appointment and then you only see a PA after that. I have no issues with PAs, in fact with my primary doctor I prefer the PA. However, when it comes to a specialist (who I am paying a lot more money to) I want to see the doctor. People were saying that they would specifically ask to see the doctor and they were told no. I also wasn't surprised to see all of the complaints about how rude the office staff is. I experienced that one first hand.

The truth is, it doesn't matter if he is great or not. I have nowhere to leave MG during the day. Things where K works are not going well so I don't want him taking off every time I have an appointment. We can't afford for him to lose his job. MG is also still breastfed and pumping isn't really an option for us. I've tried pumping. I tried daily, multiple times a day, for weeks. My body hates that pump an I can't get any milk. I know there's milk in there but it won't come out. I've talked to lactation consultants and tried everything we can think of (different size attachments, hand pumps, electric pumps, manual expression) and I get nothing. It's crazy. I can't leave her and risk not being back before she's hungry again. Especially when she eats every two hours and the drive alone to the doctor is 45 minutes one way.

I picked up my ultrasound report and images yesterday. I figured I should have them for whenever I find a doctor. Probably not the best thing to do. Of course I'm flipping out and trying to analyze what I read. Dr. Google isn't helping. I'm pretty sure that when I find a doctor a biopsy is going to be in order. I have 6 large hypoechoic nodules (my thrips itself also seems to be rather large). I have no desire for a biopsy. I hate needles! And I hate that biopsy means they are checking for cancer. I'm 14 weeks pregnant. What the heck can they do for me if I have cancer. I'm terrified!

Sleep...
Sleep is nonexistent in this house. For me anyway. MG is up at least 5 times a night and I can't get her to nap to save my life. It really didn't bother me until the past several weeks. Pregnancy exhaustion is making me crave sleep. I used to love our cuddle time at night. Now I'm just so tired and foggy that I pray she falls back to sleep quickly. Sweet MG has decided to use my nipple for teething. Ouch is all I can say. I'm already quite sore without her chomping down on me. I've been having flash backs to that first week of breastfeeding. I've had to dig out my cream again. I'm going to be honest here, I loved breastfeeding, loved it, until recently. It's becoming so painful again and MG fights me so much now that it's becoming a chore. I hate admitting to that. I find myself praying through it and begging for mercy. It hurts that bad.

On a positive note. Although MG isn't quite 6 months old we have started solids. She was so ready and she lives it! We have only tried pears, sweet potatoes, and bananas so far. We're going to try avocado today. The first bite or two we get funny looks but then she gets excited and tries to shove the spoon in her mouth. K and I can't seem to feed her fast enough. If she wants more before we give it to her she opens her mouth and tries to lunge at us grabbing for the bowl. It's hilarious! It's been so much fun!















I didn't actually let her eat a banana like that. I was eating one and she kept grabbing for it. I figures since she had already tasted banana I'd let her gum it for a second. She LOVED it!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone so please excuse the autocorrect craziness! My phone is out to get me!

**UPDATED** I have never in my life been so angry!

Today I was supposed to have an appointment with an endocrinologist to deal with my thyroid issues. I had all of my bloodwork done and an ultrasound. I was actually really excited about my appointment because I've heard good things about this doctor. I'm so sick of feeling like crap and had high hopes that this doctor could help me.

So I show up early. Feed MG in the car just in case it's a long appointment. I didn't want her to get fussy. Put her in her stroller and head up. When I walk up to the desk to sign in I notice a huge sign that says,

"Absolutely no children in the exam room. If you must bring your child with you please bring someone with you who can sit in the waiting room with your child."

Wait, what? I knocked on the glass obviously irritating the woman at the desk. When she opened it I asked about the sign. I told her I wasn't aware of their policy and that I had my 5 1/2 month old with me. She then told me rather rudely that I would have to reschedule. I explained that I don't have anyone who can watch my daughter during the day. She them told me that that was not her problem. I said "Ma'am, she's a baby, she's in a stroller, I'm sure she won't be any trouble." She said no, she can't go back and said she would reschedule me. Um, did she not just listen to what I said? I don't have anyone to watch her! I told her no thank you I will just have to find a new doctor. And do you know what she said? "Fine." Fine? That's it?

By this point I'm boiling and I can feel tears welling up in my eyes so I turn around to get out of there asap before I start crying. There was a nice middle aged woman in the waiting room who held the door for me and kept saying very loudly how ridiculous this was. I hope she thought it was ridiculous enough to say something to the doctor.

In hindsight I should have asked for my blood and ultrasound results. I was just so upset that I had to get out of there. I understand that they are a private business and they can implement whatever policy they choose no matter how absurd it is. However, it would be nice if they told people this on the phone when they made their appointments. Had I known this I wouldn't have made the appointment and waisted an hour long drive.

So I guess I'm back at square one. I have to begin my search all over again and I'm not sure where to start. What frustrates me more than anything is that my results are in and yet I don't know what they say. I just want to know what's wrong with me.

Since when did children become the enemy? I just don't get it? What really boggles my mind is that I was there yet they couldn't just see me. My daughter is not even 6 months old. She was in a stroller. It's not like she could get into anything. Not that that matters. I don't really care to do business with anyone who feels this way about children. I just wanted my flippin' test results.

Am I crazy for being so angry? Do y'all take you babies with you to the doctor?

**UPDATE**

When I left the office I called K immediately. I was crying and fuming mad. My normally very calm husband was pretty ticked off and told me he wad going to call. He left a message for the office manager asking her to please call him back. He explained what happened and also told her that we needed my records sent to me ASAP because we needed to find me a new doctor. I figured she would t call back but she did. K said she was fairly polite but wasn't budging on their policy. He asked why we weren't informed and she said that it is in the new patient forms. Um, hello! New patient here! How an I supposed to know about your stupid policy before my appointment when you haven't given me the forms yet. He said he understood that sometimes toddlers can be unruly and make things difficult but our daughter is 6 months old and was sleeping in her stroller. She said it didn't matter. He also told her how rude the receptionist was and he said she somewhat apologized. But honestly, he got nowhere with her.

I was thinking about calling the actual doctor tomorrow but I'm not sure. Even if he did agree to allow me to bring MG I'm not sure I want to go to a doctor who obviously doesn't like children. I'm not sure I can trust him to treat me properly while I'm pregnant. I already have serious trust issues with doctors. I may write a strongly worded letter to him just letting him know how ridiculous this is but I'm not sure what that would accomplish. There are several doctor review sites out there though and I have every intention of reviewing him and letting people know about his absurd policy. I dot want another parent having the same experience I did.

So I guess the search continues...


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone so please excuse the autocorrect craziness! My phone is out to get me!

Pictures - Because Kaitlin Asked :)

In my last post Kaitlin kindly asked for pictures. How could I say now? Unfortunately I think my computer finally bit the dust so y'all are going to have to settle for iPhone pictures.

So here it is. A quick picture post...Instagram style.




I couldn't resist these sunglasses. Too cute!




Mary-Grace loves her bath time every night with her daddy. As you can tell, K is a bit of a goof ball.




This is my child's hair in the morning. Notice the bald spot? It is actually a huge one that wraps from ear to ear. She's a mover in her sleep and her head shows it. The funny part is that the hair on top of her head is getting really long and wild (notice it standing straight up). K calls it the reverse mullet.




My sister came over the other day with her 2 youngest (her oldest was at school). Eli loved holding his sister Olivia and cousin Mary-Grace. Notice how chunky my niece is? This is the one that was in the nicu just 2 months ago. She is 3 months younger than Mary-Grace and has already passes her in weight. She's such a rollie pollie!




This one just makes me laugh. :)




She's learning to sit up!




We finally got one of those shopping buggy cover things. She LOVED it! Bonus, this one had harness things to hold her in. She tends to flop.




Ready to watch her first ever Bulls game. K and I are so happy college football is back and that we et to share it with our Peanut this year. Yesterday was the longest game ever!!! At halftime they had a rain delay that lasted over 2 hours and then with only 5 minutes left they had another delay that lasted about an hour. The game started at 3:30 and didn't end until after 9:30. Sheesh! But in the end the Bulls pulled it out and beat Notre Dame. Wahoo!

I hope y'all have a fabulous Labor Day! I've got my second OB appointment on Tuesday morning and then a thyroid ultrasound that afternoon. I'll be sure to update.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone so please excuse the autocorrect craziness! My phone is out to get me!

An Update and a Question

Wow!  I've been MIA for a long time!  I'm not sure what my excuse is...other than pure exhaustion.  Between insomnia and MG still waking up a few times at night I feel like I'm going to fall over.

I'm 12 weeks along today.  I find that hard to believe.  I still haven't totally grasped the fact that I'm pregnant again.  This pregnancy is definitely a lot different.  For one thing I don't feel like I dwell on it as much as I did with MG.  I think that is mostly because I don't have time to think about it.  My days are filled with entertaining a demanding 5 month old who doesn't nap and doesn't like to be put down.  I'm also not nearly as sick as I was with Peanut.  With her I could barely stand up without having to run to the bathroom.  I got dehydrated and had to be put on zo.fr.an to help me keep food down.  This time around I have spurts of nausea but that's really it.  I think I've only thrown up twice and that was several weeks ago.  I am thanking God everyday for not being as sick as I was before.  That was a huge fear of mine when I found out I was pregnant.  How in the world was I going to take care of an infant being that sick.  Fortunately that has not been the case.

I had my first appointment back at the beginning of August (my next one is next Tuesday).  It went really really well.  I was nervous going in.  I was expecting some rude comments about this being too soon and that it's not healthy or something like that.  I got none of it.  I was fortunate to be able to see my favorite doctor Dr. F.  I love him.  He did chuckle seeing me.  He is the doctor I saw for my 6 week follow up.  He was super nice and very happy for K and I.  He loves MG and spent some extra time with our appointment playing with her.  We got to haven an ultrasound and saw our little bean on the screen.  Super cute if you ask me.  I was happy to have K and MG there with me.  We met with the Patient Care Coordinator.  She has two children who are a week over a year apart.  She said that she loves it.  She said the first 6 weeks were really hard but after that it got easier.  It was nice talking to someone with a similar experience.  I'm going to be honest here.  While I am so happy to have this opportunity again I am terrified.  The thought of having a baby who isn't quite 1 and an infant is very daunting.  I have moments of panic and moments of guilt.  Sometimes I feel like it's not fair to MG ( I realize that is a ridiculous feeling).  I think I'm just worried about how I'm going to handle it all.  I didn't mention this on here but after MG was born I began having trouble with PPD. I was just finally beginning to seek treatment when I found out I was pregnant again.  I'm scared of it being worse next time around.  I'm scared because I really don't have any help once K goes back to work.

So while this pregnancy is better in the sense that I'm not so sick it definitely hasn't been smooth sailing.  They checked my thyroid at my first appointment.  I appear to be hyper again.  This happened to me with MG.  I went to the specialist and since I was nearing the end he decided not to treat until after she was born.  Well I never went back and now I'm having issues again.  I'm working on getting back in to see him.  Its hard though toting a 5 month with you for long doctor appointments.  I need it fixed though.  I've been cloudier than ever and can't seem to think at all.  I also haven't gained any weight...actually I've lost.  I would expect that if I was sick but since I'm not I find that strange.  The same thing happened at the end of my pregnancy with MG.

I'm also starting to have milk supply issues.  While I still have enough to feed MG everyday it seems to be just enough.  She used to be satisfied after only eating on one side.  Now I definitely have to feed her on both.  I've been trying to pump but I don't get much with that.  It's not so much that there isn't any milk to pump but more because my body hates the pump.  This is definitely where my guilt comes in. I really wanted to feed MG breastmilk until she was at least a year.  I'm not sure I will be able to for another 6 1/2 months.  If it's already decreasing I can't imagine that it will last until her first birthday.  It makes me very sad.  I love nursing her.  I have never been one to think that formula is "evil."  It absolutely serves a purpose.  However, I would much rather not have to give MG any.  I don't like some of the ingredients, I hate the smell, and I can't stand how expensive it is.  Our budget is already tight enough without that added expense.  I've looked into a milk bank but that is way out of my price range.  I feel horrible putting a cost on things like this but we just can't afford it.  I'm not really sure what do do.  Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

So now for my question...

In a few weeks we'll be starting MG on solids.  We'll start her on things like sweet potatoes, avacado, bananas, etc.  We will do one food every 4 days to make sure there are no allergies.  I've been reading many many websites on the topic but I'm overwhelmed.  How often do I feed her solids and for how long?  When do I increase?  I see that a lot of people feed their little ones yogurt.  Is that ok?  I thought you weren't supposed to do dairy until a year.  Any information or direction any of you can provide would be wonderful.  I'm so lost! :)

If you made it through all of this mess you deserve a cookie.  :)  Have a wonderfully blessed day!

Prayers Please

My sister just called. She spoke with my dad today and he told her he is losing his house. It will be foreclosed on on August 16th. We knew he was struggling financially, he always has, but we didn't realize it had gotten this bad. The house is old and needs several repairs that are very expensive. It just got to be too much for him and he couldn't keep up. To make it worse his hours have been cut at work. There is a lot more going on with the situation than I will get into here but I know he could really use some prayers. It's been a tough year for my dad, it's been a tough year for my whole family. Thank you all! I really appreciate it!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone so please excuse the autocorrect craziness! My phone is out to get me!

Recipes

A few of you requested my crock pot recipes so here you go.

Sweet & Sour Chicken

• 4 tablespoons butter, melted
• 3/4 c. ketchup
• 1/2 c. white vinegar
• 3/4 c. brown sugar
• 3 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
• 2 cloves minced garlic
• salt and pepper to taste
• red pepper flakes to taste
• 1 1/2 c. chicken broth
• 6 boneless skinless chicken breasts (I use frozen chicken.  At my grocery store you can buy a bag of all natural (no hormone/antibiotic chicken).  I just use however many breasts are in the bag)
• 1 can pineapple chunks, drained (If the fresh pineapple looks good I prefer fresh but in the winter I get the canned)

Place Chicken in the crock pot (no need to defrost).  In a bowl mix melted butter, ketchup, vinegar, brown sugar, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, salt, pepper, red pepper, and chicken broth.  Pour over chicken.  Cook on low for about 8ish hours.  When the chicken is done I like to pull it out and shred it with a fork.  Place the shredded chicken back in the crock pot and add the pineapple.  Cook for an additional 20 minutes.  I then serve it over rice.

Crock Pot Mac & Cheese

I found this recipe on Pinterest.  I haven't tried this one yet but my sister has made a similar one (Pau.la De.an I believe).  The recipe suggests using skim milk, and fat free condensed milk...I don't believe in fat free dairy...it just doesn't make sense to me so I will be using whole.  And like I said in my previous post.  If I have some leftover ham from my soup tonight and sandwiches on Thursday I'll be adding that to the recipe.  I also tend to serve broccoli with mac&cheese.  It just goes together if you ask me. :)
http://whiskandaprayer.blogspot.com/2010/08/magazinecookbook-monday-slow-baked-mac.html

 Crock Pot Lasagna


I also found this one on Pinterest.
http://gottalittlespacetofill.blogspot.com/2010/05/crock-pot-lasagna.html

Lentil Soup

I know this isn't a crock pot recipe but it's really good and easy.

• 1 1lb package lentils
• 2 10oz cans chicken broth
• 1/2lb ham
• 1 10oz can stewed tomatoes, chopped
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 large onion
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 2 cloves fresh garlic, minced
• 2 c. water
• 1 tablespoon fresh chopped parsley (I often leave this out for some reason)
• 1 teaspoon salt
• black pepper to taste

Wash lentils and drain.  Coarsely chop ham and onions.  Heat olive oil in a large soup pot with lid and saute onion until golden.  Add all other ingredients and stir.  Cook covered on low heat for at least 1 hour (It's better if you go longer).

This makes quite a bit of soup.  Sometimes the leftovers thicken up a lot.  If they do you can add more broth or serve it over rice.

I can't find my Santa Fe Chicken recipe. :(  Hopefully I'll find it before I'm supposed to make it.)  But it goes something like this...

1 bag of frozen chicken
1 Can black beans drained and rinced (I actually usually do 2 cans because we really like black beans.)
1 bag frozen corn
1 can Rot.el
Salt & Pepper to taste
Red Pepper to taste
Chopped Greed Onions
Shredded Cheese

Throw chicken, beans, corn, rotel, and spices in the crock pot on low for 8ish hours.  Serve over rice topped with cheese and green onions.

Let me know if you try any of these.  I hope you like them. :)

Menu Planning

Despite the nausea setting in I have this major urge to simplify and get organized. I realize the I'm only 7 weeks along but my anxiety is in full force and the thought of 2 under 1 terrifies me. Heck, I still haven't figured out what I'm doing with Mary-Grace let alone with another one. I have to face the harsh reality that my willy nilly multiple trips each week to the grocery store is not going to be as doable. I'm not going to be able to just wing it each night when it comes to dinner so I need to start planning. I think it's definitely best for my sanity and my wallet.

Last night I sat down and planned a menu for dinner each night this week. Then I made a list of what I need to make each meal. K is going to make a spreadsheet for me with all of my recipes. Then I can sort of drag and drop onto a calendar. Eventually I plan on picking my weekly menu base on the sale adds but for now just planning and sticking to a list is my goal.

This morning I set out to shop and already spent less than I usually do. Wahoo! If I get good at it maybe I can make one for a whole month. I'd also like to work in weekend lunches. I usually make enough of whatever we eat for dinner for us to have for lunch the next day so I'm covered there.

So anyway, this is what I have for the week.

MONDAY: Spaghetti w/ ground beef and broccoli (I put the broccoli in the sauce.)

TUESDAY: Ham and Lentil Soup

WEDNESDAY: Crock Pot Santa Fe Chicken w/ Rice

THURSDAY: Ham Sandwiches on Sourdough with the leftover ham from Tuesday

FRIDAY: Crock Pot Mac & Cheese (If I still have leftover ham I'll throw that in there).

SATURDAY: Crock Pot Sweet & Sour Chicken

SUNDAY: Crock Pot Lasagna

I'm not sure what veggies we'll have each night. I'll decide that based on what looks good when I go to the new little farmers market down the street from my house. I know there's a lot of pasta on the menu but it sits well in my sensitive stomach and I seem to be craving it. I'm also taking advantage of my crock pot right now. I'm exhausted beyond exhausted and it just makes my life so much easier.

If you have some good make ahead or crock pot recipes that you love I'd love for you to share them. I love trying out new recipes!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone so please excuse the autocorrect typos. My phone thinks it's smarter than me.